Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

I Feel lost and alone

Must Read
Do you know how doctors define clinical depression? Learn more about this brain disorder and types of depression that doctors diagnose here....
Can depression run in families? Can hormones really make you depressed? Yes! Learn more about causes and conditions of clinical depression here....
People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. Do you know the signs and symptoms of depression? Read on to learn more....
I have been depressed off and on my whole life. And have had so many things happen starting form my childhood that I just havent been able to let go. My dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles tell me to get over it or act like it never happened. Then I end up with an abusive husband (ex now) and after him, it was a boyfriend. I am 26yrs old and a total reck. I have to stay with the boyfriend because my family will not help me get on my feet. They say "why throw away a good thing" just because he has money and so does his family and also they say "just duck, or do whatever he wants. we have our own problems and your nothing special". thats an on point quote because I just got told it an hour ago. Why does it seem like I have the worst luck. Then I read so many of these stories and they sound so close to mine I just dont understand. You would think that there would be nice people out there, but I only find them on the web and that stinks. And my problems also seem so trivial. I am just so messed up now because I have taken care of myself from 14 to 20yrs old and now when I need help im told that I am a burdon. I hate my family, friends and life all of them can go to double hockey sticks. My son is the only thing keeping me alive right now. But my ex took him too. because I dont have a career and not married as the courts say. And he has it all, even though I had a great paying job and I didnt have to worry about loosing it. And the courts suggeted that I follow my ex because he is moving back home where all his and my family is.Which the courts beleave was the best because of the economany. I used to be a very plesant, fun loving, loving everyone, bubbleing, hold everything inside person. Now I hate people and hate life. I dont care about meeting people or having fun, or even know how anymore. I am angery and bitter now. I hate that too. I want to be the person I was before. The one that could make people laugh and make others happy like I used to. I wasnt popular in school, was a well liked outcase if that makes any since. I never had a specific crowd i hung out with. I was just there and people talked to me even the ones I didnt like. I miss that person and that makes me angery too. everything makes me angery and hatefull now and I hate that. I have moved so many times as a "military brat" that now alone sounds nice. See there I go again. I am a very open minded realistic person but I keep going back shutting myself off because it feels better and I dont think I can stop it. Thats my problem I feel like two different people stuck in one body. I want to contiue to give up but at the sametime I want to be happy again. And I am so tired off it. (I wish that I could just pick a side and go with it. Hopefully someday I will.) the thought and energy it takes just feels like a waste of time because all it does it drain me out. OMG!!!! I sound like a dummy. Im Sorry, I dont know why I even bother with this. there are so many people that have worse problems than me.
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper Linzroze
|

User Profile
replied November 29th, 2009
Experienced User
From what you told it sounds like you haven't really grown up in a healthy environment.
A plus on that is that you gave birth to a child in a situation and at an age you weren't completely ready for it yet. Basically you gave up on your youth too early, probably because either you weren't happy about it and wanted to have a fresh new start as a mother, or you were simply encouraged to have a baby by your ex-husband and family.

Subconsciously you feel unhappy about not having lived your youth to the fullest. Your family doesn't understand you and think your financial issues are more important then your social issues.

People have been mentally and physically abusing you throughout the years, plus negative happenings in your life it's only normal that you're a wreck.

My advice to you is to try and find the courage to rebuild your life and get back on your feet. This is a very hard part, and it will cause pain and envy in your heart many times, but what you receive in return will be a new, happy life.
The best thing to do is to try and take everything that happens lightly. Many people take things that happen strongly, making the pain ten times worse then it already is. I know it's hard having to fall and stumble back up again time after time, that you keep trying but each time you try to walk you fall again, but you must find the strength to crawl back up and try again. Even though you now feel you can never walk again, too tired to get back up and give walking a try, but you can do it.

Just give yourself pep-talks, convince yourself of good qualities even if you think you don't have them.
Just repeat to yourself; I'm kind, I'm full of love, I'm young, I'm alive! I'm good at anything I want to be good at! I'm the sun and nobody can shine brighter then me!

