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I Hate my Dad!!!!!!!

I hate my dad very much and I really need help with it. I live in HongKong right now and I am 15 years old. My mom died when I was eight and now my dad got a new goddamn girl friend and he has a baby with her and now I'm in hong kong so study and my stupid goddamn father don't send me money to go to school and hong kong is the only place where I can study to have future. by the way, my home country is thailand which if I finish studying there, I will have no future and now, my goddamn father don't care about me anymore and he doesn't even send me money to go to school and my uncle, who I'm living with is going to kick me out of the house and send me back to thailand which I wouldn't want to and this is all because of my stupid father. everytime he has money, he just use money with his stupid girl friend and he gave excuses that he doesn't have money to send me, I really hate him, I hate him more than anything in my life and I swear that if I had to go back to thailand, he must get ready for to make a funeral for me, because I'm sure I will f***ing commit suicide!!!! I hate him!!!!!!!!
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First Helper IsaCara
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replied April 25th, 2010
Supporter
Attanond,
I am so sorry that you are feel so angry, sad, and alone. I lost my daughter Jennifer 7/4/2008 and not a day goes by that I don't miss her. I have full guardianship of my beautiful grandson Nathan, and he is what keeps me going. He was also 8 when he lost his Mom. His father was never really a part of his life and I am glad because he is a total loser. Do you have any relatives at all that you can talk to. I am so glad you want to study and have a career. I wish I could take you in my arms and give you a big hug, sounds like you really need it. Please don't talk about suicide, things will get better. Are their any counselors at school you can talk to. It's not healthy to be so angry but I do understand because their was a point in my life I also despised my parents. I had a mentally ill sister, she was evil, and I suffer daily from sibling abuse. She was only 11 months older than me. 48 years ago they really did not know alot about mental disorders so their was not much help available to my parents. I resented them so much, I had a little sister 8 years younger who was born deaf. I was the middle child, well behaved, a good student, and never seemed to get any attention. All of it was spent on the weaker siblings. My sister, past the daily beatings, tryed to kill me a few times. She put street drugs in my allergy pills. I carried this anger around for years, I was also molested by my grandfather which further complicated things. Once I met the love of my life at 16, got married at 18, and had my first child at 19 I really did not understand what parents face. As my children grew and I had some difficulties I realized that raising a child can be so hard and confusing at times. As a parent I wanted the best for my children, and since they don't give out manuals you learn through trial and error. I was so lucky my daughters were healthy, happy, and generally well-adjusted. By raising them and facing some issues I began to understand what my parents must of faced. I know its hard for you not to be angry but you seem like a very intelligent young woman, and please don't let this anger rule your life. Anger wastes your energy, it can give you anxiety and actually cause physical problems. I don't know you but I am genuinely terrified for you right now. Things will get better, I promise, their will be a light at the end of a tunnel. Don't give up, you are resilient, and I know you are capable of finding other options. Sounds like your Dad has some major issues himself. I can give you a suggestion, it may help, take all that negative energy, use a little psychology, and you may be able to manipulate the situation in your favor. Write a letter to your father, think very carefully about how you feel, do not chastise him, let him know how sad, abandon you feel, how you miss your Mom, that you need him, and you don't feel like he cares about you anymore. Approach him with a calmness in your letter, tell him you feel like you are all alone in this world. But whatever you do, do not chastise him, only explain how your heart is breaking, do not show anger only sadness. When you write a letter you have time to think about what you write, and he has to read it, and will problably read it over and over again. Don't put him on the defensive, just pour out your emotions without anger. Tell him how much you miss your Mom. Anger only begets anger and at this point it does not sound like that will solve anything. In this letter do not insult his girlfriend as much as you hate her. Tell him you miss having alone time with him. Try to do this, it may help. In the meantime please feel free to contact me. I am happy to help you anyway I can.
A caring Mom and Grandma
Cindy
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replied July 1st, 2010
i feel the same i hate my dad he has a wife and a lil girl and boy and i live with my mum step dad and step bro and real bro but i get left out at home and at school cuz i get bullied and if i go to my dads i feel ther same left out and fergotten so i hvnt seen him since .. before christmas he buys everything for them but when it comes to me i get left out my real sis n bro get stuff off my dad aswell but me i just get left out n bullied
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replied July 1st, 2010
Supporter
ash4oak,
You must be feeling so lonely, and sad, abandoned because of this. What your Dad is doing is not right. What is happening to you happens so many times to other children too. My nephew never felt accepted by his step Dad. He just turned 23 but he is more angry at his Mom for allowing his step Dad treat him differently. Max real father was black and his Mom was white. He had to grow up with so many prediuous people and was not accepted by many of his peers. It was so unfair and when he had to deal with it at home it only made it worse. He still is spitefull towards his Mom and step Dad. I cant say I blame him, but carrying all this anger does not help you. Hatred will eat away at you. As much as you have a reason to be angry dont allow them to make you feel this way. They are the ones with the problem, not you, try not to be angry, let it go, by being so angry you are giving them them all the power in a way. Just forget them, move on with your life, have fun with your friends. Don't let their insensitive behavior ruin your life. Did you know it takes much more energy to hate, than it does to feel happy. You are draining yourself. Acknowledge this is how their are and move on and follow your dreams.

