I hate my family and this hatred increases everyday.
This family I am supposed to belong to has a Dad, Mom and an older sister. They are basically nice people and definitely responsible parents and averagely good parents if not the best. They have always provided what the best they can in terms of life and education.
But, living with them is a real hell(at least for me). My parents and my sister really like me, but i just can't stop hating them. My dad is responsible and loves to spoil us,but he is short tempered and highly egoistic and most of his frustrations is vented on all of us(mom, me n sis) in form of yelling. My mom is a nice person and really sweet to talk to and she really takes good care of everyone,but i feel her to be most negative person i have met(she always makes comments that makes other people look like bad/worse/worst people). My sister, is again yet another dominant person, though she likes me a lot, but she is overly obsessed and protective(?) of me and is way too adamant.
All of them are really negative people and always make negative remarks about other people (even the smallest defect of that person). They all (dad,mom n sis) don't go along very well but as a family we all stay together. Thus, they all keep complaining about each other to me.
One thing i forgot to mentioned, they like/love you if and only if you doing as per their demand(s)(that's why my sister doesnt get along). Else they turn real ugly.
They say they like me the best. But somehow i always feel i am the only one left out. My sis is obsessed about herself and constantly complain about everyone to me. She is overly competitive and hates everyone. The only people she likes are mostly spineless and constantly appraise her and follow her commands. ( i have started ignoring her.. almost completely)
My mom, always complaints about the treatment my dad n sis gives her(as they tend to be rude... when angry) and how her in-laws and her family never took care like they are supposed to.
My dad, if i am doing things they way he has asked and don't raise any voice and is following every command of his, being around him is like being something about to explode and that too with an unpredictable timer.
They have a notion that they are the best and no one is remarkably close to what they are as a parent.
All my friends or strangers who all have seen us as family thinks we are all happy. But its the opposite.
and as my dad had a transferable job. i never had any good friends. and the few i had are now living on different side of the country for their career.
I don't stay with them as i got my job far from them. But spending what so ever time with them is becoming ever so unbearable, that all i can think about is getting away from these people or get rid of this life of mine by ending it.
I know that this family is better than what people say.. the ones where father tortures the kids... etc . But the bad part about it is because if this i am no longer able to tell/complain about this to anyone.
I thought this was just a teenage thing... coz i realise that i hate living with them during that phase. but i am no longer a teenager... i am in my mid 20s.
Individually i have no emotions for them anymore. But i really HATE living with them(for however small amount of time i have to live with them).
Is there any solution to this.. or am i just nuts??
PS: thanks to my dad's attitude(moslty) people are not really fond of us/me.