It's hard doing everything on your own and it's not a bad thing to get a little bit of help trying to get back on your feet. Either find a hobby you can express yourself in, like poetry, drawing, tennis etc. Or talk to people you can relate to, just have normal conversations with them about how you feel and what you're experiencing and it will lift a weight of your shoulders and make you ready to give walking another try!

A change definitely has to be made, you can't give up, nor continue the way you're living now.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 30th, 2009
Experienced User
If you feel lost and alone side with Nietze or a philospher like this. Lots of people are lonely. And I think like if you get to know it it will become a part of you and you will love it. Some people are alone. And lost. And being alone is a way. Being lost is a way. Just don't feel bad.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 1st, 2009
Being alone in not the problem, being lonely is the problem. You seem to have lots of people in your life but they do not provide the emotional support and sometimes the kick in the but you need.

Are you depressed? That I will leave to a professional to answer, but the tell tell signs are there and YOU NEED HELP. You said that you feel alone, you feel pratically hopeless vis a vis your situation, you feel stock. But remember you also have several positive point in your corner, you are young, you have a son whom you love, you seem to have some kind of advance education. Use those positive energy to get yourself out of this hole. The longer you stay unhappy, the worst it will be for you to come out of it. Seek the advice of a psychotherapist, let him/her guide you toward a brighter furture. Don't let other people dictate your hapiness, get up today and start living again. Contact old friends, call your son on the phone, exercise, laught a little and laught some more.
Use those positive energy to seek help and relearn how to be happy again.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 20th, 2009
Experienced User
I feel a bit lost and very much alone, I feel people are making excuses not to see me. And my life is becoming a double (it's complicated).

You're depressed most of the time because, you're not making a decision, most people are depressed because they let things effect them, like break-ups etc...
Make good decisions, feel like you are important, because honey, let me tell you something...you are special, and hey, I would like to get to know you because you are interesting, just like anybody else...

Stand on your own two feet, if you've got an abusive boyfriend... just stop, and think : What have I got myself into? believe me, there are probably a dozen of people who live near you, who are as kind as me, and who are helpful...no one wants to show it, because society has taught us that if you be a "too" nice guy on the street, people will see that as creepy...


hey you want this to stop? change, get away from it all...
you want to feel "unlonely"? read stories here (it's what I do when I feel like I'm the most unluckiest guy in the world)
and if you want a friend to talk to? send me a private message and I'll give you my msn.

cheer up, your life is like a movie, and for you, you are the main character... peace.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied December 20th, 2009
I never heard you speak about God througout your story. Do you believe? Do you know he loves you? Do you go to church or read the bible? Your biggest fear is you. That you are all the great things inside of you. You don't need anybody to tell you that you are beautiful tell yourself young lady. Don't shrink to make others shine. Step out on faith. God will help you. You are wonderful, brillant, and you can do all things through Christ who strenghtens YOU!!!!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 13th, 2010
I've spent most of my life living in a pretty bad situation as well. I used to let it rule my life, I was so depressed and I felt so alone in the world as well.

While some people turn to faith as a way to cope with issues, I find it to be a cop-out.

Why trust in something that really isn't there? Have faith in yourself, not something else. After all, where was he when you needed him the most?

