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I cry and get sad/angry all the time and have no reason to...

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Hey,

I'm a fifteen year old girl from the UK and for the past year and a half I have suffered from what the doctors think is depression. There are two sides to the depression, one that I think is quite unusual.

First of all, I cry all the time even when I have no reason to and I feel so pathetic because of it. I cry at anything from sad music, films and TV programmes to putting my slipper on the wrong feet. I'm serious. I also cry when my mum can't hear me properly and she ignore me, even though she's not doing it intentionally... I don't know why I cry. I am so scared that I am going to lose my boyfriend because of it. I put him through a lot... But he says he loves me for who I am and he's going to help me and protect me... Apart from him I basically have no friends... A few... but not many... A couple of months back my ex-bestfriend had a go at me because I didn't tell her something... she's immature and high maintenance so I gave up on her. So when I stopped talking to her I left the group of friends, not her, leaving me alone. The only person I can really talk to about how I feel is my boyfriend...

Secondly is a very unusual thing, and it scares me so much :'( I've never told anyone, not even my boyfriend...
I feel like someone is there... everywhere I go... Like someone is trying to kill me. Just typing this my eyes are darting around my room to check. Lately I have been going for a shower and getting out within two minutes because I can't stand it. Any loud noise... I hate hoovering my room because it's loud... but I also have OCD so it doesn't stop me doing it... I have to sleep with my light on, which is so embarrassing for a fifteen year old... When I'm walking up the stairs I look behind me to check if someone's there but then I realise that someone could be in front of me so I keep looking up and down and it scares me... :'( If I'm lying in bed and I need a drink but no one is downstairs then I have to remain thirsty because I can't go downstairs myself... It seems so childish but I'm so scared... :'( it worries me so much because sometimes I get so worked up about it I will attempt to run to my room but trip and fall... But I can't get up because I think if I look up someone will be waiting for me. :'( I need to stop typing about this now as I'm starting to get scared...

The last thing I need to mention is that I seem to get angry really easily. Especially with my mum. Iy can be anything that sets me off. I can't think of an example right now but it happens at least every second day...

Please help me.

Please tell me if you're going to email me first... Thank you Sad
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replied April 5th, 2012
Experienced User
Hi lonelyheart97, it seems like there is more than one thing going on. Depression, and a bit more paranoia. I have both extremely bad. I have bipolar disorder and am diagnosed as bipolar NOS right now. There is nothing to be ashamed of because of what you're feeling. I really feel that counseling, or professional help would be the best option for you. Don't be embarrassed, it's not your fault or anything. Feel free to let me know if you want to talk about anything else. Take care!
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replied April 14th, 2012
Hi!
Hi there, I'm 13 and I think that I'm quite similar to you. I am so paranoid that someone is about to come in and kill me or members of my family. I can't have a bath alone in the evening and I can't blowdry my hair because I'm scared of someone coming in and me not wing able to hear it. At night I can't close my eyes because I think someone is in my room and I am constantly looking around. I'm so scared that I sleep in my mums bed every night, which is really embarrassing. I also can't even get out of my bed at night because of the dark and I am just so scared. I was wondering Have you seen the woman in black?? I saw the theatre and movie, and I am VERY scared of that. I also cry the WHOLE time. I just feel useless if I fail at something tiny like if I bring a wrong book to class, or if I drop a glass, or if a sad song comes on the radio, or If I miss a goal in netball. Okay so anyway I started going to a physiatrist at guys hospital (its on the NHS so it's free) and she has put me up for a CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) course. Look it up on the Internet to find out about it. I'm just about to start it and it's got a 100% success rate so I'm feeling hopefull. I also get really angry with my younger sister the wholee time, about any tiny annoying thing. My physiatrist said that I have very severe anxiety and depression ( I have had lots of suicidal thoughts and am constantly feeling down and like nothing is worth staying alive for.) please have a look at CBT and ask your mum to look into it and also it's worth getting a therapist to talk things over with, I find it helpful, but then again, everyone's different. I really hope this works for you, good luck. I really sympathise for you as I think we are very similar. Smile best of luck xxx
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replied September 23rd, 2012
hello,
just read this, im 20 and i can talk to anyone about how i feel me and my boyfriend are always arguing because of nothing and its me who starts it i get anrgy all the time, cry over nothing and sometimes i just wish i wasnt here cause no one would notice a difference. im scared of everything i do. everything annoys me and makes me really anrgy and i want to lash out. at frist i thought it was the pill but realised when i changed it wasnt, i dunno who to talk to or what to say to the doctor if i went to him
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replied September 23rd, 2012
hello,
just read this, im 20 and i can talk to anyone about how i feel me and my boyfriend are always arguing because of nothing and its me who starts it i get anrgy all the time, cry over nothing and sometimes i just wish i wasnt here cause no one would notice a difference. im scared of everything i do. everything annoys me and makes me really anrgy and i want to lash out. at frist i thought it was the pill but realised when i changed it wasnt, i dunno who to talk to or what to say to the doctor if i went to him
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replied November 4th, 2012
Same
I know exactly how your feeling, I cry constantly over nothing, shout and snap at people I care about, like my dad, boyfriend and mum for no reason, I get so paranoid about going to the toilet day or night, whenever I am I have a fear of flushing the toilet, strange right. I am also the same I will not go downstairs unless someone is up when It's night time for a drink or anything. I would love to help you, but I seriously do not know why it's happening, I haven't been to the doctor about it, but maybe I should. If you have been given Any good advice since putting your post up. Please tell me <3 hope your ok now x
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replied October 10th, 2013
please any advice
Hi
I get angry easily by my siblings and at my mom. I get sad , feel bad, cry, & get paranoid as well. I argue with my boyfriend almost everyday. I feel Worthless and everytime i say some or anything to anybody theres no response from what I'v just said like i didnt say anything at all. My boyfriend sometimes wakes me up cause im crying in my sleep but i dont remeber why. My boyfriend and i argue alot and i get all sad and cry. Im scared to use the restroom, flush the toilet i get irritated from loud noises, I yell alot and im forgetfull.. And yet no one that knows me doesn't see these problems :'( I wish i could change and feel safer and happier but i just can't open my mouth and say it to anyone not my mom my dad my boyfriend anyone , Cause if i do they would think theres nothing wrong with you! they dont see any of what i said in me *
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