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I love her, she doesn't love me. (Page 1)

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This is a long story, i'm not sure if i'll write it out in much detail. I'll try though. First of all, i'd like to say i'm not looking for advice or anyone to feel bad for me. I just need to vent and write it all out. Maybe have someone read it through just because I need to tell someone!

Anyway, one of my best and closest friends is named Francine. She is amazing. I made the stupid mistake of falling for her. This is how it all went down...

I've known Francine for around 7-8 years. We live really far from each other, so for the most part I never got to see her. When I was a younger teenager I used to not go out at all and then as I grew up I always thought travelling for almost 3 hours to see her was just ridiculous and impossible. Recently though, i've bridged the gap and have told her that i'm happy to travel to see her. I don't care about the time it takes, all I want is to see her. It takes up an entire day just to see her for 2-3 hours. It's completely worth it though. Before I made that decision though, we only really could communicate by phone or msn/facebook etc.
Which is why I never entertained the idea of us going out. I have always had a thing for her, but because of the distance, I didn't think it would work out. But now that i've found out how easy it is to see her if I just make the trip, it started to become an idea that wasn't so stupid. I once told her that if we lived closer i'd ask her out. She seemed to like the idea. She actually said that she was considering it herself.
Earlier this year I surprised her by showing up at her work when none of her co-workers were on shift (She works at a clothes store). She was really happy and afterwards we hung outside the shopping center. She actually looked me in the eye and said that if me coming down to see her was working efficiently enough that we would go out. Throughout the next few times I saw her she started treating that conversation like the elephant in the room and it wasn't a topic that was brought up again.

I should say here that we always act like a couple. We hold hands, cuddle up, say I love you to each other all the time, have stupid couple-like phone calls and all that mushy stuff. So, obviously I thought it was going to happen. I had the best chance, right?

One sunday, I woke up really early to see her for a long time. I wanted to just hang out in the store and talk to her when no customers were around (It wasn't a busy day, so yeah). I had planned on giving her this little wooden decorative surfboard with an image of a sunset beach that had been burnt into it with a wood burner. I made it when I was in my first year of high school (By the way, i'm 19 turning 20 this year). Anytime I had gotten upset I would hold this wooden thing and it would make me feel better. I'd just stare at it. It reminded me of a simple, more happy time. So, I always thought if I ever found someone I was truly in love with, i'd give it to her to show her how much she means to me. On this morning, I had picked it up with it in mind that I was going to give it to Francine.
When I got there, I scared her. I snuck behind her back and jumped her. We were behaving like a couple as usual. She would hit me playfully and then hug me all blushing. We spent the next couple of hours laughing and hugging when customers left the view. Then I did something stupid. I brought up the issue of us going out. What she said next pretty much broke my heart.

"Look... I like having you as a friend. I don't know if you're okay with that though. I'm just in a place where i'm not wanting a relationship, I don't know if I can handle one. I wouldn't want to lose you even though I know we'll always be friends first. I just don't think it's gonna happen, okay?"

She's never had a boyfriend before. Maybe she's just worried. But I know that one day she'll meet some nice guy and go out with him and i'll just have to grin and bear it. Tell her i'm happy for her and be there when he hurts her. Nobody can appreciate her like I can. He wouldn't love her like I do.

Anyway, I don't think I said anything. I just stood there with a million thoughts running through my head. She looked a little freaked. It was about closing time, so I told her i'd let her finish up and i'd be back when she's off work. I was in shock. I felt so bad. My heart had dropped. I spent half an hour walking around a parking lot. I then found this big empty open field. I walked into the middle of it and fell to my knees. I cried a single tear. I was too overwhelmed to cry properly. It hurt. I felt horrible, didn't know what to do. I realised that I had spent more than an hour away, so I cleaned myself up, picked myself up from the dirt and walked back to see her just closing up shop. She smiled at me which just killed me. We only had an hour left to hang out before she had to go home, so I surpressed everything and just made sure she was having a good time with me. That train ride home was the worst. 2 hours alone with my thoughts. Ugh.

