I come "home" everyday, but I dont feel at home, then I move in with my grandparents, I still dont feel at home, I look in the mirror I feel beautiful thats because my boyfriend always calls me beautiful ...but before that never, it was always my sister getting all the compliments from family, and friends ...and I have a history with cutting, drugs, burning myself, anything to feel at least alive, but I stopped for 2-3 months now, and I was feeling great, but all of a sudden I just feel so pulled down. I think about everything, if I cut or do anything to harm myself, my boyfriend will get mad, but thats one of the things bothering me, I dont want to stop because people are telling me to, I want to stop because I can do it, but if he breaks up with me I'm sure I'll go back to cutting, witch isent the right thing to do ...just hes the only bit of happiness coming to my life ...me and my mom never had a relationship, and if I try and talk to her or "bond" inviting her to watch a movie or something, she'd either leave to go talk with my father, or my sister would call her or something ...this happens almost everytime I invite anyone to spend at least a little time with me, I feel like I'm going to explode, I have nothing, nothing to just get out how I'm feeling, I could talk to someone but, I either get the wrong responces, or I'll feel worse after word ...I just really dont know what to do anymore, I love my boyfriend, and I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to hurt me anymore either ...just I feel like just killing myself. Please help.
Dont worry i feel like killing myself all the time. but you see i still cutt myself and i have been for years now. i dont know how to stop and it is hard for me to reach out to get the help i need. but it different with me because i get called beautiful all the time and im popular but i guess im insane but it doesnt help mee but maybe if you reach out to someone you ca find the help that you need and it would be a maricle if i could do that but i just cant. so good luck to you.
I just feel so alone..dat i can keep on crying hours n hours..notng is dere in my life. Nor doo i hve family..neither i hve friends...its alwaz me taking to me...yes i hve a bf..but i dont know..i.dont luv him...i dont luv anybody..i hate my family..i dont hve frnds..my frnfrndz left me..or shuld i say..evrtym i mke new frnds...after sumtym i left dem..i feel comfortable alone..i hve hair on my face...i dnt go to public...my bf has nvr seen my fve...i knw if sees my lyk dis..he wll nvr luv me..i hate my self..i want to kill myself..i wanr to torture my myself...i want to run away from dis lyf...i want to live were nobody knows me...where i hve no family...i could make new frnds foreve...who luv me nd my face...i dont knw wat to say..i m so alone..nd crying..dat hardly nybodys comes d stop me..i just feeld ruined..i donot..idont luv myself...i alwaz think to oders...who hve god bofdy nd face...god has given me alot i knw..but stil y hes has given me face lyk dis...ihate
I know you people dont know me if I told you about me it would make you think twice I was in an orphanage
been in 31 different homes then a training school
then got married shortly after got a divorce she was in love with someone else then went out with a girl for awhile then got herpes I havent dated for 30 years
Im looking after my foster father hes 87 years old now
we are living in a hick town you cant make friends in this town because i came from a different province
im an adult orphan nobody gives a damn about me thats why im so rude to everybody that talks with me in this hick town they started it now im rebelling against the world I really dont care if i live or die loneliness will kill you believe me i really dont care about my life sure they say life is what you make it i tried sorry but nobody cares I was a mistake when i was born