In the long run remember that nothing is forever, other than death. So only worry about things you can change, everything else is just background noise.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 13th, 2010
i really can understand your situation and i know how it feels,, its like my story im 26 lost and loner in this life...wish you to find happiness
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 9th, 2010
I am the same too, I'm 26, been lost all my life, It's easy for those with goals n clear focused paths to achieve n stay focus on life. I can't advise you, only that you are not alone in the way that you feel. Don't isolate yourself hun, I feel like giving up a lot these days too. Wish I could stop being like this for my sons sake, when left alone with my thoughts am my own worst enemy, i feel like two people too, do stupid things sometimes to change the constant horrid worthless feeling inside. Sometimes finding yourself isn't necessarily what you are looking for, i just want my brain swithching off or my thoughts removed, being left to my own thoughts is worse then hell sometimes. I really do know how you feel, I just got out of an abusive relationship myself and have a young son 300miles away from my friends and fam. others keep reminding me when I try to focus on one thing, when so many bad things have knocked your confidence it's very hard to move on and stand up proper after a while.
good luck hun Smile xxx
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 10th, 2010
You are not alone
I'm 26 and can relate to a lot of what you are feeling. At least I think I can. I don't know? The truth is, I'm just as lost as you. However, the only difference is I have nobody to live for. You have a son and in some opinions, that's what makes life worth living. I have nothing and wish everyday I had the mental capacity to pick myself up and move on, be tough, move past the pass and simply be content. I can't and I know it's because I'm depressed. Triggered by , yet again, another punch in the gut of life, I can no longer find happiness let alone, reason to stay in this world. I've been through this before, my whole actually. Although everybody is born into a roller-coaster ride, some of us aren't as resilient when hitting the lows. The only things that have helped me in the past are outside forces, factors that throw my ride off course and push me into a new direction that actually gives me hope for better things to come. I believe in the power of attraction and that what u put out into the universe comes back to you some how. Keep writing! Whether it's a persona journal or www post, do it every night. The things you want for yourself are out there...you will be ok, and this too shall pass.
~ Lindsay
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 10th, 2010
You are not alone
I'm 26 and can relate to a lot of what you are feeling. At least I think I can. I don't know? The truth is, I'm just as lost as you. However, the only difference is I have nobody to live for. You have a son and in some opinions, that's what makes life worth living. I have nothing and wish everyday I had the mental capacity to pick myself up and move on, be tough, move past the pass and simply be content. I can't and I know it's because I'm depressed. Triggered by , yet again, another punch in the gut of life, I can no longer find happiness let alone, reason to stay in this world. I've been through this before, my whole actually. Although everybody is born into a roller-coaster ride, some of us aren't as resilient when hitting the lows. The only things that have helped me in the past are outside forces, factors that throw my ride off course and push me into a new direction that actually gives me hope for better things to come. I believe in the power of attraction and that what u put out into the universe comes back to you some how. Keep writing! Whether it's a persona journal or www post, do it every night. The things you want for yourself are out there...you will be ok, and this too shall pass.
~ Lindsay
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 27th, 2011
i know how you feel...i am going through it now..but just know and understand that depression has a way of blocking your thinking.. Depression isnt you and dont let it make u believe you are..you have to fight it in different ways which wont be easy but will get you started the right path..do some kind of workout which will pump up your energy..eat healthy, get a job you like.. find some kind of religion, do a hobbie, read self help books..listen to happy positive music..change ur style and do your hair..little things like these could make a great impact.. Depression has you living in a certain lifestyle and to get out of it..u have to change your lifestyle as much as you can...
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 11th, 2011
Need help
I feel lonely and lost all the time
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 11th, 2011
Need help
I feel lonely and lost all the time
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 10th, 2011
i feel lonely and lost too , half the time i can fit in the picture , but its not being me ............ i guess im seeking for something else greater ,they say it hard , its ancient ,
i guess i aint found it yet , im getting more depressed , and stressed , when im alone ,no one understands the way i feel i guess
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied February 13th, 2012
Honestly I can't complain. I hope things work out and you find a way to channel something wonderful into your life. Maybe if you give it some time things will smoothen out. There is still time, and still hope left. Please don't give up on life. I hope confusion doesn't take over your life, and you still find a way to escape.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied February 13th, 2012
Honestly I can't complain. I hope things work out and you find a way to channel something wonderful into your life. Maybe if you give it some time things will smoothen out. There is still time, and still hope left. Please don't give up on life. I hope confusion doesn't take over your life, and you still find a way to escape.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 28th, 2012
i feel lost
i see lots of helpful comments from mostly women here. let me give you a man's perspective on this too. i feel like i am drained out of energy and have LOST confidence in myself...reason?...first bad childhood...dad left mom for another women when i was 12...saw parents got divorced at 16....mom started affair post divorce...only to take care of us....but abused, beaten and ... abused all the time...eventually left that man too....sister, about my age...ran away from home with her boyfriend...only to come back when dumped...she was 16 then...she got married at 18 and i hear that she is happy now with kids and husband...though she has had string of extra marital affairs...i was good at studies...actually very smart...got gold medals...scholarships...exceled in career...met a girl...and guess what...2 years later she dumped me...why? i donno...one day she said going to market...and never came back!....for real...later on told....she found someone else...world came down for me....almost killed myself...but got hold...again focussed on body building...career...studies....reached new levels...bought expensive car....house...loads of money...(well for me going from $5 per hour to a salary of $250,000 a year was lots of money by my standards)...then met another women....guess what....i had affair with her for two years....spend lots on her....5 star hotels...gifts...international visits every month....when it came to marriage...i suddenly lost my job....financial meltdown....and as usual repeat telecast of bad luck....she decided to go on with another dude in her city whose father was rich....reason for break up?...i cannot offer her financial security!.....
i feel shattered now....all i did for someone...she left me in a second just because i dont have money any more!
(she actually gave me this reason)...and wola....she was out with another man!....worst hit was....i went to see her on her birthday....(took international 10 hour flight)...guess what...she said....sorry i am busy...cant see u...out with parents on holiday....and later i found that she was out with this new man!
i feel shattered now....no money...no family....i am 32 now....really wanted kids....i am really ambitious...but keep failing at my own plans every single day....motivation is like down the gutter..

