I Fear This Heartbreak Will Never End....

His attempts to get in touch with you is just his guilt of hurting you. Your torment of thinking about it will only stay with you if you let it. I'm trying my best to let go of someone I poured myself out to only to be rejected by her. Love is a gamble, hold your cards untill you know its a sure bet, its what I'm telling myself and its getting me thru each day. Everyone is telling me that time heals broken hearts. I don't understand this yet myself but I'm taking that advise from those who have been hurt on unimaginable levels. He will always be on your mind just like she's always on mine. Let it go anyway you can as much as you don't want too. We will find the one we are meant to be with. It's the ones along the way that hurt us that we aren't meant to be with. I hope this helps in some way.

Thank you so much for the reply - it means a lot to have someone tell me that they know what I am going through.

To hear that him getting in touch with me is just his guilt makes me so much stronger. When I feel like crumbling and picking up the phone to him I remember he is just feeling guilty and that it's not love that's making him call me.

I also think about when I told him I was close to suicide and he just shrugged his shoulders and sighed 'don't be ridiculous.' Every time he texts me to tell me how sad he is, every time he tells my friends that he's breaking down, I remember how he didn't care if I was dead or alive, I remember how he slept with someone else and enjoyed telling me, I remember how he took all the love I had for him and destroyed it. I think about how sad I was, and how happy he was to see me that sad, to see me that desperate, to watch me beg. He can't touch me now.

Thank you

Good luck Ellie some guys are truly ass holes. No girl deserves that.

I've done something really stupid. In my first post I wrote that this boy had started texting and calling me again and after another text one morning I caved in. I texted him back and from that day onwards we were seeing each other again.

I can't tell you how low I am again right now, and once again it's all my own fault. For stumbling and letting him back in. In the last week I have lost my job and and being kicked out of my house. Upon finding this out, he didn't put his arms around me and tell me everything would be ok - instead - he told me I deserved it and left me.

I don't know what it is about this boy that makes me go back for another kicking. Do I feel I need to prove my worth to him? Do I feel that only he is the one that can pass judgement on my life and that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks?

I can't do this anymore. It's been four years and he has split up with me more times than I can count. Has anyone else ever been stuck in this rut? And how did you get out? How do I get the confidence to tell him to leave me alone for good? in my last post I said 'he can't touch me now' so what made me falter? Why did I go back on myself and go back with him? In my last post I felt so much better and happier, he had kept trying to get in touch with me and had spoken to my friends to try and get me to contact him - why didn't I just leave it? Why did I feel sorry for him and try to make him feel better when he has treated me so badly for four years?

What is WRONG with me?

I've done something really stupid. In my first post I wrote that this boy had started texting and calling me again and after another text one morning I caved in. I texted him back and from that day onwards we were seeing each other again.

I can't tell you how low I am again right now, and once again it's all my own fault. For stumbling and letting him back in. In the last week I have lost my job and and being kicked out of my house. Upon finding this out, he didn't put his arms around me and tell me everything would be ok - instead - he told me I deserved it and left me.

I don't know what it is about this boy that makes me go back for another kicking. Do I feel I need to prove my worth to him? Do I feel that only he is the one that can pass judgement on my life and that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks?

I can't do this anymore. It's been four years and he has split up with me more times than I can count. Has anyone else ever been stuck in this rut? And how did you get out? How do I get the confidence to tell him to leave me alone for good? in my last post I said 'he can't touch me now' so what made me falter? Why did I go back on myself and go back with him? In my last post I felt so much better and happier, he had kept trying to get in touch with me and had spoken to my friends to try and get me to contact him - why didn't I just leave it? Why did I feel sorry for him and try to make him feel better when he has treated me so badly for four years?

What is WRONG with me?

wow..i didnt expect to read the last part.i was about to ask you how are you coping now since i am in a similar situation.i cant let go even if he is about to marry somebody else...it is very difficult to be fight our own feelings.i have tried but just like you.i keep falling back.

You go back because you hope that this time it'll be better. This time, he'll treat you with the respect and love that you deserve. You see the 'potential' that he has to be wonderful...

SLAP YOURSELF. It's not going to be different. The only real potential he has is to be in a destructive relationship. He steps on you so he can feel good about himself.

Next time, my dears, remember, you DESERVE better. Much better than that. Stay strong!

Now climb out of the rut. He's not going to change but you can.

I know why I went back. It was because I wasn't enjoying my new job, I wasn't confident in my new relationship and I was on my own in a new city. I had a moment of weakness and caved into his texts. And I know why he came back - because it looked like I was on top of my game. New city, new job, new man, new friends - he wanted to mess it all up and bring me back down...and he did.

