I am a 21 year old female living in Las Vegas, Nevada. I have been dealing with depression issues for the last two years on and off and right now it is so hard I don't know what to do. It started two years ago. I found out my mother was on Meth, my sister didn't have a job and could support herself and my niece, I was going to Arizona State University full time on a a scholarship, working 30 hours a week as a cocktail server and would visit my boyfriend in California as much a possible. I was paying all of my bills and my sisters which is a huge weight on any 19 year old girl and trying to figure out how to help my mom.
Mom my disowned me at her birthday dinner and said she hoped to never see me again and that I could be dying on the streets and she wouldn't want to know. I feel apart. I started having panic attacks, I couldn't sleep, eat, I would cry for no reason. All I knew was that I couldn't stay in Arizona. I knew that if I did I would end up trying to kill myself. I quit school and moved to California with my boyfriend.
Since then things went pretty well. My mom and I reconnected. I found a job I enjoyed and was good at and I was going to start school up as soon as it was affordable. My boyfriend got a great job in Las Vegas and was decided it would be better for us to move and take the job.
I was here for 3 weeks and broke my ankle. I have been on crutches and a boot for the last 3 months. My now fiance had a summer job in California so I was alone for most of the time but I found a seasonal job at a day camp. Now camp is over and I am back to looking for a job, my fiance is back, and I am not happy. I know that anyone that has been on crutches and a boot for as long as I have would be unhappy but it goes beyond that.
I realized that I have nothing. I have always defined myself by what I did. I was a student, a waitress, a counselor. I am still not in school because I can't afford it and nobody will give me a loan. I have sent out probably 300-400 resumes or applications. I am on monster, ihire, craigslist, careerbuilder, and classifieds for hours trying to find a job amd have gotten two call backs. My fiance and I aren't getting along because he says I am avoid my problems.
I don't know how to make it better. I feel like the harder I try the worst everything around me gets. I just need help on how to feel better. Thank you.
you have issues. perhaps his excuss is just a random excuss to cut away from you. That is normal . I noticed when people are in need and they try to turn and get help, many others will shy away because they dont want to deal with the other persons problems. The best thing you can do right now is stay focused on your schooling and achieve your personal goal. I was born with a handicap. and I also have issues similar to what you are discussing. I dont have answers for you. No one will have answers for you. Answers come from trial and error. keep trying
Easy to write down solutions for this kind of issue , but implementing this things in life is extremely tough.many online counseling sites are available in Google . Choose better site, you will get online treating for your problems.