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I feel so bad about myself

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Hi,
I already posted something on here, but i didnt get answers ( only one ), it doesnt get better. Everybody tells me that its just a phase, that everything is going to get better. You're all liars. It doesnt. I feel like nothing can help right now. Nothing and nobody. I can't even help myself. Im not strong enough, and i dont want to. I'd die to be loved, to feel loved, i'd die to have a friend, or just someone who cares...Im young, but i feel like its already too late. I didnt ask anything. Why is this happening to me, why are people so mean to me...I tried. Please, believe me, i tried my best.But nothing works. I dont get why people hate me so much. I feel like a freak. Ive saved as many pills as i could...I dont know what to do anymore..." Suicide isn't a solution ", " it gets better when you get older ", " don't worry, you're soon going to meet someone ". LIES. Nothing is going to get better.I cant do anything. I cant talk to anyone, not even my mother. How sick is that ? I'm a big mess, a failure, a mess up. Im ashamed of myself. I feel like death is calling me...
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First Helper User Profile Starwalker1210
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replied November 19th, 2011
I know exactly how you feel... I feel the same every single day, in and out. Very alone, neglected, unloved, not liked...Insecure about everything... It sounds like u keep it inside, and the few people that you open up a little to, seem to water down the problem and just say "it's a phase." They think, because you are young or smart or beautiful that the problem is nothing more than being a tad bit sensitive or overdramatic. I have felt depressed for as long as I can remember. Even as a young young child I was always sad and anxious and had a negative outlook. I thought it would go away but it didn't..and now at 21 years old I still feel like the 5 year old child who was always sad and worried about too too many things. I feel like I was robbed of that happy childhood experience. And as an adult it has not gone away, but instead is a permanent 'mood' -Extreme sadness, anxiety and insecurity. What is there left to do???
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replied November 20th, 2011
nothing, absolutely nothing..
thank you for being honnest with me. I really appreciate it.
"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."
I really like this sentence..
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replied November 21st, 2011
I'm 25 and married, and it still hasn't completely gone away for me. It's gotten better, but still isn't gone. I always feel alone, like no one understands me, or is even interested in trying to understand me. I'm not one for telling people that I know how they feel, but it sounds like we feel something similar.
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replied November 21st, 2011
I feel the exact same way...that's why i'm here. Im 28, and i have a good job..i live on my own...but im so alone. I hate my job...i dread going to work everyday...i cant stand the people i work with....i come home, i sleep, and i do it all the next day...i feel like ive wasted the last 5 years of my life, and nothing is going to get better. I dont like new people, i know what i want, i just cant get it. And it sucks,and there is no way out...i hit a wall
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replied November 21st, 2011
same here. i know exactly what i want, but i cant get it too.
I dont know how to feel about this. You're all almost 8 years older than me, and still, it didnt get better...
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replied November 21st, 2011
If i was your age, I wouldnt worry...you got ALOT of time to figure it out...And i really didnt start feeling this way till i was like 23-24....Alot of bad things happened in my life, and it was a downward spiral....i got stuck, and still havent gotten out...Marchuk, your young...dont get stuck...figure out what you want , and go for it...regardless of whats holding you back
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replied November 21st, 2011
there are such a lot of things that hapenned to me. Yes, im young, and i shouldnt have seen some of things i saw. unfortunately, its too late now. I want it to get better, all i want is to success, at school and in life, to make my mum proud of me, but its too hard with people being so mean to me
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replied November 21st, 2011
The one thing i learned...forget everyone else...you only got yourself....do something because it makes YOU happy....prove something to YOURSELF...forget everyone else....go to school...do what you love...dont let anyone tell you different
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replied November 24th, 2011
Experienced User
This is great advise. Thank you! i'm trying to please everyone but myself.
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replied November 21st, 2011
Ill try...
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replied November 21st, 2011
Honestly, I've never really felt better after reaching for accomplishments. I was this way in high school too. What's helped me is being completely honest with myself. What I mean is, I am really good at noticing that I'm not the best at things, but I have to force myself to notice that I'm not the worst. I have to force myself to point out my good qualities while I'm pointing out my bad. Some days I have to dig pretty deep to find a good quality, but I have to force myself to do it.

The loneliness thing isn't really new for me, but it's not accompanied by my usual self loathing. I've been trying to be more honest with my wife by telling her that I want a best friend, and I want it to be her, but that I feel like I don't have one, and she's been cool about trying to be that, though unsuccessful so far.
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replied November 22nd, 2011
Yeah, i understand what you mean. Even if i success at school/life, i'll always feel alone, because i have nobody to talk to/laugh with...And a good grade or a diploma won't help how im feeling.
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replied November 24th, 2011
Experienced User
But by her trying to be your bestfriend, proves that she is you bestfriend.

Because if she did'nt love you as much as she does, then she would even try to be your bestfriend.

You do know that a man's wife is his bestfriend, even more than that, she is his other half.

You've had the bestfriend you've been looking for all along, and even more.
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replied March 24th, 2014
I just lost my mom last week. She was only 60. I am 42. I have no career or job for that matter. No husband no children never owned a house. My only brother died 12 years ago from an overdose. I feel so worthless, a failure in life and really really alone. I have a gambling problem and I have diabetes that I take insulin for. I was neglected by my mother and abused by many of her boyfriends as a child and the list of tragities in my life just goes on and on. At this point any solutions I come up with in my head to feel better just seems like a lost cause. I am too late. How can this happen to me. I am so sad and lonely.
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replied March 26th, 2014
im sorry you're all going through this. im feeling pretty similarly at this point. i feel like a parasite. hope youre all feeling better than I am.
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replied March 26th, 2014
Its Funny, sometimes I feel the same too.
"Parasite" Thats when we feel like we are hopeless and worthless.

It could be Guilt, it could be a missed opportunity, a missed change to help or sth...THATS OK! ITS OK TO FEEL SO SOMETIMES....

But once you drop your guilt, let past be past, we can start Fresh! I am trying to get outta my mess. I failed a hundred times, but what's Important is I am trying and I'll keep trying...

Hope you Feel Better...and Thanks!
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