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I do not like being around my Mom.

Hi, My mom makes me crazy and I feel like I am going insane about this. I feel like I should love her and want to be around her and be happy that I have her in my life. But I am not. I lost me Dad to cancer in 2000 after a 16 year battle. My mom and dad stayed married. My Mom was the primary care giver to my dad those years and her mother my grandmother help a lot. I am scared that If I do what I am feeling I will regret it by a few things one is that my kids will do the same to me and never want to be around me. Two that I will really regret it when she is gone. I for many years thought I wanted to certain relationship with her or any relationship with her for that matter. But now I don't. Every time I see her or shes around me by myself or with the kids this over welming sense of dread anxiety and fear over take me and thats all I can focus on or process. I feel like she is also in a way trying to take over my kids (jealousy maybe??) She literally acts like a parent in the way she responds to them. She also lies often. Is it ok to have a extremely modified relationship with her or will it hurt my relationship with my kids.
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