It's been maybe a month since that happened and i'm trying to not be in love with her anymore. I know it'll take more time and I don't necessarily want to stop loving her for a reason I can't define, but I know I should for the sake of saving our friendship. Otherwise i'm just going to destroy it because i'm such an emotional idiot. But it's so hard to let go. Anytime I think I might be close to pushing the feelings down, she does the tiniest thing and pulls me back in. I can't get out. She means so much more to me than anything I can think of. I'd do anything to just see her smile, given the chances. I don't know what to do. It's killing me.
Then there's times when she's upset but won't talk to me about what's bothering her. Those times make me want to curl up and die. I hate that there's nothing I can do to make her feel better. She means so much to me and I hate seeing her upset.

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like my whole life centers around her. I'm on the verge of living my dream life. I'm starting to make some new friends after several years of being alone. I've got alot of things on my plate to worry about, but obviously this is the story of me and her. So, yeah. I just know that we would work together. She has much more things as well, so she doesn't have much time for me. Not that it particularly worries me, because i'm finding that i'm getting less and less spare time. But sometimes when I just want to see her and I can't.. Well, that sucks. But the point of this paragraph is that we would just work so well because..... Ugh, well I dunno how to describe it. It's just the way we are together. The way we behave towards each other. It's the kind of friendship where people are amazed that we aren't together (Me included).

I know that I love her... And I probably won't ever fall out of it. It's not just a crush. It's been years coming. Just never humoured the feelings is all. But now that they're out, it hurts so much to know that she doesn't love me in the same way. I know i'd make a good boyfriend for her. Alot of things that would normally cause problems on my side in a relationship don't bother me when it's her. I feel more matured towards her. Just those little things, like I wouldn't get jealous where if it was any other girl I probably would get jealous over like a close male friend or something. You know?

Hm. I may have rambled on a bit. I hope what i've written has made sense and you get a basic understanding of what i'm trying to say. As I said at the start, I guess I just needed to vent to someone, anyone... Even if nobody reads this, it's good to just write it out. Sorry for the long post.

Thanks to anyone who read it all, if anyone. I'm just trying not to burden my friends with my pathetic story. I love this girl and can't get her off my mind. She's one of my best friends, so it's just hard to tell if it's the right thing to do by wasting my time hoping that she'll come around or if it's smarter to try and move on and be friends at best. I suppose i'm just very appreciative that she's even in my life... I just want her so bad is all.

Okay, i'll stop now. Cheers.
- Josh
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First Helper anchel1231
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Users who thank MMEggman for this post: dhvl1992  VBIDforever 

replied May 6th, 2011
it's so clear to me that you're an awesome guy! it brought tears to my eyes the way you're feeling about this girl. these are great feelings! feelings that some people have never been able to feel or receive throughout their lives..

people like you never end up alone. you've got it all.. it's just a matter of time till you find the girl you will make you forget all about the hurtful past...

hope things work out!
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replied November 20th, 2012
true feelins
same fckin situation here. 'm s deep in pain!
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replied May 6th, 2011
see im not the only one who thinks that ur awesome. i still think she is just afraid of being loved or something. and u wont end up alone. If she cant see how great u r than she doesnt deserve u and u'll find someone who does =] just give it time. ur definitely a great person who deserves someone great as well. im sorry she didnt respond the way u thought she would i know it must hurt. I know that u'll be okay though and maybe u can still be friends.
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replied May 7th, 2011
Its not you. Look, I have to admit. I have nearlyy the same problem. Okay, I dumped this guy, JB in initals, and he was always like lovving me, but i went out wit this other guy oo in initials, and jb never stopped loving meh, and when meh and oo broke up, i never stopped loving him, so its basically a triangl:(
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replied May 11th, 2011
She will come around. I know, she will. I wish she knows how you truly feel about her.
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replied May 24th, 2011
OMG , i can really feel every word you wrote , you touched me , i have story also may be somehow different from yours but the essence is the same , it is about 8 months now since she told me these worst , coldest , most tough words in life " you are good friend , i never think this way to be in relation " & i still try to get rid of this but i can't , i cried that day a lot as a baby who was got away from Mom , i still feel upset , angry , sad , confused & broken , i pass in my own life just to keep what i call ' biological survival ' & i find it so hard that i can't have deep happiness , or joy with anything in life , it is like life has been ruined & ll i do is to watch what happens & having no ability to change anything , i tried many times to get rid & i failed , i tried to convert this relation from love to friendship but i really can't , it seems impossible , everytime to see her , to speak with her , you gonna feel that love increases inside you
it is really miserable to romantic idiots like us to relate all their life to someone who does not really care , i really hate this , i really can't stand , life is so weird , bad & pessimistic
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replied May 24th, 2011
let her go..she'll miss you around and come back keep bugging her and she'll never want to see you again girls don't like annoying guys. but what you wrote was cutee
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replied May 25th, 2011
girls don't like annoying guys
then what do they want ?!
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replied May 27th, 2011
well it depends on the girl. but like someone said most girls want what they cant have. but again it really depends on the girl, we are all so different.
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replied May 29th, 2011
HONESLY, if she is the kind of girl that can have any guy wrapped around their finger, then she WILL WANT WHAT SHE CANT HAVE, thats a fact.
you will have to move on and show her you can live without her. it will kill her. believe me Smile
good luck,
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replied July 11th, 2011
It's a really sad one..Even mine story is simillar...I am Crying.....Sorry to say we are just romantic idiots..Girls are the most selfish creatures in this earth..We fools give importance to them...Girls get attracted towards good looking guys..not the one's who truly love them...Y the hell we shud give to them....
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replied April 7th, 2012
Keep the feeling like that up and you'll end up happy my friend.Love is nothing that exists in this Cruel World anymore.

