I'm surprised to say can very well relate to your torment, Sprink. And I'd be even more surprised if you're as bad off as I am!
To start off, I'm 17, and I use to be in a paradise I duly took for granted up north in Virginia. I had the best friends one could ever ask for, knowing most from all the way back in second grade. I attended a blue-ribbon school there, in the confines of which I made myself quite well-liked! Then, something which I hold as one of the darkest chapters in my life was imposed, quite forcefully, onto me: Moving down to Florida.
This state has its share of magnificence and beauty, though many shortcomings. The school (to remain unnamed) I came to, mid-freshman year, wrought a horrible change over what I was accustomed to. I was in the proud 10% or so of Caucasian students in the overcrowded mess, and around me were drugs and fights and overly-berated, (and hence) disinterested teachers. I managed to quickly round up a group of friends that were, for all intents and purposes, not the best people to befriend. Nevertheless, I relocated to another school the following year where I made a larger, and much better circle of friends which was once again torn down last minute as I came to THIS, third and final school, which stands over packed far more than the latter-two put together.
...
You might ask yourself what all that had to do with my initial narrative. Well, fellow victim of academic anguish, there wouldn't really be a narrative without it. =P For it all culminates to the fact that now, I've abandoned much of my interest in grades, and simply want to leave. I haven't the means nor energy to make friends or cope with it anymore (or so my young, foolish heart tells me) ontop of other problems, and from the beginning I'd decided to abandon my effort in it all. I use to look somewhat forward to school. Now I hate it. It and all my classes.
This all flawlessly reflects in my straight F average.
Which, utterly outcasts me in my family of overachievers. =P My parents, both boasting PhD's, had very high hopes for me. Now, I am treated like an abominable mutt in a kennel of pedigree poodles, and the only thing that comes out of my mom's mouth at the smallest chance to utter anything at all, is a quite irritating noise I've learned to drown out, but that I know pertains to my awful grades and me flunking out a year before I graduate.
I too want to get a job (great time, with the economy and all - and with Florida being one of the hardest-hit states of the recession), so that next year I can only have four classes before going to work. I also want to get my driver's license, so I can drive home whenever I jump the school fence, not roam the streets like a nitwit (my replacement for the censors).
*Sigh.* Well! I hope that, in some little way helps, Sprink. =]
I don't have any advice, at least not any I'm confident enough to give you... I doubt you're in as deep as I am due to your one-year advantage, and thus still somewhat ample opportunity to adapt. I also do not recommend dealing with it like I am, should your circumstances entice you to it. The key, for me at least, is to find joy in small things, or what you have - not sulk about what you don't. Listening to upbeat music helps whenever I feel down, too. Beyond that I can offer very little else, my good friend - very little besides praying for your happiness, and relating to your (I assure you) temporary despair.
