Last night my boyfriend and i split up. One month ago i had a termination, which we were both in agreement on. During that time my boyfriend was wonderful, completely supportive, made me feel secure and loved. He didn't however, ever talk about how he was feeling in relation to the situation, instead he would put the focus back to me and say all is cared about was that i was alright.
Last night, we ended up talking on the phone as i rang when i sensed something wasn't right. In the last two-ish weeks my boyfriend's behaviour varied ever so slightly, he was as loving as always but i could sense something was not quite right as his texts weren't as full of happiness and how much he missed me etc as they normally were (we were very loving) From this when he proposed last night that we met for a drink central tonight instead of him coming over i rang as i was worried.
When we spoke i asked if he wanted to break up and he said he didn't want to break up with me but that he wasn't happy in our relationship, that something had "changed", when pushed he said many things which were contradictory and he said the whole time that he just didnt know but had agonised over this for weeks and had decided to talk to me about it. I asked some direct questions such as do you want to be in this relationship? and he said no. Which leaves little left to say. He told me he loved me more that he has ever loved anyone but isn't happy anymore. He feels that we have been together longer than the mere 4 months that it is and i think he is running away.
I feel that he has had a shock with the pregnancy and it has made him realise his level of commitment that he needs to put into a relationship and that he has decided that life would be easier to go back to his old life with no relationship. (Before me he had casual affairs and never commited- it was always somthing he said that it was so special that he wanted to commit to me.? he is an actor and 28, he is currently very busy with a project, and i think has decided to leave because it's easier than staying and seeing what happens.
I am not someone who pushed for commitment , you can never promise anything but before this we were so happy and in love, he is the kindest, lovliest man and i can't believe that this is where we are. The conversation was left unresolved as i said i had to go to the bathroom and would call back, only knowing i was not going to. I couldn't keep going round in circles anymore. Now, i am wondering whether he wanted to split and when i gave him the option took the path of least resistance and whether if we have met up we would have simply talked and found a path. I haven't heard from him since and i am probably not going to call him as all i want is for him to say he made a mistake and come back which i feel he must work out for himself.
Speaking to my parents and friends they all say they think he will come back (and then of course we have to see where we are) and that is all i want- i miss him and it;s been less than a day, the tought of never holding him or waking up with him breaks my heart. I don't know what to do, I believe that he loves me and i believe he is running scared but how can i help him? Am i right to leave him be to work it out? I am heart broken and can't stop crying.
Wait for him to call. this is what im doing and the wait is long, a minute feels like an hour. you need to both address the termination, and talk about it or it will always be an obstacle in your relationship. im sorry that he left you while you are dealing still with it. if he was the ''kindest, lovliest man'', he wouldve stood by you for longer than a month. i guess we need to be strong and someone better will come our way. the heartbreak you feel is so strong and feels like the world is ending. im trying to distract myself with exercising. i might try sedatives coz im going insane. but keep strong and move on with your life, its hard but try
he was robably a bit shocked as you said with the termination and doesnt want something like tht to happen again..tel him how you feel and give him some time..if he doesnt respond you are better off without him..
you need to let him come to you hunni, i know its hard but if you trouble him now he will just be pushed further away, as hard as it is you need to wait it out, if he doesnt get in contact with you after a few weeks then im really sorry but that would look like he has moved on..good luck i hope you get what you want...Jenny