I HATE life.

ok I'm going to try and sum up how I feel in the shortest way possible.

I HATE life at the moment. I am in secondary school and am currently taking my GCSE's. Ok I'm doing good getting B's and A's, and yes I have "friends". They're not really friends though, just a group of people I hang around with yet I feel like an outcast to the group, not fully accepted to be part of it. I find it hard to make friends and when I make them I can't hold them because I'm not funny, cool or popular. I can't get a girlfriend because I'm ugly/not good looking.

I am always fighting with my parents and, although my sister is really protective over me, I seem to be fighting with her 24/7. I have even ran away once but been found. I've often thought about doing it and just leaving forever. But as much as i fight and argue with my parents I couldn't put my sister through the grief she'd suffer if I left. Also my nan is my role model and she is suffering from dementia, although not severly. I couldnt put my nan through the worry of me going.

I'm told "I'm always negative." and I don't know who to tell about the reasons I'm negative such as the ones I've named above. I feel as if im alone, noone to turn to or talk to. Suicide is not an option for me though as I can't bring myself to kill me, although 3 years ago I self harmed for 1 week before realising it did not help.

I dont know what to do, should I run away? Should approach my parents? Should I resort to extremities?