I just want to rip my hair out!! Posted: 04-06-08 13:45pm
Have you ever had one of those friends
that think they are better than you and
never hesitate to tell you in so many
little ways.
Well I have this friend who everytime I
talk to her says that all teenagers should
have their legs sewn shut til they reach
the age of 21 so they can't have kids(her
reasoning is that teens cannot possibly be
good mothers)I guess she forgets that I
got pregnant at 16,gave birth at 17 and am
now 19.So really she either completely
forgot or she thinks I am a horrible
mother.Another thing she says is that
natives are not reliable and that I should
never trust a native.Well I personally am
not native,but my boyfriend is and
therefore my son is as well,so this really
ticks me off because not only should my
son not have been born in her eyes,he also
is now unreliable and untrustworthy,just
because he is part metis.
She frustrates me to the point where I
just want to scream at her,but I just
ignore what she says and try to look past
all that to the qualities that made us
friends in the beginning.It's getting
harder to do that though and I'm thinking
I should just cut ties with her and try to
remember the good times.
There have been times though that she has
made me question myself,made me wonder if
I really am a bad mother and I hate that.I
am not a bad mother,I am just a young
mother.
Anyways,thanks for letting me vent it
out.I feel a bit better now
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Tmddyan
Moderator
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 4349 Location: post falls, id usa
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Posted: 04-07-08 17:08pm
oh yes, i feel like that quite often.I
dont let it get to me. Im sure that you
are a very good mother. if i were you id
say to her. "you know what? I wish i were
as perfect as you think you are!"
let her know that you love your son and
you dont really care what she think---i
think that a person who thinks that they
are better than you is not worht having
as a friend.
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1773 Location: , KS USA
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Posted: 04-08-08 09:22am
LOL I know just how you feel! I have mom
just like that...well, not maybe just
like, but she makes me feel like I am
ranks below her. If she comes over, my
house just couldn't be clean enough for
her and all I do is take care of my 6
kids, sometimes I just feel like a frumpy
mom of 6 with no life compared to her.
She never admits to having marital
problems and always talks about how
wonderful her husband is like her life
there is just dreamy and wonderful. The
condescension just eats me up. But I try
not to think about it and have a good
time. I have often thought up cutting
ties, even though that would be cutting
off my only actual female friendships.
I think we just need to remember that
these people who seem so well off have
their own troubles that we could just as
easily give them trouble about if we knew
them. Actually you kinda have to pity
them for their lack of social grace and
stupidity for not knowing how much they
are actually not saying the right things.
And Dyan is right, if you are constantly
hurt, maybe you need to either tell her
how it hurts you or take a break from her.
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sweet_mom
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Oct 2007 Posts: 153 Location: , Canada
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Posted: 04-20-08 10:06am
thanks guys,
I actually did take a small break from her
and decided to put all those comments in
the past.We actually spent some time
together the other day and none of those
types of comments came up.I'm just going
to take it day by day and if she says
anything again I will tell her how I feel
about these comments and let her decide if
she wants the friendship to continue.
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StacyHoll
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 329
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Posted: 04-20-08 10:23am
IS SHE MOTHER TERESA!?!! What a friend..
Sorry to hear that because realistically
you're not even 21 now. I bet you have a
beautiful child, and for her to
generialize one race.. Thats horrible.
Could she be jealous of you? How old is
this friend? If she really is a true
friend. Have you ever mentioned to her the
sadness shes causing you? I would stand up
for myself if I was you. You sound like
such a nice person. Just to let it go and
focus on the positives. You handelled the
situation very well
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sweet_mom
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Oct 2007 Posts: 153 Location: , Canada
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Posted: 05-07-08 23:12pm
she is only 22 herself,so she is not too
much older than I am.
I don't think she's jealous of me,we're
pretty much equal in most aspects of our
lifes.
I've never actually said anything about
how I feel when she says these things,I
usually just let ignorant comments go in
one ear and out the other.Usually anyway.
There are some comments that stick though
and I will usually just internalize
them,which is not the best thing to do I
know but that is just how I deal with a
lot of things.I internalize and then I
have entire conversations with myself(I'm
not crazy)working out my frustrations,I'll
rationalize with myself on why she might
have said some things and then I tell
myself that I am not who she's talking
about,because I know myself and I know
that I am not a young silly girl who's
going to end up with tons of kids and no
father to help,living on welfare and other
hand outs.My boyfriend and I are happy
together,we have our problems and we work
them out just like other people.
