my girlfriend left me nearly 13 years ago and ive not been able to move on. she left because i,m a schizophrenic but i wasnt diagnosed with it until 6 months after she split. i put myself into a psychiatric hospital to get help cos i knew i wasnt right, she couldnt cope even when i was getting help and left me, this made the situation worse and i ended up sectioned for quite sometime.i did write to her while i was in hospital but she obviously stopped writing to me cos i never got a reply back and she moved on quickly,( we wrote cos we lived in different towns) we had been together for nearly 6 years and were talking of marriage and children. anyway after a few years of getting sorted out i,m back to being fine again. we got talking to each other again 4 years after the split and she apologised for leaving and that she should of stuck with it till i got better. i,m now perfectly fine. we just email each other now, i did tell her that i still loved her but she went all quiet on me for a while, now we email each other every week or 2. but now shes going to get married and have a kid with her new fella. the problem is i still feel the same about her as i did when we first met. my heart feels like its been wrenched out again, i hurt everyday about the split, i cant seem to move on. ive not had a girlfriend since her and i cant see myself getting another one. ive been in love once and that was her, i cant see it happeneing again, i look at women but i dont fancy them, its as if ive been turned off to women. i,m nearly 40 now and i cant see me marrying or having kids cos of this. i find it bizarre to be still getting upset about her. why cant i move on?
ive tried keeping busy, it doesnt go away, i just got used to the pain. but when i found out she was pregnant i felt the same pain i did when she said goodbye, its awful.
ive known her for 20 years and i cant get myself to say goodbye to her and not talk to her again. am i going to suffer everyday with it? it doesnt help tho i am better i suffer with depression, i know i,m going to be single till the day i die but i guess thats a different topic. is it best to say goodbye or stay a while and see how it goes. one thing i would like to see is her wedding, shes already mentioned about wanting me there, but will seeing her in her dress make me worse, am i a gluton for punishment?
yes goodbye email you should do.Look at my case.My friend who was so close to me, could not do wothout taalking to me each day,is now mum!! i have no clue if he really will want me ,has moved on and never ever will meet me/see me..yet i hope!! in spite of evryone telling me its over..it is not the right thing to do to a woamn you really care for.