Hi, I've never done this before so if I make no sense I really do apologise. I just need someone to talk to.
I'm prectically destroying my own relationship with my boyfriend. I was diagnosed with depression over a year ago I took anti depressants for about 8 months and then took myself off of them as I felt they were not helping me. I have been a million times better since then but the same old things keep coming up in me that I just can't shift for example, if my bf wants to go on a night out it doesn't bother if I gave already arranged to do something myself but if I have no plans then I get really grumpy about things and cause little arguments, like I was going to come home an hour early to see him before he went out but he had already arranged to go earlier meaning I was wasting my time, this upset me because he did not consider me before hand. I don't know how to explain things properly but so much gets me upset inside like if I'm sat on the sofa and him in his chair and he doesn't come and sit with me I instantly think there is something wrong. I guess I am needy which is true because I do need alot of attention but I'm not as bad as I used to be. In painting it like its all just he but he does do stuff wrong like we don't do anything together I hardly know his friends as he won't let me go out to anything social with him and I've been with him 3 years. I've been doing alot of research and I think I have a personality disorder which to me make me think I have a screw loose which frightens me to death cos who would want to be with someone who just causes arguments all the time. I don't know what to do anymore or who to turn to I feel so lost and alone and like nobody understands. I just want to be normal. I love my boyfriend so much and I've turned out to be a totally different person to the one he met. I don't want to lose him. Please help.
antidepressants are only to some extent ,better way is to speak to your bf discuss things . is he really interested in you .does he really love you ??
firstly takecare of your health and then things can go better .
when we try to talk we just argue, he says he is he has put up with so much and he could have easily walked and he hasnt so this gives me hope that he does really love me.
I needs to stop all my worrying and negative thinking i just dont know how.