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I feel alone and crying on the inside

Hi there,

I'm having a hard time dealing with tonight. I'm going through a bad stage in a relationship. I've lost connection to my long distance girlfriend. My feelings are still really strong but she's not communicating like she used to. I've asked her about it and she said it's true, she has lost some feeling for me. It is partly my fault - I was not communicating well with her too a few weeks ago. I just felt I needed space to think about the relationship and where it was going, or space from it. Long distance is so hard I know, and we have a cultural difference too. I just thought we could make it work, even though we have a lot of disagreements and miscommunication. I thought with positive feeling and care for each other, we could get through those barriers. It seems like the negative has outweighed the positive for her, and she is giving up.

So tonight, I feel like it's not going to happen. And I'm feeling really sad and alone. I'm not crying on the outside, but on the inside there is pain. It feels heavy and energy sapping. And last week, I had no motivation to do anything. Normally I go to the gym, eat healthily, but last week I could barely eat and I have not been sleeping well. I feel like I've been retracting from society. I don't want to talk to anyone, and going to work is a burden. I would dearly like to be happier or be able to see through this. See that even if it doesn't work out, I will be able to feel this way about another girl in the future. She's not the only one. Or, maybe it can still work out. Maybe it's all in my head? I just want to be able to get through the next few days without suffering every minute of the day.

Thanks for listening.
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replied December 10th, 2011
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Hi Kevin,

What you are experincing is a combination of several emotions. The end to a long relationship which you have put in alot of time and effort. The reality that it isn't working out. The committment itself. The fear of starting over. The uncertainty as to are you doing the right thing by ending it. This is normal when you close one chapter in your life where you have ivested a part of your life to. Don't rush these feelings, let them play out on their own. I think you both know the relationship is over and really when you think about it it is for the best, despite the pain you are now feeling. The most important thing both of you should take fromt this is, it is better to be in a relationship where each of the other is close enough by that you can get in the car be within driving distancce away. Breakups are always painful but as you get older it becomes more wear and tear on you and it takes longer to overcome. No matter what stick to your gun and realize it is better to just be as platonic friends than girlfriend and boyfriend.

Good Luck,

Faded Rose
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replied December 14th, 2011
You are not alone!

It's really sad long distance relationship idk if i could ever manage to have one .. but i guess it all depends on the person. Some can make it others not unfortunately. But hey
life its not all about GIRLS lol ..it is more than that!.
Encourage yourself , try to get yourself into fun activities. GO OUT with yours friends ... if not having any at all (i could give you my e-mail) so we can talk whenever your feeling alone !!

Good luck Kevin Smile
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replied December 16th, 2011


You are SO not alone Kevin. This has been one of the hardest and most painful periods of time in my life, and that's saying something, as I have experienced death in my family and a few other things that you THINK would trump the triviality of a breakup. But man-oh-man, this hurts. This hurts like nothing else. I find most of the so-called advice that is put out there to be trite, and basically repititive junk. I don't want to be with friends--they are all married, and happy. I can't find joy in activities and hobbies that I have, because what's the point, when there is no one there to share them with? I'm angry, sad, and I have no legitimate forum or place to express that anger and confusion. I blog. It's what I do, and I find it helps. I wish you luck, and peace.
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