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i'm Married but in love with another woman

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Please help me, I, am having a very big problem, i'm 37 old and i'm married and I have a girl aged 3 years, have a wonderful wife and she's very beautiful love me and loves our daughter, but i don't love her In fact i'm in love with anther woman I met her through Facebook, I love her alot and she love me too, But she very good woman, she doesn't want me to get a problems between me and my wife, She told me to forget her and moved away but I can't do this, All this happened in two years, I still speak with the woman that i loved, because we didn't can move away from each other, we never get anything between us , Because this is forbidden without marriage Question I 'm tormented I wish I can live with the woman that i love without these constraints, and now Leave the option to God and to you :'(
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First Helper verne01

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replied July 22nd, 2012
You need to leave your wife because you leading her on like that is gonna mess her up in the long run. She deserves someone better then someone cheating on her with someone on Facebook.

Sooner the better.
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replied July 24th, 2012
Extremely eHealthy
Many different sorts of love, friend.
Romantic love, sexual love, love that is born out of respect, the love of a good friend, the love of duty and committment...

Only you can decide what you feel and what is important to you...

It is inevitable, throughout married life, one partner or another will fall in love with someone else and often it will be more than once...
Mostly these attachments will be nothing more than infatuations that will pass and often (temporarily) leave heartbreak in their wake...

Statistics show beyond doubt that second relationships tend not to last as long as the original relationship. This means they were mistakes - worse mistakes than the first!

First relationships are often begun when the people are too young and inexperienced and as they grow and change they forget to be tolerant and forgiving to each other, they forget to be friends and forget their good manners toward each other.
Sex tends to become routine or problematic!
Sense of humour and laughter become things of the past!

Men are often quite shallow and tend to have more time on their hands so they look around more and tend to be flattered when other women acknowledge them, pay them attention and share secrets with them.
If the man's sex life is unsatisfactory it is natural for him to find other women attractive and the more unsatisfactory his sex life is the more attractive and open to suggestion he will be...

Man was not designed for monogomy and it must be recognised it was not long ago we were being guided by smells like animals and following our bio-programme to spread our seed as far as we could. Modern life and attitudes forces us to fight nature - it is fortunate indeed that men are inherently lazy...

Lots of factors, lots of variables come together and drive people to look over that hill to check out the greenness of the grass there and it is human nature to believe it is greener whether it really is or not and consequently they want to go there and the more they cannot or should not, the more they are driven...

Mostly the grass at home is the greenest most people ever see but if they leave it behind few can ever return!

Love or infatuation is one thing - living with someone is entirely another thing! The practicalities of day-to-day living can be stressful on any relationship and the way to domestic harmony and reduced stress is friendship and compatibility - love tends to quickly disappear if these things aren't present and those things are in themselves a type of love and inducements to love...

In the final analysis: if you aren't happy and cannot be content with your current relationship then change it but I strongly suggest you do not change it using love as your excuse and you do not change it on the strength of a facebook contact - these decisions are full of danger...
The love you describe is better experienced from a distance in the traditional way of the married man or woman...

My final advice to you: regardless of who they are, how they dress or how they speak and what you think of them - everyone's excrement stinks but most would hide that fact from others!

You also must consider your daughter!
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replied December 28th, 2014
My Experience
26 years ago, I married a woman I didn't love because she got pregnant. I was actually going to breakup with her when we found out. I decided to get married because she had been in a few abusive relationships and I was concerned that she would go back to someone who might harm my child. My mother advised me to not get married but I did anyway. I am still married but have never been in love with my wife. We never say "I love you" and there is really no romance. She has caused a lot of financial problems and has destroyed the relationships I had with my brothers. She never wants to go out anywhere and basically goes to work and then comes home and watches TV. I am out of the house for work about 65 hours per week including commuting time. I do the grocery shopping because I do the cooking. I do the cleaning, dusting vacuuming, washing floors, etc. I do all the yard work, when it snows, I'm the one who is outside shoveling. My wife works 28 hours per week and does the laundry. She has caused some problems with my family at Christmas and I am at the point that I am ready to leave. I am tired of being in a marriage with someone I don't love and feel like I am being taken advantage of. Our son is grown. I make enough money to continue to pay the mortgage and other bills and also get an apartment. I recently met a woman with whom I have a lot in common. We are both artistic, I'm a musician, she's a former ballerina and currently does ballroom dancing. We like the same music. She is intelligent, has a college degree, is responsible with her money, cares about people and is very attractive. She is also 22 years younger than me. We work in the same office and for Christmas, she gave me a bottle of wine which she said is one of her favorites. I took this as a sign that she is interested in me but I'm not sure if I am reading too much into it. I keep thinking about this other woman and honestly feel that I would be much happier with her.
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replied December 28th, 2014
Extremely eHealthy

It sounds as though you have given your marriage a fair trial and have no desire to take it any further. If you genuinely want to end your marriage then by all means end it and give yourself a chance to make a new and more satisfactory and satisfying life and relationship.

I advise you most strongly to end the marriage and begin an independent life before you begin a new relationship.

Your friend in your office might make a good partner with whom you could have a happy relationship or she might not but you face enough complications without placing the burden on her shoulders of the thought she might be the reason why you ended your marriage. Depending on the prevailing circumstances that could be a responsibility that is too heavy for her to carry and it could haunt your future.

It is never a good idea to date at work and if such a relationship should go sour it can leave one or both of you without employment and income and considering the finacial responsibilities you will face, such a thing can soon lead to misery and ruin. It is probably difficult for you to see these things as possibilities just now but I can assure you many people have found that is exactly what can happen in spite of or perhaps because of misplaced optimism.

A 22 year age difference might be a problem or it might not. Such an age difference could be a barrier to a good relationship or it could be the making of it; until perhaps you are an old-age pensioner and she is still relatively young and then she might learn to resent you.

A good friend doesn't always make a good lover and partner so I suggest you go slowly and keep an open mind and if and when the time comes to decide whether the pair of you are going to enter a committed relationship you might find she is perhaps too enthusiastic and that might persuade you unwisely to hurry.

Good luck!
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