Good Luck man.
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replied July 24th, 2011
You're an awesome guy!!!
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replied August 13th, 2011
I read your entire post, and all I can say is... wow. The past two years, the majority of all my guy friends have become infatuated with me. I gave them the basic speech - that I simply wanted to be friends.

Basically, your post has given me a whol new perspective. The emotional struggle that you've endured... you totally have my respect man.

I feel really quilty now... because I'm pretty sure my friend J is still "in like" with me. I made the mistake of agreeing to date him because we were so close. It did more bad than good. I realised all too late that I confused my deep trust and respect for him with "liking". So we talked and parted way romantically, but he still has that lingering gaze.

It used to kind of confuse me at how eager he was to help me whenever I need it - or how captivated he always seemed when I spoke.

To make it worse - before, during, and after dating him my friend R has been trying to persuade me to go out with him. He's not really annoying per se, because he only brings it up every few months. But it's obvious he's in love with me. He told me I was perfect in his eyes and I almost died because I knew that I couldn't return his feelings. But I imagine that he was and is hurting like you are about your girl.

There's really no way to explain it - it's not that I don't trust and respect and adore R and J... it's just that deep down... in my gut I know. I know I don't return their feelings. I have no reason not to; J was a great boyfriend and I'm sure R would be as well - I just... don't.

It's not really the best explanation of the other side of your experience. Just know that you do hold a special place in her heart, even if it's not the exact place that you want.

I never realised that any of my guy friends who ended up liking me experienced any of these feelings... thank-you for the new perspective. So just try to move on I guess. Based on your whole post - you sound like a really amazing guy who deserves someone who can return their feelings. Good luck man. Wink
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replied August 13th, 2011
Wow I haven't visited this site in so long.
I just read through all the comments, i'm gonna reply to this last post and hopefully anyone else who comes across this will read this.

Thanks to the girl i'm replying to.

Ages back, dunno how long exactly, but AGES ago, I broke it all to her. She knew. She admitted to leading me along and then thought it was fitting to tell me that "I had no chance whatsoever". That's such a lie. I had the best chance out of anyone with her.
Anyway, i'm the kind of guy who when I know it's over, i'll accept it and i'll move on. I'll always have a thing for her, but it's no biggy. I got over it pretty quick. Not to say it didn't mean anything, i've just been beat down before and I know what to do to get over things like that. I guess i'm lucky that all that hurt has made me strong, but only because i'm through it all now. I can't wait for the next girl to mess with my head!
Anyway, thanks to everyone whose left comments. I read them all. You're all amazing people.

If anyone who reads this needs someone to talk to or to get tips on how to get through things then send me a message and i'll be more than happy to chat with you.

