I feel so alone in life

You're sister is having a negative effect on all of you and that is hard to go through.

Hun there's nothing wrong with being gay. You're not doing anything wrong. There are a lot of gay people in the world. If you're having a hrd time dealing with it could you perhaps go and talk to a psychologist. You could also talk to them about your family life . Sounds like you could be a bit depressed. You're whole family could probably do with some therapy conserning your sister. That way you wouldn't be going behind their back.

Harmony1

Hi and welcome back,
You are like looking at myself in a mirror. Harmony is right. Living with a disfunctional family is one of the hardest thing to go through. I say this because it can get so bad and depressing, you loose control on reality and really don't know who you are anymore. I am as straight as a pin and have gone through exactly what you have. Thinking you are gay, is probably your way of trying to make yourself an outlet and find out who you are because it has become a daily routine for you to coupe with reality. So, by thinking you were gay would be one hurdle your would be able to escape to in order to find some reality for yourself. Does that make sense? Of course self harm is another way to justifiy your inner non confidence and the disoray in your life. You seem to be looking for a way out somehow and you can't find it.
I agree....I think you should try talking to your parents about this. Believe it or not, if nothing else, you will feel a feeling of weight being taken off of you. By holding this all in is doing you more harm then good. The road ahead would be so much better if you could get yourself back into reality somehow.
Just know we are here for you. But, you need to take this one step futher.

Carrie

I understand this yes, i have tried plenty of times to talk to both my parents but they dont seem interested. ive told them i feel depressed, i even told my mum i wanted to kill myself and she laughed at me. I feel so trapped and isolated in life that i just dont want a part of it. I dont like going out with friends and i dont like being with family. I jusst want to be alone.

Its so hard to explain what i feel to other people, it was hard enough talking to a councillor. i really scare myself somtimes because my mind turns disgusting, my thoughts and feelings just dont feel normal to what other people would think and feel and i just dont fit in with this family. If somthing goes wrong its my fault.

I just want to thankyou both for your kind words, i hope i can stay in touch with you both.

dollymixturegirl

Please stay around. Even if it is just for the compassion here and friendship. It is all here for you. And please keep us up to date how you are doing. We do care.

thankyou, i am glad there are people here to talk to.

Life isnt to great at the moment. I cant seem to shake my feelings off and at least try to look and act normal infront of people and they get mad that im not happy. My mum and dad are always at my throat and ive lost 2 friends in the space of 24 hours. So i dont really have anything to really look forward to and no one to talk to.

I hope you are well XxXx

Never more than a wing span away..............you can runbut you can't hide. I am glad I foudn this as Ihad no idea about your sister and your parents having the added responsibility of raising her kids. Jade, please continue to PM me. You may feel you've lost 2 friends in 24 hours......but you can make zillons here in less than a day! You are my new friend and I care deeply about you. I know you'vewrittne to me telling me you have tried to talk to your parents. I still feel they are in denial. There has to be someone soemwhere you cna go and talk to. Someone close by needs to wake up and see the reality of your situation. I wish I could be there for you.......................Hugs sweet girl!

My heart goes out to you. I really wish I had a magic wond that would make everything better. I would use it for everyone on this board including myself. Depression is a very hard wieght to carry around with you. It can get so bad, you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. You have to be strong through these times. It is your streangh that will make you or break you. It is mental torture at the least.

My thoughts are with you,
Carrie

I PM"d you again! YES, I care about you Jade.......I will ALWAYS be here for you. Don't ever hesitate, I'm only an email away! You are NOT alone......

You will take it one day at a time and I will always be here to try to make you smile and feel good about yourself. School starts in another month. You will be meeting new friends and things will look up....wait and see.....you still have us here! HUGS........^..^

Ya know, sometimes major depression puts us so far away from reality, we are really unable to help ourselves. That is where intervention comes in.

Well girlfriend, we're just gonna have to get you back to reality, Like the song says "Back to life, back to reality" I love that song. First of all my dear friend, you have to consintrate on the more positive side of your live. Thee has to be some ya know. Negitivity will always lead you down the wrong road.
And yes, tring is well worth it! Only you can get yourself out of the lifestyle. Pick yourself up. You say you are to fat. Join a spa and give yourself something to work at and a goal to reach. Make some short term goals and stick to them. Us Bipolar have a big habit of not finishing what we started. This is one of the hardest things I have found in life to concour.