Hi im new to this forum and I really need to talk to anyone that can give me advice and support. I do have some support from friends and family but I think its getting to the point that they dont know what to do anymore with me. Ive always had depression, it runs on both side of my parents. I have a older brother and sister who dont really have depression like I do. I also was diagnose with anixety and panic disorder a few years ago. Im taking medicines for both depression and anixety. It helps sometimes but it doesnt help the way things are with my life. I just feel really lost and dont know how to better it. I recently quit my job because I just couldnt function right anymore and it actually triggered off my anixety more then usual. I dont drive. I feel scared to drive a car and it also triggers off my anixety. I feel like I cant do anything right. Im recently engaged but my fiance is also depressed too and we cant seem to give the support to each other like we should be. I lost my health insurance so I cant afford to go see a doctor or a therapist. Im having trouble finding a job again too. things are just really stressful and my mind is on overload that I dont know where to start with on making things better. I think I have been so spoiled with my parents and once I got into the "real world" that it went downhill from there. I also want to go back to school but dont know what I want to as a career either. Theres so much I want to do but feel like I just cant do it.
My approach has always been to breathe deeply and take things very slowly. Quick life changes can happen, but most often we get where we are going very slowly.
For example, I found myself in a career completely unrelated to what I studied in college. I decided to study topics I found interesting, and it removed the pressure of feeling like I had to label myself as something (doctor, engineer, educator, etc). By studying what I wanted, I found myself pulled toward certain types of classes and later jobs. It took time. I tried to stay patient.
One day at a time is good, or even one moment at a time by living in the present. Wake up. Congratulate myself for putting clothes on. Do something different and simple to brighten your day, like eat a pear for breakfast. It's amazing how simple acts like that, eating a pear, can be a starting point for changing your life.
The only other thing I can say is to look for the humor in life. How oddly a flower bobs when it is blown. Allow yourself to be silly. Make goofy noises. Dance. Embarrass your friends. Enjoy yourself. You have every right to enjoy the present moment, regardless of all that other stuff floating around. Today, when I'm frustrated, I'm going to make an elephant noise. Tomorrow, maybe a mule. Easier said than done, but hope you start seeing smiles all around.
It sounds like you are really at the end of your rope and can imagine climbing to the top again. From your comments on your post I am inclined to believe your antidepressant is not helping at the moment. You also seem to be having extreme anxiety. Is their anyway you could ask your parents for help, borrow funds and see a mental health professional. I believe it is your best alternative right now. If your fiance is depressed to than neither of you are capable of helping each other. Have you talked to him why he is feeling so down? We all suffer from depression but when it seriously affects having the ability to work or drive it's time to seek professional help. Im sorry I cant help you, depression is a hard thing to get past.
I have so much to say to you to help you, I am overwhelmed! There is so much more I want to know about you so I can help.
There are SO MANY FACTORS that go into being (and feeling) depressed. There is the "brain chemical imbalance" theory (and, brain chemicals, such as serotonin and dopamine, can be balanced out with the proper amino acids to "feed" the brain), there is your constant state of high adrenaline and high cortisol (the way you feel when you are stressed out and anxious), and this high adrenaline state can be balanced out with nutrients called "adaptagens". There is the factor that you may have other hormonal imbalances going on. There are also specific types of music that use something called "binaural" beats,which actually change your brain waves from a tense, anxious state to a relaxed, calm state. There is also hypnosis, which uses the power of your subconsious mind to balance out high levels of adrenaline and cortisol, and get you into a relaxed and calm way of thinking about yourself and your life. There is your own belief system about yourself..what you believe you are capable of achieving, or not achieving, in precious this lifetime that you have been given.
There is general counseling and medications, but, in my experience, they never did enough for me to get to the bottom of my own imbalances or depression.
I want you to know that, no matter what "runs on both sides of your family", it doesnt mean that you have to follow the same pattern, or be stuck trying to overcome depression and anxiety your entire life.
Take this experience you are currently dealing with as just that...an experience. One that you will overcome, and one that one day, you can use to help others with, like I am doing with you now.
Maybe one day you will help so many other people because of just what you are experiencing now!
You most likely put way too much pressure on yourself, and you need to take a step back...and learn about ALL aspects of depression..chemical, physical, emotional and spiritual. You need to dig deep, and find others who have overcome depression and are truly content and at peace with their lives now. Surround yourself with those types of people. Join support groups, learn about all kinds of alternative healing, learn about music with binaural beats (you can look up "Equisync" "Hemisync" and "Holosync" online---this type of therapy is simply amazing, the way it calms and focuses your brain!).
Please, also, feel free to get in touch with me, personally...find me on this site and send me a personalized message to my inbox if you would like to talk furthur.
If you feel comfortable, we can exchange phone numbers in the future and I can guide you even better in a phone conversation if you need more help.
Dont forget, you are here on this earth for an important purpose and things will NOT stay this way forever.
I have been where you are, and you will overcome this, with the right types of healing, getting to know others who have overcome and triumphed over depression and anxiety, and you will change and improve your growing belief in yourself.
I am here for you...you have a friend and guide.
I understand your predicament. I have add bouts of depression, helped by medication or the caring that comes with it??
I found the secret to the cause of my depression was in my dreams. not the content but the emotions I felt and the cause of the emotion. My dreams always gave me frustration, why? because I couldn't achieve anything within them. When I woke the frustration became depression.
I related this to my life, which I realised I always gave in to others in order to not cause them upset, but of course I was left upset but absorbed it, causing me depression. I'd always had it and dealt with it, but now and then it took over.
My cure - to assert myself and get what I wanted out of life. Yes I feel bad because I think I upset other people but as David Pelzer says, there is always a price to any decision whichever option you choose.
Study your dreams and understand your subconscious.
Did you have a chance to read my post? I hope so.
Each case of depression is individual and caused by different things...please read my previous post.
It is so important to fuigure out the root of your own depression, and to get whatever help you need, for your own personal case of depression and anxiety.
REMEMBER THIS...U WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER.
WHAT YOU ARE FEELING NOW IS SIMPLY AN EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE, and u will overcome it and be stronger for it one day...and maybe even one day SOON.
PLEASE CONTACT ME BACK to let me know you read my post.
Please contact me back and let me know that you read my previous post...I want you to know that U WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER...AND what you are currently feeling is simply an experience in your life that will serve to strengthen you in the future...to be more centered and much more happy with yourself and your life than you ever were before...
Im here for u.......
Depression has a lot to do with life and I think it takes prayer to change who we are today and how it will affect us in the future. Also praying continually to stop bad things like"depression" from happening.Please Pray