Oh and if anyone's wondering, i'm still friends with the girl. We're all good.
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replied April 7th, 2012
You are a strong man my brother.Such an incident has shattered me. I want to come up but i can't.Don't know if I'll ever be able to. BUT ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND ALL THE READERS " WHAT DOESN'T KILL U MAKES U STRONGER.
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replied April 7th, 2012
Even you gave me a whole new perspective of thinking.


Can't thank you enough for that.


Thank You.
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replied November 15th, 2011
My story
@MMEggman: your story makes me think of my own story..and I am going through it. It is slightly different maybe. You got over the girl in maybe some months..I am still in love even after 3 years and I tried like hell just to get close to her.I feel like sharing it here..
Our relationship started in a very unusual way( for many people it is unusual)..it was online. I did not see her at first..I saw her paintings in an online community.At that time i was living in Canada ( I am actually Indian) finishing my study.The day i first saw her paintings it hit my heart straight. I felt the girl who painted it knows me. I can not explain the reason why I felt so.I started looking for her picture and I found it. An amazing angel like face with eyes full of deep pain.Something in her eyes that made me look into her soul. I started trying to contact her. She was in facebook. I added her and slowly we started talking. To my utter surprise, I slowly discovered I was very right about her. She was speaking my soul.I was overwhelmed. But she was still not that interested in me and i was already spending sleepless nights. One day , I gathered some courage and told her about my feelings and very expected way she rejected saying it is only online and she does not know me and also she loved someone etc etc. I knew it.But we kept talking anyway. I started to be close to her. We were like two people with same heart. Her tastes for music affected me..she used to send me songs through messages and I felt like those songs can talk to me alone. She did not need to talk to me.I started listening to Jazz ..she showed me a whole new world of music of jazz, piano..Piano was something I always wanted to learn and she somehow developed my interest for it. There were many little things..our views about life..etc. they started to match. I was sometimes thrilled.We became really close and she gave me her mobile number. We started talking over phone. Just to give the idea of distance between us- I lived in Canada and she lived in a country called Georgia in East Europe.
After 6 7 months of calling, texting I decided to meet her.And I did it.I planned a journey for one month and I bought tickets , saved some money I collected from my internship and I left for Georgia. It was a 5 days vacation.I went to a compeletly unknown country with totally unknown language to meet her.At last we met. And we felt like we have known each other for ages. Next few days we spent the times like fairytale. Playing piano, dancing ..singing 'halleluja' or some Yann Tiersenn music which both loved. I was in a dream untill i told her again about my feelings. She said again, she can not love me becoz of her current boyfriend. Although the relationship was already sour with him, since he was sick at that time she can not leave him.It tore my heart..The night before the day I had to return I laid on my hotel room crying like a child..I felt I was reduced to dust.Anyway I lfet Georgia with a very heavy heart. But the story did not end.
I came back to Canada and again we started talking. The relationship between us had become deeper already. It was almost impossible for use to part.And sometimes i used to feel this terrible pain in my chest..it would make just writhe in pain on my bed as if I am burning myself.I would lay on my bed for days in depression.Before leaving Georgia she gave a bunch of photo papers and those were my memories. I kept them as it was wrapped in a rose printed packet(which she gave me)..I used to open it sometimes and feel the air inside, i could feel the smell of her place..her hair..I saved it all in my mind..in my soul.We kept talking and after sometime I got a job.When I was in job, she started showing some extra attention to me or so I felt. I was getting hopeful.But I was growing restless and impatient to meet her.That affected my work.I could feel that I can not live in Canada anymore because I wanted to be with her.One day she broke up with her boy friend, as he was a drunk and abusive person.And the day before I lost my job.
Again I started looking for a job in Canada. SOmetimes I used to take up the issue of being together with her and she always said, she does not believe in internet relationship and because of this distance its not possible.For almost 4 5 months I looked for job and I failed becoz if economic problems.I left Canada and came back to India. Now I decided that I will live in Europe to be close to her.I got a job at last in Czech Republic and went there. Worked there for 2 months but the visa process was not working for me so I now decided I will live in Georgia.I had to leave Czech republic and came Georgia some days ago.Till now its been more than 2 years. Last sunday I went to see her for the first time after one year. And what she said? She said, she never loved me because it is impossible. My culture, religion all are so different that her family will not accept it.And she never felt it that way for me.Instead she is planning to live in Norway so that she can work like an artist. It shattered me completely.I told her we have to end this pseudo friendship kind of relation which she wanted to keep for some strange reason.I decided to stop.When I was returning from her place in a bus..the memories of my past days with her were reeling over my mind.I could not cry this time because I have felt so much pain that it was impossible to cry.It was actually impossible to bring anything out of my face or body.All the time i was in bus, i was like a stone.Sitting and staring outside vacantly..shocked.I am still in Georgia trying to survive..hopefully I will get over this pain one day.
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replied November 15th, 2011
I'm so sorry for that story. I think the best course of action for you would be to cut off communication with her as she clearly is a poison affecting you. You can't get over her if you talk to her and she sadly doesn't feel the same way for you. It's a tragic thing having to move on, but you must lock down and push through her. Just tell yourself it'll never happen and you'll live. It'll take time, but trust me, you need to do that for yourself.
You have a good heart, shame she doesn't see that. Her loss.
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replied November 15th, 2011
Thanks for the reply.Yes, I know..I have to move on and forget everything.Even though she does not want to lose me but I have to.She effected me in a very deep level..almost spiritual level. It changed my tastes, my thinking..the fact that I love a complete different Georgian culture because of her..so it will not be a easy thing to forget her.But I have to..Right now , every now and then when I see how deep our connection was, it gives me immense pain..but its all done and finished.I have to be strong. But somehow deep down inside me, i have lost faith in love.
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replied April 7th, 2012
Yes brother.Love is just a hollow word people believe to be true.I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor might help u brother.
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replied April 7th, 2012
My story is much the same except that there are a lot a people to support in her bad times and I've got none.And we never actually spent so much as an hour together.But man believe me your love is true and she will one day or the other come to you to ask for your shoulder.

