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I hate my parents . they beat me a lot...

I hate my parents @!! everything wrong which wid them they blame me 4 that. i hate them. my mom dnt live wid us . i dont hav a phone oh come on i am 16 . my dad hits me a lot pucnh me kick me hit me a lot wid rods. i am so in pain. i just want to leave this house no one loves me . i just want to take revenge from them. I hate my mom too all she thinks is of herself she acts like i am not her daughter & ignores me. mY DAd is pathetic he gets angry soon n hits me like animals for no reasons. I wish they were dead....
some 1 help me out i just want to leave this house ...
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replied May 9th, 2012
i feel EXACTLY the same way you do. no kiding. dont worry, your not the only one. hang in there.
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replied May 11th, 2012
Extremely eHealthy
I am not someone who thinks you should never punish kids by hitting them but what you describe isn't punishment - it is assault and child abuse!

I suggest you talk to someone about it: maybe a teacher or ring Child-line or go and see the social services...

Whatever problem your father has, it is his job to be a good example to you during your upbringing and not to use you as a punch-bag to relieve his own frustrations or anger. Possibly you should complain about him to the police and show them the marks of his beatings...

You might be lucky and be placed in local authority or foster-care but resources are so tight these days your dad might just initially get warned to behave and you still have to live there but you won't know unless you try...
Might be better if you could go and live with a nice relative for a couple of years instead - try writing to uncles, aunts, grandparents and see what happens...
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replied November 27th, 2012
I'm 25 now and have a daughter of my own and it makes me realize how horrible my parents are. My dad fathered at least 5 other children - all aborted by different women her coerced. He told me I am crapI come from crapand I will always be crap He left when I was 5, didn't pay for the divorce and never paid child support. He showed up sporadically and let me live with his other family when my mothers husband went crazy. He gets so angry and I don't know why. He hit me in the face as hard as he could with a soccer ball from 5 feet away once because he thought I tossed it to him too hard. He lit his brother on fire when they were younger, with kerosene. He slapped me when I was 9 because he thought I took too long in the shower, he didn't even ask me he just slapped me as hard as he could. I fell. I told him it was because the water pressure was too little I couldn't rinse my hair. He only said, 'Oh', and didn't apologize. He always has treated me like dirt, refusing to hug me, putting me second to his new wife. He has two other alive children (at least) who he seems to love. He looked me directly in the eye on my 23 birthday and said 'at this point holls, I don't care whether you live or die'. Then he shrugged when I asked him if he loved me. He paid for 2 semesters at community college, my mother paid for zero and her husband not at all either. I paid for the rest. He says he doesn't remember the bad things he's said or done. He once told me to get a job to pay for school, then 3 weeks later said 'I don't understand why you think you have to work." I worked full time for 5.5 years and paid for school. When I was 22 my father and his wife had each been making over $100,000 a year as computer programmers and engineers, yet he barely conceeded to contribute to my schooling. One day I refused to change my major when he told me to out of the blue. From then on he looked at me like I was dog !**@! on his shoe, he stopped talking to me, and starting insinuating that he didn't care if I was dead - twice; before he said so explicitly. He has hardly called me my whole life, never made sure I had health insurance, never given me advice, never checked on my grades. I want him to know what a worthless piece of junk he is, how I understand incontrovertibly that he is a lame excuse of a father and not really a father at all because he did not want to be. I wish I could sue him for back child support but my idiot mother 'canceled' the court-order for him to pay when I was 9, because she is a complete idiot; so there is no case. My mother is a disgusting idiot. She was incredibly caustic and emotionally evil as I grew up. I had to walk on egg shells around her. A question like 'hi mom, how are you' prompted her to say 'god holly, will you get off my back' in a sick, evil drawl. Two parents who hate the other parent of their child don't really love their kid I think. She had a boyfriend that made me give him naked massages. He was naked, and at first I had underwear on. I was seven. The second or third time I was naked. I don't know how it happened. But my mother stood there and watched. Later she sort of accused me of being like an 'other woman', and was angry with me. I remember it happening three times, but I was sexually abused by an older male when I was four so many of my memories of abuse after then are black and incomplete; and I feel as though this man, may have done other things I don't remember. I had to beg my mother to stop seeing him. Beg her. She was so disgusting, such an idiot she pithed and said she missed him. I was 8. I understood exactly