i just want to book me an appointment....

i feel like noone get's me and my family
are always there for me
but i won't tell them what's going on with me.

My partner seriously has no filter.
he doesnt understand what im going through
when i do tell him he ignores me.

Whats happening is my sister just came out of a car accident
and the one that was driving died, she was my cousin.
my cousin's home was like my runaway home. she took
care of me and always made sure i was alright.

My dad is dying infront of me and my family
and he shouldnt be.
I carnt picture life without him.

And all this other stuff, everyone always comes up to me for advice
and all i say is "book an appointment for a counceller, it will help you feel better"
but really, i just want to book me an appointment.

My family look at me like "she's so strong'
My partner looks at me like "get over it"

Which one should i listen to ?