sounds daft but its affecting me a lot.
Sometimes my depression makes me think horrible things, other times just plain stupid but it all feels the same.
Im in a relationship, my fear was id want someone else, started a job started to panic because i thought someone was alright looking (which people do) it felt like i fanceid them but it wasnt quite right (some part of my brain is rational) it didnt feel right.
At the same time I started to think i didnt fancy my partner, and will think horrible things about the way they looked, which is completely at odds with what i think normally. It was like id think something horrible and a part of me was thinking this isnt right.
Now im in a panic, i dont know what im thinking, what im doing. I started to draw away from being physical with him, i feel sick which i then jumped to the wow i cant fancey him, but it feels like panic.
In my opinion you don't sound daft or stupid!
Depression can interfere with perception at times (I'm speaking from previous experience)and it's important to speak with a professional you can trust.
I totally understand how you feel, I was having, I think, a kind of a quaterly life crisis....but I was soo confused so i couldn't type right , i could't do anything right and my whole sense of identity had totally disappeared it was sooo confusing did you ever get through this? it's exhausting to try and act normal i know, I felt like I wanted to make out with every guy i met but not even because I found them attractive just because i wanted to keep my options open...but it wasn't that I wanted to make out with them , I felt like I had to, because no one could love me if i was myself but maybe they'd fin dme attractive... and you feel like you are completely losing it... I always though i was attracted to someone and then i got to know themand then found out i wasn't, and didn't give a crap about them.. and then the people I was attacted to would be attractive one week and not the next...I think i just wasn't ready for relationships anymore because i was so lost in my life... but i think it's normal when you're going through a period where you're totally lost and you've lost all your "landmarks" in life to feel like you're kind of losing it in general and do totally irrationnal things... I was in school so I'd start writing essays that didn't make sense and had some kind of OCD type sensation where I had to write words in a sentence, not because they made sense, but just because they HAD to be there... I think you may have kind of a mix of anxiety and depression.. did you ever get through this with medication? did you end up leaving your partner? just know that you are not alone, and we all lose it at times...
I think many of us seek affection, love or approval from others during our vulnerable times. Having said that though it may not always be what is best for ourselves or our situations. It may well be very true that you just need to find yourself and discover your capabilities.
Apply yourself to your interests, hobbies and pursue new interests and activities which make you happy. Sometimes we put others and duties before ourselves so much that we lose touch with what makes us truly happy and fulfilled.
I do think that we need a pro-active approach when dealing with mental health. Professionals within the field will be able to provide more valuable information for your health and general well-being. Take care and all the best.
I think rather than thinking yourself as a dumb you should think it in a normal way that if you feel so is how much practical.You should try to focus on your basics,your ethics.Its not that odd thinking for which you should feel dumb.Just be relaxed & talk with someone from whom you can expect true advice....All the best.