All The Best Man.You Have My Prayers With You.

Adhiraj.(Her name is Prerna)
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replied November 24th, 2011
im going true something right now... i fell for this girl. i have meet her this year at first i dint have feelings for her. shes not the type of girl that you would usually be attracted to. After sometime i started to like her. i knew that she would be an amazing gf because i already know what kind of girl i want to be with. She fit perfectly into my statistics of what i needed. Later as time pass i started to feel in love with her. The thing is she has a bf and they been dating for 2 years now. I know very well i cant be falling for her, but i cant help it! shes just amazing! to me shes an angel sent from god. She is like the best girl you will ever meet. She would love to be with me and i know she loves me but not the same way i love her. i know i have to move on i just dont know how if i see her like everyday and were talking like every day and im thinking of her once or twice a day.
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replied December 11th, 2011
I am in the exact same spot as many of ya'll are, I told her how I really felt for her, because she pretty much forced me to tell her. My story is quite lengthy too, but it starts off like this; we're friends who everyone questions why we aren't going out, the thing is she had a boyfriend and I respected that that my intentions were to just be friends with her, I gave up on the idea that she and I could ever have something because of her bf, but here's where the real problem begins. I am in this special program class where everyone there is there for a special purpose ours; diesel mechanics, so everyone in there is pretty much like a brother to each other, except for this guy who for some reason couldn't stand to see me happy with her, he likes this other girl, but I guess she rejected him so, what's the first thing he does? He runs to the girl I was talking to; why couldn't he just solve his problems on his own?? he knew that I loved her everyone in class did. I knew they were friends and all, but she had always told me how she preferred me over him, well that changed, because he just got closer and closer to her; he completely changed her way of thinking . I tried to tell her that what she was doing of hanging around with him was wrong because she had her boyfriend, but she said would always say that he was just a friend. She often told me how she knew I was a better person than he was yet she didn't distance herself from him because they were good friends as well just as not as close as we were. It's been a month since I don't talk to her but I see her around everyday she still gives me that look like saying "I miss you" yet she doesn't dare to talk to me, she now broke up with her boyfriend, and from what I see she's quite unhappy not only because she broke up with him idk I really don't know what's up with her. I talked to her friend and she told me how she knew we didn't talk anymore, and I told her that I missed her, and what does her friend tell me? That she misses me as well. Now she's been telling me to go up to her and talk to her, but I'm not quite sure because from what I see she doesn't want to talk to me ever again. What should I do should I go and listen to her friend and talk to her again. or should I just leave her alone? I really do miss her. She was my best friend, my companion, and the only person who brought laughter to my face every single day no matter what.
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replied January 9th, 2012
Hey man,

I am going through the same thing.

