I don't seem to be ever in the mood and I can't help it.

Hi ET27 and welcome to ehealth: Probably every other woman alive forces herself to sometimes go this route in life...We just plain are not in the mood...

My best advice is to try spacing it out...Three times a week when you are young is good...Try making it interesting...When he is coming home try and turn yourself on...Think back on those first days...Try different places...Be daring...If you are in a dress then go without panties...Believe me I could list more, but I will pass for fear of shocking, but they are all good memories....Actually some make me blush as "it was good"...

One last thing..Do you love this guy or are you just boyfriend and girlfriend without passion...IMO, convenience love that only puts sex as its focal point, can be a drag...Take care...

Caroline

Hi Caroline,
thank you for your reply and for your advice. I tried different ways how to turn myself on, but it never lasts for too long. After several days I just can't do it anymore...
And as far as the last question... I do love him. Although it is different now that it was at the beginning. But doesn't that happen to all couples? How is it possible for the other people to stay so passionate and into each other, and I seem to loose interest? I appreciate him as a partner and friend, but sex is not that important to me. I wish there was a pill that would make me turned on =)

Hi ET27....No, it doesn't happen to all couples...Things may slow down, but you must keep that part of yourself alive that first found the happiness of making love...Thinking back when I was younger I was not as hungry for sexual gratification as I was as I aged....Funny as it may seem, I believe the books are wrong in this respect...They say we are in the height of our passion in our 20's, whereas I found the late 30's and 40's were great and into the 50's it was like being a cat on a hot tin roof....

Unfortunately, the sexual wants of a man and a woman are not the same...I believe a lot of what you feel is felt by many women, including myself of years ago...But, my husband could turn me on...I may have fought him mentally, but I did give him time and he proceeded to make a liar out of me...

If you love him and plan on marrying him, then this part of you must remain alive...You see once a woman forgets this special part of herself that is alive, she may find that she enjoys it....Thus, marriages get into trouble and unfortunately there are many other women both willing and able to step in to keep him happy....

As far as keeping it alive, we have been married over 53 years...I have no idea where that time has gone, but it is gone...This morning I awoke to my husband naked in bed beside me...He darn near froze me to death as he had been mailing and gone out with the puppies...Needless to say, he wanted me...and he got his wish...I find that a woman can be awaken, but this is the part of you that must remain alive....As you age you will find that keeping this part of you alive also gives life to your husband/lover....You see at that time in life they need it....

I often wonder why it is that so many women struggle with what you are talking about...As for me, he was the only guy I ever dated that stood me up...Maybe that is why I live in the land of Oz....I still adore him...I send you my best wishes...Take care...

Caroline