Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

I'm in love with my best friend and she's taken, my life sucks

I am a 24 year old college graduate living in New York City, and I am a virgin. It kills me every day. I've kissed a girl one time in my life. I tried all through college to get a girl to even kiss me, let alone have sex with me, but no such luck.

I'm not exactly easy on the eyes. I kind of have a very gaunt face and an acne problem which I'm sure doesn't help me. I'm 5'10 and very scrawny, like 160lbs. No matter how much I eat I can't seem to bulk up, and I'm ashamed to go to the gym and be around all the big jocks while I struggle to lift weights.

I'm in love with a girl, my best friend from college, but I'm stuck forever in the friend zone. To make matters worse, her boyfriend was my roommate for 2 years in college. They've been dating for about 3 years now.

I knew her before him, and she is the one who introduced us (she started dating him shortly after introducing us). He's become a good friend but I still resent him to this day for getting to her before me. Not that I ever had a chance. He was a volleyball star at our college, 6'3'' and in great shape, and I'm just a scrawny loser and I hate it. I don't think she ever even considered me in a sexual way, but I know she really cares about me, and she used to be very flirtatious in the beginning so I think that helped get me hooked.

Now I'm stuck living at home because I can't find a job, and he's working with great pay and just moved into his own place, and she stays with him all the time, which kills me because I go hang out there a lot, and leave alone while they sleep together.

Worst part? He's my only guy friend. I hate him because I can't try to take her from him. I don't even have an angle to try because he treats her like gold, and she is absolutely crazy about him even after 3 years.

Seeing them together makes me want to just punch him in the face, except I CAN'T, because he'd just knock me out and I'd lose both of them as friends.

I'll never get to be with the love of my life. My only friend is my worst enemy. My life sucks and is going nowhere.

I have to tell her how I feel...otherwise I might as well just give up. What should I do???
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replied April 29th, 2012
I feel for you friend. I'm in a similar predicament... I've been best friends with this girl since grade 11. I've been there for three of her breakups and spent oodles of time with her going to concerts, hockey games etc. We both went to the same college, which is where we started hanging out more and more, carpooling to school, working on group projects etc. All of our friends thought something was going on but we downplayed these rumors. Long story short, she's known about my feelings for almost three years without giving me any indication of how she was feeling), and just recently (two weeks or so ago), after not talking at all for 16 months, and then starting texting again, we had a chat at the local bar over a few pints. She basically told me that she wasn't physically attracted to me. We ended up talking in the parking lot until 2:30, and now we're apparently good friends again - go figure.
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