Hi, I am 16 and in need of some advice. I have lived my life based on what people think of me. I have changed myself in order to make people think of me well. Even now, my girlfriend of 4 months is saying she misses the old me. She wants me to go back to the way I used to be, not caring about losing her or not trying to make her happy. This is the problem, I don't know who "I" am. I don't remember who I used to be. I've mainly adjusted to please her and I can't remember what I've done. I don't know what else to say, I'm upset right now and really can't think straight. Please help me, I don't want to lose her and I don't want to be this person who can't be himself. Please help me.
Identity is something you'll struggle with for quite a while. You want to be liked, loved, looked up to and respected, as we all do. But which is the "real" you? Hard to say. The changes your going through now are stepping stones to the man you'll become. Here's the real important part- When you wake in the morning and look in the mirror you gotta like what you see there. You need to act in such a way as to make yourself happy, be proud of who you are and what you are becoming. You know why? That face in the mirror is going to stare back at you your whole life, friends come and go but those eyes looking back at you will never change. Maybe the changes you brought about are who you are now. Maybe you have a better understanding of the man you want to become. I myself think your on the right track, and if the girl can't deal with that, you need a new girl that can, or it will be a problem as long as you keep the girl. Being able to be yourself, being able to tweak yourself to make yourself the best person you can be is not a bad thing at all. And you won't please everyone which is why it's so important to please yourself, when it comes to yourself. Relax and just be, the rest will fall into place, and if the girl wanders off she wasn't meant to be. You want someone that will grow WITH you, not change you to their liking..
I wish you well..