every single day i try to get up on my feet....many times a day....but then again back to same loop....
its so low that i am worried about my own self now...

is it too unreasonable to ask for a woman who would love me...or is it only that...if times are good....we are with you...if times are bad....lets find someone new?
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 2nd, 2012
alright then, i am writing on this forum becuase i cannot share this with my parents or my two close friends, i guess, writing on this page would lemme go away with some burden, a heavy one.. i had good schooling, had lot of confidence as a child, was very competitive and one with lot of ambitions.but now gosh, everything has changed...strtaed when i was in 12 standard, parents started fighting a lot, i mean that was the stage when one has to build his or her career but i guess i was just too dependent on my so called friends who do not even call me now...i really blame my parents for me not finding solace at home and spending time with my frnds, who are now more successful than me in life..!**@! facebook, u can see everything about everyone ..then i had a bf in my life, i ws so happy, everyone use to compliment me about his looks, his good nature and even i thanked god for giving him to me, i mean he was a source of happiness for me.. anyways, got married and then happy goes sad.. lost my job, its been one and a half year and i am nt able to finda decent job.. low on self confidence and all those crazy wrods associated with sadness, depression, lonely..i cud never thought that he wud ever hit me, but he did, yeah, he does.. even i lose my cool easilybut he physically abused me first and then it now has resulted in to a hatred, i mean, i dnt feel like discussing anything with him, i feel like sitting in the nights and glaring in to the lives of people on fb, financially yes, i have become weak, and insecure.. everybody has gone ahead in life, accomplishing things. i dnt feel like telling much to my mother as i dnt wanna her to feel sorry for me..neither i have my partner with me to discuss the worst phase of my life and that is too be unemployed, my ambitions have been crushed to death, i had a dog, lost him..i always beleived in God since childhood but have realized one thing that it is the karma that we have to suffer the plight of in this birth, neither god or any heavenly force can change ur bad luck, u have to go through it.. i use to be looked upon by people and now..now its juust me. just me.. have gained weight..struggling to reduce it..so much to say but with a broken heart.. shared with u all as i cant share it with others , only to feel humiliated .i dnt know when was the last time , i was happy..
|
Did you find this post helpful?