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i’m miserable

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November 18th, 2010
We’ve been dating for 8 months now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn’t and i know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I’m just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work , could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas? do i not turn him on
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Adamrpg
replied November 27th, 2010
You could try asking directly: "I've noticed we aren't having sex as often as we used to. You've said it's not me, but I'd really like to do it more and I want to know why you seem to don't. Please tell me." Put like that, I'm pretty sure the root to the problem will arise. There shouldn't be secrets between a couple, so express how frustrated and miserable the lack of sex is making you feel to him, without making it seem like it's his fault. Let him know you want full happiness for the both of you.

That's my contribution, not sure how much it's worth....
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RGion31
replied April 2nd, 2012
People do not seem to want to speak on any basis of friendliness anymore. I do not know if this is due to the new telephones these so-called "smart" phones. People I see seem to be joined at the mind with their new multifunctional cell phones. I see both men and women staring at their telephone screens. Some are texting nearly all the time. Gone seems to be the one-way (from the outside) view of a verbal communication with that person's "friend?". Younger people from 25 to 35 are so overly engaged with their telephoes, they hardly seem to realize there are other people, possibly their peers and older people that might want to say 'HI!" "How are you doing?" just to maybe strike up a friendly conversation. NOPE! Not happening any longer. People seem to be observed as self-obsessed with their virtual communication world of existence. I am older, I will admit. However, it was not that long ago when people could speak to one another to answer a question for directions or where is something in the store they happen to be both shopping at. Have we all allowed ourselves to be disinfranchised from one another of simple interpersonal communication by the spoken as opposed to the 'texted' word at that very moment? I really do not like this new world of not communicating with one another with mutual respect, kindness, and wanting to help the next person. I feel sorry for those younger people who have missed out on what I and others of my age group enjoyed growing up long before the concept of cell phones, texting, tweeting or any of these so-called advancements in techonolgy.
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phillydog
replied April 3rd, 2012
Experienced User
RGion31, I agree with you. People now days are so self absorbed its sickening. I have met some new people in the last year and while they are willing to meet for a drink, just try having a real conversation with them. They would rather text than talk to the person in front of them. Heck I have seen these people many times and they don't even know what me and my wife do for a living but ramble on and on about their own jobs, life etc. Agggg.
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