Medical Questions > Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum

I just had a baby and my boyfriend wont stop smoking weed

Relationships
Am I just being selfish
JUST VENTING.
Does he not love me anymore or is he jus...
Relationships and Marriage
Will He Leave Her? Or Am I Just Being Na...
Am I just being naive about love?
I think my boyfriend is manipulating me;...
Related Topics
Picking at nose and anxiety
Just lost virginity
could i be pregrant just after my period...
December 6th, 2009
ok so I moved 1000 miles away from all my friends and family so I could live with my boyfriend while he was in school.... during that time he talked me into getting off my birth control and within one month i became pregnant.... Only a few days after the positive pregnancy test he got arrested for drug possession, which was a surprise to me because he stopped doing drugs, he explained to me that he forgot that he hid those pills in his car and I believed him. Over the months as my belly grew bigger and bigger i started seeing less and less of my boyfriend. Every night He was "helping his friends with something" or "working on his car" Next thing I know he wasnt coming home till midnight, 1, 2, or even 3 in the morning. MIND-YOU Im pregnant 1000 miles away from ANY friends or family, basically sat @ home bored out of my fricken mind. I was slowly going broke paying my car payments with my savings and unable to get a job because I was pregnant. ten full months pass and I have out beautiful baby boy. Then a month later my boyfriend came home and told me that he had been doing pills the last year and a half! It turned my world upside down. We had to pack up and move back home so he could stop. Well now that we're here he stopped doing pills but he smokes weed several times a day... I FRICKEN HATE IT! @ first he tried to hide it from me and lied about it, but after the 3rd time i caught him he basically told me to get over it. I'v tried every argument I can think of to try to get him to stop, but he straight up told me to my face that its not gunna happen. I'v given up so much for him, and would do anything 4 him, but I cant make myself be ok with him smoking. Iv avoided weed my whole life and now i dont have a choice but to put up with it. He says it calms his nerves and he doesnt do it to get high but everytime hes with his friends my blood starts boiling because I kno hes doing it, and I can smell it on him... it stinks sooo bad. What should I do? I feel like if he loves me like he says he does he would stop smoking it because 1. Its the ONLY thing we fight about 2. He sees how upset, stressed, and depressed it makes me 3. I do not want our baby growing up around it and 4. iv given up so much for him and hes put me through so much already. I dont want to control him but iv tried so hard to get over my hate of weed but i cant change my feelings, i just really hope he doesnt ruin our family
Did you find this post helpful?
|
W0LF
replied December 6th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
1. Do you really need more than this to fight about? It's engaged in illegal drug abuse and has had addiction issues to more dangerous drugs. What behavior is he going to have to redeems that? Odds are there are real problems in the relationship but they seem so insignificant when you realize your boyfriend is absolute dead weight.
2. The fact that seeing you miserable hasn't stopped him yet is a clear sign that he will be seeing it for as long as you stay with him.
3. Then remove your baby from his presence. If you stay with him your child's primary role model will be a junkie
4. What do you mean you don't want to control him? He's a drug addict and you're telling him to stop. It's not like drugs ruined the great guy you fell in love with. This is who he is, it's the man he was when you fell in love with him. Rather than addressing things going wrong in his relationship he puts crap in his body to ignore it. If you stay with him you will continue to give up more and more and more. You have to understand on some level that this is a dead end in your life. Face up to the bad decisions that were made here and correct them before things get worse.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
horsesarereal
replied December 9th, 2009
i think if he is recreationally using marijuana then give it time to sink in. my husband smokes marijuana because he has problems sleeping and also suffers from social anxiety at first i thought he was just a "pothead". but over time i came to know the real term of pothead. there are people who do nothing but sit around all day and smoke pot. then there are the people who use it recreationally or for medical reasons. as i came to notice my husband was a much more motivated person and easier to get to go to large events and family affairs. give it time its not as bad as you think. talk to him more about it. you have a beautiful family now. you have bigger fish to fry.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
User Profile
MandeeMoo
replied December 13th, 2009
Experienced User
my partner smokes. we have a little boy. he refuses to let himsee anything bout it (our little boy is only 8 mnths) i was annoyed when i found out coz before my parnter i was with a dick who who a pot head, he didnt work an ended up selling our stuff to support him self, so i left him.
my partner now does it coz of a few reasons. 1- his so stressed with everything going on in his life. 2- it relaxes him before he goes to bed and 3 coz if he dosnt his super hyper,

so mab just sit down an talk to the boy bout it, dont forget you have a baby to think bout who prob needs his dad an if you an his dad can work something out that would be best, coz you didnt move away from everyone just for the sake of it, i moved from my family and friends, a 6 hour flight away. and if you sit down an talk an he gives you god enough reasons for doing what his doing an for what he HAD been doing, then try an fix it. it could be alot of things, one of the friends his staying at at all hours could be pushing it on him, thats why you need to talk to him.
BUT if he says something like i do it coz its fun, or i coz its cool or anything like that, kick his ass to the curb. hope this helps
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Sign up for FREE weekly health tips!
... Saving
Ask a doctor