ok I'm going to try and sum up how I feel in the shortest way possible.
I HATE life at the moment. I am in secondary school and am currently taking my GCSE's. Ok I'm doing good getting B's and A's, and yes I have "friends". They're not really friends though, just a group of people I hang around with yet I feel like an outcast to the group, not fully accepted to be part of it. I find it hard to make friends and when I make them I can't hold them because I'm not funny, cool or popular. I can't get a girlfriend because I'm ugly/not good looking.
I am always fighting with my parents and, although my sister is really protective over me, I seem to be fighting with her 24/7. I have even ran away once but been found. I've often thought about doing it and just leaving forever. But as much as i fight and argue with my parents I couldn't put my sister through the grief she'd suffer if I left. Also my nan is my role model and she is suffering from dementia, although not severly. I couldnt put my nan through the worry of me going.
I'm told "I'm always negative." and I don't know who to tell about the reasons I'm negative such as the ones I've named above. I feel as if im alone, noone to turn to or talk to. Suicide is not an option for me though as I can't bring myself to kill me, although 3 years ago I self harmed for 1 week before realising it did not help.
I dont know what to do, should I run away? Should approach my parents? Should I resort to extremities?
Hi GoingUnder and I am happy that you wrote us...Talk to your parents...Tell them how you feel...Tell them that you need help with talking to someone that understands your plight in life...Many people feel like you do so please don't think you are alone...I think you are very wise in getting it all out on a sheet of paper...One more thing...If they won't do anything about it, then talk to your school counselor...Remember, we are always here...Take care....