Cindy
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replied February 5th, 2011
i hate my dad because him make me alway sadness
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replied June 24th, 2011
i know! me 2 exactly. i love my mom with all my heart. I love my big bro even more but he is away at boarding skool and i cry every day cuz i miss him so much. I am 11 and he is 17. I hate my dad sooooo much and ii dont know why. I just hate him. I love my mom soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!
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replied February 16th, 2011
my father is a mental creature.....always he shouts....he does nothing useful in this world ...he has borrowed lots of money from others and wasting....i hate him
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replied July 17th, 2011
I understand the pain that you are going through and want to speak to you very plainly and simply.

1) Just because he is your father, does not mean he loves you. I found this out the hard way in my own life. You wanting him to love you is only natural, but there is no way you can force him to love you if he does not.

2) Despite this, a parent has to be financially responsible for their child up to 18 years of age (because the child has no means to support themselves). There are legal implications of this(although I am not sure how this will hold up in Thailand). This is not a favor that he is doing for you, but your right from him bringing you into this world.

People asking you to forgive him, plainly do not understand the situation you are in. Forgiveness is a luxury that is not going to pay your tuition or rent. You are 15 or 16 now, you need to survive in this bad situation for just a few more years until you can fend for yourself in the big bad world, and make a life for yourself. You've already made it this far.