The time i thought was right ; some nice guy already came along and..nw..i am in Pain..every single day..

I so dont want to see her hurt at all. .. but i wonder if it matters to her..

blueberry
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replied February 1st, 2012
My situation is similar my best friend for 10 years has never had a relationship either and I decided that I would tell her how I felt about her... I'm madly I'm love with her, after we talked she told me we would be nothing but best friends she promised me that we'd be best friends
No matter what buy I don't know just how much promises a girl can keep, it went on and she eventually decided to sy that she was going to ignore me for 2 weeks or so but it's been 5 weeks and I can't take it anymore, the thought if her steals my sleep and invades my dreams if I fall asleep my pillows are moist when I wake up and I'm falling bak into my..."depression" I say it with quotes because it's more of an insanity I sometimes even laugh myself to sleep and laugh in my sleep at my foolishness of even talking to her about love in the first place. I learned through experience that it's better to not tell anyone how you feel and hide behind the maks of darkness I like to call my personality, nobody knows me not even my best friends, they know my mask but they can't see the child curled up in the dark corner screaming and laughing at his own worthless pain
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replied February 7th, 2012
I too find myself in a similar situation. At 42 I like to believe I may have the benefit of experience and an acceptance of life's quirks.
My advice would be don't put all your eggs in that one basket.
I too have fallen for someone quite completely. I cannot escape. On the upside, it has brought out of me the very best I have. It is truly wonderful to know that I am effortlessly capable of loving someone far beyond my own needs. I really do "see" her. Making those right decisions at the right times that she may be happy, offers a sense of fulfilment that I simply didn't recognise in other relationships.
The trouble is, she does not feel the same. In fact given her flighty erratic nature I am not even sure she is capable of, or wants the same.
We too, have an a habit of spending an awful lot of time together.
I know that I may well be possible of continuing like this infinitum?
But should you?
I am not sure any relationship works on a true 50/50 basis. But there is a magic that can only exist when two people commit.
There are so many emotional perils in long term one-sided heart giving. Including; bitterness, a sense of betrayal (if the other party finds in someone else), complacency and even scorn may exist if the other becomes comfortable with your offering.

Sadly, it is my experience that you cannot make a loving, fulfilling, sexual, etc partnership ship work from the love of just one heart.
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replied February 13th, 2012
Hello

