i freak out about everything.

I am sorry your are in this situation. It sounds like an anxiety attack. It is a normal response to trauma and stress.

If you are faced with the possible death of your mother from cancer, I'd day that is pretty traumatic.

Since she said that impatient thing to you...I imagine she is in pain, on medication or having some discomfort of course...but, you may have sort of come up with something to focus attention on yourself and away from her...there are many, many reasons people do this, especially if you are the baby of the family. That is what is normal for you and you are trying to get back to "normal" right now.

Time to do a little maturing...which is also normal.

It is time for the focus to be on her and for you to be strong so she can fight her own battle and not yours this time...I am sure she has been there to comfort you in time of trauma, stress and illness...right now she needs you to fill that role. It is very normal.

But, if you keep obsessing about it and it keeps you from functioning normal day to day stuff...then get some professional help to get strong again.

Take care, and you are not crazy.

btw I was just thinking...it could also be that you are grieving because there are a lot of changes in the dynamics surrounding your "normal" life and this has had a huge impact.

Other family members are also refocusing on your mom and how the thought of her having a serious disease is affecting them as well so things are not myKaila centric like they used to be...you have a tough adjustment...but it is all normal.

I hope this helps, my heart goes out to you!

maybe you can ask if the hospital or clinic that is treating your mother's cancer has grief or family counselling for the families of cancer patients. it sounds like you need some support in dealing with her illness and that is legitimate, but you probably won't get it from her right now because she is dealing with a lot also. ask other family members if they know how you could get some help dealing with your feelings. they are pretty normal in your situation but you should be able to get on with living and not be constantly held back by anxiety.

MyKaila, you sound normal to me. Of course you are going to be worried about death in this situation!

I think kaerbear is right; ask if the doctors or hospital can refer you to someone to talk to. That is alot of anxiety to deal with and have no one supporting you.