HELP! I have fallen in Love with a woman who cannot make me happy.
I have spent the last 9 years getting over my divorce to a woman who hated men (although I didnt experience this until later in our marriage.) It has been a hard and lonely road. This past May, I met somebody who was willing to give her whole soul to me, even after only knowing me for 2 days, she spent the time necessary for me to heal after I had had gallbladder surgery. She fell head over heals with me, and has been a VERY giving person.
There are 2 problems. First and foremost, she has pushed me too far into pursuing a perminate relationship, when I have told her I am not ready; and our sex life is well lets just say boring.
2 days before my birthday I broke it off with her because she pushed me too far on the commitment thing. I want a commitment, dont get me wrong, I just cant take one right now. I want to work up to it. I want a healthy relationship, not one built on "spur of the moment" decisions. Our sex life is unhealthy because she has had one heck of a abusive past and I am not able to work around it without her help. She keeps finding excuses not to - although she is seeing a therapist because I asked her to. This will take years to get her to a point where she feels more comfortable about things, and I am getting too old to wait.
I care about this woman VERY MUCH! I do truly Love her! people tell me to find somebody else, but I am poor, and disabled. She has no problem with this. I want to be happy! I am afraid if I continue this relationship and ask her back, I will not be happy. I am equally as afraid to find someone else, because I may not find anybody as tolerant.
Why can't you two just be friends, without the sex of course? Your actions are confusing each other as to what you need verses what you want. She gave you her "soul" in 2 days? She's to fragile for a serious relationship and you are confused with the sex and the lavish attention she is showering you with. Both of you need to give each other some space and time to refocus.