I feel much, much better now. I don't know where I have found the strength from but I have powered through and it feels absolutely amazing - I am finally free! I just want to tell anybody that has been in the same position as me - it WILL get better. Don't dwell on the good times, don't think about the words that are said - just concentrate on YOU.

When you reach rock bottom, the only way is up. And in the same way, after being treated like nothing for four years - I have found my breaking point. And it doesn't matter whether he thinks about me, whether he misses me, whether or not he even cares, because the spell has been broken and I can finally see - that the person who was supposed to care about me the most in the world, actually cared about me the least.

I know that things are not straight forward in these situations - but I am here for anyone who needs the strength to carry on...

Hi

I have been struggling for exactly 7 months. I couldn't marry the guy I really loved due to family pressure and so I ended a two year relationship. He was willing to wait for me as long as it took for us to make it work but I wasn't sure my family circumstances would ever change and I didn't think I'd be able to marry him so eventually I ended the relationship as I was getting so stressed an feeling do guilty.
I tried to be strong but after approximately one year I got back in contact with him. And I was told that I was three weeks late as he had gotten married.
I never contacted him again after that but there hasn't been a single day I didn't think about him. I wake up feeling sick every morning. I feel like crying for my own stupidity. I don't know what to do.

This must be so, so hard for you. But what I would say is that if the relationship was making you sad and causing you stress then you did the right thing. I am almost certain that you couldn't have done anything else and you made the choice that you had to.

Part of how you feel is about not being able to have the thing you want. If you can accept that he was forced to move on and marry someone else, you can get through anything.

Don't see it as something that you missed out on, because that wasn't your future - your future will be bright and it won't be heavy with worry, stress and tears. Right now, you need to concentrate on you.

My boyfriend was also my best friend, told me he loved me, I was his soulmate, was soooooooooo affectionated, loving, helping me in everything, we had such a conection and love, we had a fantastic sex life, full of love and desire, we laughed together, it was perfect, till one day his ex came back and he went back to her without batting an eyelid,I nearly died, afeter some time he sent me a message saying he loved us both!!!!!!!!!! and kept sending me romantic songs till late in the night. He also said he still wanted to travel to Europe with me, what I rejected. Now Im still terribly brokenhearted and do not understand where all his love is gone.

My boyfriend was also my best friend, told me he loved me, I was his soulmate, was soooooooooo affectionated, loving, helping me in everything, we had such a conection and love, we had a fantastic sex life, full of love and desire, we laughed together, it was perfect, till one day his ex came back and he went back to her without batting an eyelid,I nearly died, afeter some time he sent me a message saying he loved us both!!!!!!!!!! and kept sending me romantic songs till late in the night. He also said he still wanted to travel to Europe with me, what I rejected. Now Im still terribly brokenhearted and do not understand where all his love is gone.

Hey guys,

In my last post about my situation I told you that the spell had been broken and that I was free. And whilst I was enjoying myself, going out, meeting new people, starting a new relationship and forgetting all about the last four years, guess who turns up one morning at my door asking for another chance.

Having him turn up my house turned my world upside down again. I had finally broken free and now I was thinking about him all the time again and what 'could be'. Somehow I found the strength to tell him to leave me alone for good and to explain to him how happy I had been. Before now, I would have relented and gone back to him after a few pathetic lines about how he missed me and how I was his 'one true love' that 'no-one will ever live up to'. He explained to me that God had told him we were meant to be together. What a load of crap. THIS time, I saw through it.

It's been four weeks since he turned up at my house and since I told him to stay away from me for good and for some reason, I am thinking about him a lot. When he split up with me on the day that I lost my job, I felt good, I felt relief ..but since he turned up again I am now faltering. It's not that I want him back, it's not that I want his love, his conversation, his time...so what is it? Is it that I want his attention? Is that it?

Is it because we can have no contact at all that I think about him and what he's doing? If we could be civil to each other, would that break the spell and make me realise that he is nothing special after all? Does the mystery keep it exciting? Is this pain all because I want something that I can't have?


ilsehelen - You're problem is so awful. That a man can mess with your head like this is so unjust and unfair. You need to be strong and ignore him. He can't have you both, and if he chooses to be with her over you then hold your head high and walk away. Think of the future with another man who won't take you for granted. Find someone who loves you more than you love them. And put all your energy into laughing, friendships, eating well, travelling, making the most of every second. Concentrate on building new happy memories and whatever you do, never put him first again.