I identify with many of you and your feelings of grief and depression. My husband passed away in January of this year after 3 and a half years with prostate cancer. I was a full-time carer and he stayed at home to the end. Watching him dying and being pumped with more and more morphine was the hardest thing i've ever done although i'm really pleased i was with him when he passed away. I just feel extremely depressed and have no interest in anything these days. Everything seems to remind me of him, and i cry buckets every day. I feel my heart has been torn out of my chest, and life has no meaning. I'm very lethargic and go to bed in the early hours and get up at lunch time, and my eating habits are dreadful - sweets and chocolate biscuits!
I've had depression quite a few times but never as bad as this. At times i feel suicidal, but i know it's not the answer. It's just that i feel i have to start my life all over again, and it's horrible. I'm 52 and my husband was 56.
Hey Damara, i am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my best friend, my Mom and i am also devastaded. I read your post and my heart goes out to you. How are you feeling now? I hope you have found some strengh some how; the pain will always be with us. It sadden me to read what a difficult time you are having.