that her behavior was wrong. She had another boyfriend who tried to abuse me but I literally escaped by running out of the darkened room. When she met her now husband, he would come over and they would make sexual inuendo right in front of me, I was 9. They would go in her room and have disgusting sex all day, for hours. I would hear things. We lived in a crack-neighborhood ghetto with homeless, insane people walking around the streets and murders happening in the apartment complex so I didn't go outside. I turned on the tv, turned up the volume and cried, feeling sick. Again, I was nine. My mother also left so many times I don't even know. More than once she said she was going to taco bell for me and did not come back until the next day. I remember this multiple times, including when we lived alone - so I had no telephone, no relatives, no neighbors, no one and was nine years old. She was going to stay the night with her boyfriends. At these times, as a child my fear and anxiety about where my mom was and why she had not come home made me cry until I passed out. Multiple times, I don't know how many. She always worked a minimum-wage job, and she was always evil and caustic to me. She lacks the ability to give good life or career or education advice and instead adopted a laissez faire attitude towards my experiences and me in general. Both parents did. She used to act as if we were sisters and even at 8 years old I felt uncomfortable and grossed out by this. She basically seems to be incapable of doing anything right or being successful or responsible or trying hard or being smart, in my opinion and as such my problems with her and her lack of parenting continue to this day. When i became pregnant at 24, I told her and throughout the pregnancy and since she has given ZERO advice but instead plays on her phone, posts idiotic stuff to facebook and complains with that same caustic, evil speech about her husband and her life in general. I recently asked her if she had a moral code and she replied, 'No! I don't!", and laughed. The memories and my anger at my parents haunt me, maybe because I feel like they are greatly responsible (and in some cases directly responsible), for some of my academic failures. I am 25, happily married with a wonderful child but have no degree for my 6 years of school, only worked as a waitress for 5.5 years. I wished they had helped me in grade school, checked on my emotional well being, not abused me, not neglected me, not been privy to activities and people that put me in danger and left me sexually abused repeatedly, made sure I had dentist appointments, given me any career and college advice, looked into opportunities for me, and tried harder to be successful people themselves. This explanation is only some of the awfullness of my parents.
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replied January 19th, 2013
Mystery of parenting.
Sfn-the way you were treated is disgusting and horrible and I hope life gives you a lot more happiness in future. What they did to you and all you have been through makes you a stronger person and all of that streghnt you can project In to your own child with the love you should have had. Some people should not have children because they are meantly unstable and tend to abuse their children and punish them, blaming them do all thee failures rather then seeing there own mistakes. People like that have no humanity and are selfish worthless peices of turd who do not deserve your time. I hope the way all people who are abused both emotionally and physically can find peace and happiness and lay the past where it belongs, because once you chose to move on you do not need to look back.
I sometimes also hate my parents. But after reading your posts I feel ashamed for feeling this way because they are not that bad. In some ways I do think they are but not as bad as I make out in my head. I do blame them for a lot of factors in my life. But I mostly hide those feelings because having them linger in my mind everyday only makes me upset and realise how much a part of me hates them and their actions. It also affects my own actions and my lack of emotions and this constant bag of hate that is always stewing in me. I have come to hate everything and even though there are things I still love I feel like because of how I have been brought up, I do not deserve to be able to experience those things I love. I'm only 20 but ever since I was 6 or 7 all I have thought of is escaping and being free. That's my earliest memory wishing someone would take me away from them but now I am old enough guilt holds me back. A part of me still cares for them whilst a part of me hates every one around me. I'm empty and can not find happiness in anything or anyone. Being emotionally or physically abused as a child gives you a certain mindset and sometimes there is no escape. Maybe this post is very contradictory. That just shows how messed up my head seems to be. I'm constantly at war with myself. As a teenager I attempted suicide quite a few times but that's a cowards way out and even though I tried, I failed obviously. It's the mind games parents play how they don't care a damn why isn't it like it is in the movies. You are abused you feel hate the hate stays bottled up and it comes out as abuse to others. Horrible cycle which I hope will break. I fear I have turned into one of those people who should not have kids. Love does not conquer all. Reality sets in.
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