The otherday i had a cadet christmas meal and for the past few days my mum has been blaming me for stuff i didn't do and on the day of the meal she tells me that im not allowed to go any more(even thought it was already payed for and all i needed was for her to let me go)because of my behaviour, and as you would be i wass really annoyed, but still trying to make her let me go, in the end we had a masive argument and i said i was leaving(i only ended up going round a friends for a few hours)but when i did go home after 9 hours she didn't say a word to me, and did't even think to go looking for me (for all she knew i could have been dead)and just now i went on facebook and saw a load of pictures from the meal and it had just made me really deperesed as i had been looking forward to it for nearly a year now and sometimes i just want to kill them or myself
Can you see how frustration can lead to aggression? There is never any need for violence...ever. Violence and war is the lowest form of human behaviour. You should start reading books on Transcending. You'd be surprised how far deep inside youself you can reach to find the authentic person you really are. This will enable you to bring out the best in yourself. Chances are, your parents are frustrated, too. However, by helping yourself, they may start to notice a change in you - a new level of maturity and growth. In no time, you'll have offspring of your own and will remember the wisdom of the ages you read when you were younger.
I'm so sorry that your mother is so controlling and I'd feel exactly the same way in your situation.
It goes without saying but just in case, I'll be direct--it's okay to be sad and upset. Just know that emotions like these are REACTIVE/PASSIVE, not active. Be sad and angry about their actions and the consequences of those actions, but not AT them. Be sad and angry that your life isn't where it needs to be right now, but don't just be sad and angry at yourself.
Death is never the answer--the death of you or killing your parents, although I'm sure most of us want to at least once in our lives
Give yourself some time to let it all out and feel sad/upset, but then pick yourself and try to keep going! Eventually you won't live with them and you can live the life you want, but in the meantime you're doing your best with the cards you were dealt, and that's the most anyone can ever ask of you.
Good luck, and feel free to message me/reply for support, advice, or just someone to rant to, any time at all!
hunny, I can see where you are getting to sometimes i think my family well pretty much my dad hates me that what i think.and it hurts me inside i have cut my self in the past i have did over dose i have been in the hospital a couple of times life just isnt always what u want it to be.