Please be careful not to get yourself into a worse situation. Getting involved with the wrong people, and getting yourself physically and emotionally harmed, will make it even more difficult to extricate yourself from. Find whatever strength you can to help you survive. Your priority right now is to protect yourself, because no one else is going to.
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replied August 13th, 2011
my dad and me aren't close. This is because i'm scared of him, since young whenever I did something wrong by accident or got a math question wrong and didn't understand he would hit me or shout at me. This distanced my relationship with him.
I remember once when I didn't understand a math question he kicked and slapped me, once he even hit my mom because she was protecting me, scared that my back would break.
Most of the time I am happy with the relationship we have, it's mostly non-communicative, but thats because he is a not an open person and talking to him about anything other than work would be awkward. He is always so shy and makes me do his biddings, I feel like a slave at home. Accidents happen... thats something he doesn't understand, now i'm 17, whenever I do something wrong he would shout and scold me telling me that I would get fired.
He is a dirty, lazy person who doesn't even help clean the house. He thinks that earning money for the family is enough, I feel that he is a hypocrite whenever he scolds me because he puts all the responsibility for me. I'm going to be the bigger man and deal with this until I finish University and move out.
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replied November 17th, 2011
I hate my dad!I live in denver and he just decided to come live out here.Now he put a protective order against my mom seeing me! I'm 15 and goddamn it I will do anything to stay away from him!I can't do anything around him.I brought my boyfriend over and right when I walked into the door my retard of a dad stormed in and started beating my boyfriend!Now he and all my friends think I'm a freak.I miss my boyfriend soooo much but thanks to me freaking dad he hates me.When I was five he brought a girl into the house and when she said she had to go he took her shirt and tried to rape her.I will never forget that.Ever since he in retard.He yells at me,I went to school one day and I had a black eye and a broken rib because he beat me so hard.Now child protictive services is making me go to his house.And god forbid he makes me do something nasty.He already watches my 17 year old sister get dressed and she is the ONLY one that listens to me.My boyfriend want to see me tonight but I don't know what to do!!!!! I HATE MY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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replied November 20th, 2011
Uggghh, my f;***** dad. He's so anoing. Evertime he makes me mad I just waa g suide. I try to stay close to my cousin butNO I can't, my f****** dadsays no. Adh makes me play freking basketball. Sometimes I wana kil him. I think most sucides go towards hating parents. Sometimes I get upat night thinking "I can't wait t move out and ill never come back again" and someother times "ill either kill myself or my dad." I really hate my dad. Ad what ticks me off is tha I'm 13 and he treatsme live a fu***** slave! Funny ting is,my dad thinks he can tell me what to do. he wonders why I hate him? Hethrew me at a table! I HATE MY F***** DAD!!!
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replied November 10th, 2012
my dad is an idiot
I understand everyone here, how they hate their f' up dads. This is the same with me because I'm like a slave in my home. I need to do absolutely EVERYTHING in the house, and if I don't, I just get something taken away or I get grounded. I don't understand why I just used the word “grounded“ as I get grounded every weekend. Its like I wake up, and something gets into my parents and they just ground me, and if I even turn my Laptop on to do some revision for my school, I get beaten. And obviously I get my grounded s**t extended. So as everyone here is saying, “ I hate my dad, and I don't understand why the fck he's here, and why the fck he is in my life.
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replied February 2nd, 2013
i lost my mom when i was 11, and since my dad has only takes care of my lil sis. he rejects me cause i don't cry like my family does when we talk about my mom, they think i hate her... that's why i don't cry, but truly i just don't wanna say something cause for me crying are for ppl who are weak.
i tried everything to be accepted by my family again but nothing works.
they'd just send me to a shrink every time i try to show any sadness over my mothers death.
ive tried killing myself many times, but to only realize that it doesn't bother my dad if i die. i thought it would make him understand how i feel well it doesn't work. so now im looking up to find ways to make my father regret treating me like !**@!
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replied May 29th, 2013
You are here, not here to die
Yoshy, your ever so wanted in this world, you shouldn't think of reasons to die, but reasons why you should live, it's the hard things in life that stick, it's hard to look at the small,positive things in life. Losing someone you love is very difficult, although I haven't experienced losing my mum, I had experienced having a absent father since I was 9, I felt resent and anger most of the time, and became a very bitter little girl. Your father is hiding his feelings, he loved your mum, and your a part of your mum, he feels very lost and hurt, he might not show his feelings, but he does care for you.. and he loves you, love can hide in the heart, when dear family is lost. To cry is only human, if you can't that's okay too, perhaps your feeling numb, only time will tell, and celebrate what your mother lived for not what she died for, remember you will always be remembered in your mothers heart.
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replied August 1st, 2013
i hate my father.. n i cant help it out.. i have seen him yelling at us all the time..my mother, my sis n bro.. all my childhood..i saw ourselves getting insulted by him for little mistakes.. i am fed up.. i have lost self control.. i feel depressed mostly..i dont want to be like HIm...bt im also getting short-tempered da by day.. because of all this....i LOVE MY MOTHER.....She sacrificed her whole life for us...compromised with that man because he was our father...she did job also so that we have better lifestyle.. but noww,,its enough..........
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replied August 1st, 2013
i hate my father.. n i cant help it out.. i have seen him yelling at us all the time..my mother, my sis n bro.. all my childhood..i saw ourselves getting insulted by him for little mistakes.. i am fed up.. i have lost self control.. i feel depressed mostly..i dont want to be like HIm...bt im also getting short-tempered da by day.. because of all this....i LOVE MY MOTHER.....She sacrificed her whole life for us...compromised with that man because he was our father...she did job also so that we have better lifestyle.. but noww,,its enough..........
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