I have a beautiful son whom I love more than anything. My situation is that, I finally got the guts and the want to break up with his father a couple months ago because I was tired of being controlled, called names, and told that the relationship was worthless and that we shouldn't be together every single time we would get into a fight(should have been argument). He was never supportive and always had a negative attitude, never paid attention to me or my son because of video games, he would always have his friends over, etc. He is almost 25 years old and is one of the most immature people i have ever met. I met him when he was 19 and he is no different now. I was never allowed to help make major decisions, even though he told me my though mattered which it did not, I just felt helpless for my son. His father had been kind of a dead beat my son's whole life until last August when he finally got a decent job. Anyways, we were living in a house together since last july, and i paid for almost EVERYTHING. He just has no motivation. I left him late January and felt no remorse because i knew it was the right thing to do for me and my son. He begged for me back and even bought an engagement ring because he thought thats what i wanted(which it was not). he told me that he was going to change and everything. i never gave him that chance because i have been giving him 6 years of chances. well, i will get right to the point, i just need someone to understand me and where i am coming from, but he got with this girl that i CANNOT stand because she is also a deadbeat to her children, and on drugs. they became official two days after they got together, then she moved into the house that my son and i lived in with his father, all within less than a week. Once all this happened, first of all, i became guilty for now feeling like i treated him bad for leaving(which i did not), second of all, she, for no reason threatened to "kick my a**", she is that kind of person, third of all, he has been calling me horrible names, just because he said i hurt him, which brings me to saying that i feel worthless. i never meant to hurt him but now i have all of this pain from feeling like i never meant anything, like our love never existed, and upset that he would talk to me like that and even let her talk to me like that, and i am just so disgusted that he would do this in a matter of days, when the day before and after they had hooked up he was still begging me to come back to him. i am sad at how he is handling this and know that i did the right thing, but need to believe it. my mom has been telling me that i shouldnt be upset over him and that i need to realize that he is intentionally trying to make me feel guilty for what i have done. i know that this is so much to read, but no one can understand me, and cant keep feeling like this. how do i get over something like this? is there any thing or any tips that can help me?
Keep focusing on you and your son and doing nice things together and sharing new happy memories. Your ex sounds like a loser as does his new GF. Are you allowing your son to be around her? I would be worried about that. Im at the brink of ending my 'bad' relationship with my daughter's father and think you are very brave making that move, and reading that people get the courage to do that is helping me. Dont look back, and harden up to your ex. He didnt consider you for all the years so dont give him any of your compassion. Its his fault you split up, if he had treated you right you wouldnt have left him. Let them get on with it and just have lovely times with your son and a lovely christmas. xx