found myself in the same boat as u people. I have fallen for her but she won't love me back. I used to bug her a lot with calls and txt messages, ask her out etc. She would come along when the time seemed right and we had good times. Wanna keepit brief. I wanted more of her time..I sensed she didn't like it. What do u do then? Well, u'd better stop being her pain. Did that, guess what-good God has his ways and brings her around. After chosen silence between us her car broke down and she called me to help her out. Picking her up from the local mechanic's she asked me out-then I pulled it: I said no, I couldn't that weekend, had some place else to go coz I had put her on the backburner. She was huffed alright. After all, still none of her love in sight, but guys, enjoy that very all u can give, accept it, it's part of life, good for the learning curve, girls are awesome and there is a God, truely. There's one day I was down, depressed, broke with love and all. I then wished I could talk to her-phone went off and I expected a work call until I spotted her name on the display, picked up and after I was the happiest man in the universe. It all happened within 2months I guess, all too quickly. I will not stop loving her any time soon and I won't fight it. Way too hard fighting yourself so I accept it and channel it into my art or music or daily routine taking advantage of it. It's awesome to be brimming with love like a torch and the right heart for sure will pick it up.
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replied February 18th, 2012
Ive seen women break men all around me my entire life. My parents divorce at my early age taught me to keep my guard up, to never let someone in and to never invest in a relationship so that I couldn't get hurt and to be able to walk away from anyone. Sad really, I've missed out on women that were ailing to go the mile for me but I was too guarded to let them in. Long ago I was introduced to someone that shook me to my core everytime she looked at me. After all this time she still gives me the same look and it has the same effect. I had no problem telling her all of what I was feeling (see post, she broke my heart when I offered it to her) it was liberating for me to let someone in with all my heart and soul. Sadly I was blind to the fact that her feelings were for someone else. Now I've been rejected by girls, the can I get your number, would you like to go out Friday night, those types of rejection but not like this. This hurts as if someone has died and ill never see them again. Part of me will always love her but the other parts are letting it ALL go in an effort to regain myself back again. I know her all to well but at the same time we are worlds apart. I hope those worlds align somehow in the future and we can finally be together again. We are not taking anymore by phone but do see eachother in passing. It kills me to see her. I know it kills her to see me. The moments we shared, the looks into oneanothers eyes, we didn't have to say anything we just both knew. She is resistant bc of her past relationships and losses in her life to the point she won't let someone close to her heart for fear of losing them. I fight myself everyday from contacting her bc it would only look as if I'm holding on to something she doesn't want. That in itself hurts bc of what we have aside of anykind of love for another. I'm so hurt and lost that I'm worried I'll go back to my ways of being too guarded just the same. I would be with her forever without a single thought of anyone else and I'm ok with that. She claims relationships make you miss out on other people. She's in a nowhere relationship and she's letting me pass her by, that tells me a lot. I say bull. If you really live someone with all your heart, no one else matters. Your story and others let me know that I'm not the only one. Does the hurt go away? Did she ever see you as anything more than friends? Time will only tell if she realizes what she let walk away. Women get scared when a man tells them their true feelings for them but yet women will chase a man to the ends of the earth when he won't. Some are worth keeping and some we have to let go of. I wish it wasn't her that did this to me I really do. It's going to effect everything between us now and I feel as if its my fault but at the same time its her loss. She's going to go thru life with an endless string of men that see only her looks and use her for her body. I want to heal the broken soul within her.
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replied March 8th, 2012
This may happen to anyone at anytime
This may happen to anyone at anytime. It just happened to me and the hurting is rough. I was the kind of guy who would never allow myself to become emotionally involved with women. I went through MANY women when I was single hurting many of them who thought I was going to marry them. Now I know how they felt when I told them I didn't feel the same. I'm married now with a family and am mostly happy.
The woman who rejected me has been a friend for years. An unfortunate event took place in my life for which I asked for her support. I had been drinking to ease my pain when I told her I was in love with her. It had been brewing in me for quite some time. I had never intended to tell her because I felt it would not work. I actually thought that she could take my pain away. She told me she feels nothing for me and never would have those feelings for me. I feel OK with that and may now try to get over her. Only problem is that I think she may have been the love of my life. I have NEVER felt this way about a woman. Or is it that a woman has never rejected my love before?
I CANNOT shake this feeling of impending doom and the butterflys in my stomach are rampant. I truly DID NOT think this could happen to me. Women have a way of getting into your head without knowing what they are doing. Men have a way of letting them in without realizing what has happened.
When I let myself think about her it feels just so FREAKIN good and what may have been is hard to take.

It may have been better for me to level with her right away, but it kinda crept up on me to a point where I was afraid she would say no, so I kept on with it.

Your not alone my friend.
My 2 cents= Nip it off at the butt next time . . .
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replied April 17th, 2012
Hi josh,
thanks for the awesome post and honestly....it sums up my entire life with someone the past 5 months. same situation for me and my best friend. i fell in love....would do anything for her. but she didn't love me. and after what seemed like we would be really good couple....she went after a guy who played football and smoked pot. and i got so attached with helping her, as she used me. she kept asking me for advice with what to do with her relationship. now today, we aren't even really friends after i got so involved. we went from best friends who knew EVERYTHING about each to pretty much stranger's now...and i can relate to so much about that besides the age, and she lives only about 15 minutes away from me, not around 3 hours. still...i feel your pain my friend...and it sucks so very much...but i think you should move on...words sting, but trust me it'd be for the better...your not alone. it happens to a lot of good guys, and then girls always ask were the nice guys are....hello....they're in the friend zone...lol..well good luck with you and every guy or gal that something like this has happened to....love sucks for sure. unless your receiving it back.
Yours also in pain,
Josh
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