Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

i,m not able to move on,

my girlfriend left me nearly 13 years ago and ive not been able to move on. she left because i,m a schizophrenic but i wasnt diagnosed with it until 6 months after she split. i put myself into a psychiatric hospital to get help cos i knew i wasnt right, she couldnt cope even when i was getting help and left me, this made the situation worse and i ended up sectioned for quite sometime.i did write to her while i was in hospital but she obviously stopped writing to me cos i never got a reply back and she moved on quickly,( we wrote cos we lived in different towns) we had been together for nearly 6 years and were talking of marriage and children. anyway after a few years of getting sorted out i,m back to being fine again. we got talking to each other again 4 years after the split and she apologised for leaving and that she should of stuck with it till i got better. i,m now perfectly fine. we just email each other now, i did tell her that i still loved her but she went all quiet on me for a while, now we email each other every week or 2. but now shes going to get married and have a kid with her new fella. the problem is i still feel the same about her as i did when we first met. my heart feels like its been wrenched out again, i hurt everyday about the split, i cant seem to move on. ive not had a girlfriend since her and i cant see myself getting another one. ive been in love once and that was her, i cant see it happeneing again, i look at women but i dont fancy them, its as if ive been turned off to women. i,m nearly 40 now and i cant see me marrying or having kids cos of this. i find it bizarre to be still getting upset about her. why cant i move on?
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First Helper tomkosson
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replied December 3rd, 2009
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She was your first and only love so she will always have a part of your heart.

i m glad you got the help you needed and you are doing well. i think that you should try to concentrate on yourself and keep yourself busy.

the reason why she was quiet is because she has moved on and want to only be your friend.

if you think keeping in contact with her and hearing about her new life, it might be a good idea for you to stop talking to her.
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replied December 3rd, 2009
ive tried keeping busy, it doesnt go away, i just got used to the pain. but when i found out she was pregnant i felt the same pain i did when she said goodbye, its awful.
ive known her for 20 years and i cant get myself to say goodbye to her and not talk to her again. am i going to suffer everyday with it? it doesnt help tho i am better i suffer with depression, i know i,m going to be single till the day i die but i guess thats a different topic. is it best to say goodbye or stay a while and see how it goes. one thing i would like to see is her wedding, shes already mentioned about wanting me there, but will seeing her in her dress make me worse, am i a gluton for punishment?
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replied December 3rd, 2009
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yes!
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replied December 7th, 2009
so, how do i say goodbye, do i stop replying to her emails or do i kindly say that my feelings get in the way of friendship and giver her a goodbye email or what, what should i do?
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replied December 7th, 2009
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i think it would be a good idea to give her a good bye email. this is your life and you have to decide for yourself what is best for you.
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replied January 11th, 2010
yes goodbye email you should do.Look at my case.My friend who was so close to me, could not do wothout taalking to me each day,is now mum!! i have no clue if he really will want me ,has moved on and never ever will meet me/see me..yet i hope!! in spite of evryone telling me its over..it is not the right thing to do to a woamn you really care for.
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replied May 31st, 2011
ive sent her the goodbye email 2 months ago and i,m hurting like hell.
i,m starting to regret it already , it seems the pain isnt going to go away. i think ive fekked up again by saying goodbye
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