I am a 23 year old straight male living in California with a history of dating straight woman, typically with success. Haven't dealt with much rejection and I have normally been the one to end relationships when they went south. I have never considered, nor even had the chance to date a bisexual woman up until now.
Now in my particular heritage and race, all families are tightly linked together. You could even say we have various "clans" if that makes sense, and everyone knows everybody. You could even think of us as somewhat italian. This woman is also apart of the same heritage. So everybody knows each other.
Last year I came across this woman, who is 3 years older than me, and who happens be bisexual. I had known of her long before I actually met her, so I knew of her bisexuality.
Now here's where the problem is...
She doesn't really bother with men much. She did date men, and her only marriage was to a man, but it never went well for her and the marriage ended after the man commited suicide in 2008. It really shook her pretty badly and since 2008, she has only dealt with woman romantically.
She also informed me I'm the first man shes gotten close to since her husbands suicide in 2008. My friendship with her was pretty unexpected, and even my buddies are shocked I managed to get so close to her, as men far better looking than me have tried and failed miserably to get into this womans heart...and pants.
I suppose Its because she didn't feel threatened by me and I never wanted, nor asked for anything from her.
Now there is a woman, who she has been dating for a while (Around a year), but she is trying to get out of the relationship right now. This woman turned abusive and the relationship is taking a very ugly turn. Its very much off and on.
This woman wanted her for several years and when they finally got together, this other woman seemingly lost interest and has turned abusive.
Its pretty much a case of "Wanting what you cant have, and then not wanting it once you get it".
She confides in me, and I always tell her what I feel she needs to hear, never what she wants to hear. I told her that if she isn't getting what she needs out of this woman, then she should end it. Obviously, I had an agenda with my advice, but I didn't make my agenda known.
But she has yet to actually end it, which isn't really a big deal, as I know every day that it drags out, the more likely she is to get fed up with it and just put an end to it.
This past month or so she leans on me almost entirely and I am realizing she's likely lacking masculinity, direction and leadership in her life. Something no woman has been able to provide for her. I'm her go-to-guy for everything and anything. I would practically call myself her husband if I didn't know any better. theres not a thing this woman doesn't come to me for. I'm protector, friend and more.
Neither of us have dropped the "Love" word and I have not made a move on her, nor has she made one on me.
I am not sure how I feel about letting "my girl have a girlfriend", so to speak. I'm not insecure enough that it would be an inpossibility, but I am sure most here would warn against it. The benefits for myself are obvious, but as a man, that prideful part of myself is arguing against it.
My question is... What the hell am I supposed to do now?
I am seriously completely lost on how to take this thing further.
Should I wait until this thing with the woman is over with?