I'm 5''6'' and I am 135 lbs
I hate the way I look, I feel so ugly! I hate my body, it's disgusting!
I am obsessed with counting the calories in everything I go to eat, if I think it's too high, I won't eat it.
I don't eat anymore than 500 calories a day! Yesterday I only had 317 calories!
If I go over 500 calories it makes me feel fat and disgusting! I feel ashamed of myself if I go over that!
When I feel hungry I drink water because it makes me feel full.
I starve myself all day and when my dad's home from work I eat very little or I tell him I have already
had something to eat!
I am not stopping until I get down to 100 lbs. I feel so fat! :/
I am going to starve myself all day tomorrow and then go to the gym tomorrow night for 3 hours!
I don't know what to do! I can't stop all of this! Sometimes I try but then I feel like a failure so I keep
on going with it.
Sometimes when I look at food, part of me wants to eat it, and another part of me says don't and that
if I do I am failing myself, and that I will get even fatter!
Does anybody else have the same problem as me? If you do please reply. I would really like to talk to someone
who is feeling the same way as me!
To start, never believe that you are a failure.
We all feel like this sometimes, we hate our bodies and feel that we don't do enough exercise/we eat too much/we're not pretty enough to ever be liked. But it's not true, at all. You seem to be really down at the moment and I think the best thing that can help you is talking to someone about how you're feeling, not over the internet.
Also, I would suggest taking a day to surround your self with things you love. Read a favourite book, watch a favourite film, do something you love doing. By the end of the day, you'll probably feel a lot better.
Definitely DO NOT do what the person above is saying. They've got very much the wrong idea about anorexia. It's not a dieting strategy, it's a mental illness that has a 1 in 5 chance of getting over it (1 gets over it and never gets ill again, 3 spend their lives in and out of hospital because they can't get over it and 1 in 5 people die).
Try to love yourself and you'll feel better in time. It's not going to happen overnight and it will be difficult but I really hope you come to accept yourself and realise that you're beautiful the way you are. It took a long time for me to get over how you're feeling, but I know it can be done and you don't need to feel terrible for eating.
Hope that helps a little bit.