I am 19.For the last 5 years i have been feeling very stressed and also depressed.
I worry i might not concentrate when learning,reading,talking with someone and when i am worried and stressed i really don't focus.I feel very insecure because of this and
depressed.I always think "what if i can not focus when speaking with someone,i will look like an idiot",what if "i can not focus when learning" i wouldn't be able to finish college.The thing is that when i want to prove to myself that i can focus and say"Ok ,let read this article and focus on it"i don't focus at all,i just analyse myself to see if i focus and realise i don't focus(you can not do two things in the same time).Or i say "Think of something else,don't worry about focusing,forget it"
I don't think of anything,i just stay and don't do anything,just analyse myself to see if i am focusing on something else and feel empty,i feel stuck with this thought that i can not focus,and when try to think of something else i feel can not leave this thought and move to other,i feel no motivation.
This doesn't happen all the time ,because i read sports news and i can focus,i get good grades at college,but sometimes i feel i can not focus.when i am stressed and depressed.
For example when i enter a pub i imediately start seeing myself from exterior,through other people eyes and cannot focus.I say to myself"focus,be yourself but i don't feel like myself,i feel empty and can not stop imagining myself from exterior.And when someone asks me something"What do you think about.."
i just give an automatic answer, a common one because i feel empty,i feel i can not focus ,i just don't feel anything,but stress because i realise the situation.
Or when watching tv.I know that when i pay attention to what show is on i don't see
the surroundings of the room.Sometimes when watching tv i check to see if i am seeing the surroundings and realise i see them and that i don't focus and can not stop seeing the surroundings of the room.
Whenever i propose to do a mental task and say"Concentrate on reading,think of etc"i feel disconnected,i feel weird,i just look at myself and see i don't think of anything,i don't feel myself, i feel stuked and get a feeling of guilt and anger wondering what is happening.I don't have confidence,i am very insecure.
What do you think?
I'm sorry that I don't have any advice or anything...I just wanted to comment that you're not alone, I feel the same way. I'm in highschool and I've been doing a bit of research to find out how I feel. I stumbled upon this article and its almost as if I wrote it. I feel the same way.
If I find anything I'll keep you posted on it...Best of luck to you ^_^!
Hi Guys, I also feel the same. All the time.. but my past was glorious. I was among state toppers and secured very good admission in my country's top most school and that is exactly what makes me think that I was better and I CAN BE BETTER AGAIN. I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP FIGHTING WITH MYSELF. I suggest you also not to give up. Have faith in you. Knowing that the problem exists is the first step towards solving it.
I ve been feeling that way for a very long time. I am too occupied trying to find out what initiated this in the first place. My life has witnessed many traumatic events and i tend to be a very sensitive person. I am 32 now and I am lucky to be where i am at work, but i just know that i cna do better. I feel just the same as what is written in the first post. the emptiness, but there is one thing that is persistent. I always feel that i am meant to do something very important with my life, i keep jumping from one interest to another but i really dont know if this is because i was meant to do something bigger than what i am currently doing or it is just that i am sick!
I'm a doctoral student working on my dissertation, and I also feel the same way as many of the posters describe. The worst part for me is that I feel stuck in a vicious circle, wherein (1) I can't get myself to focus, (2) which leads to me missing deadlines, (3) which leads me to feeling depressed and ashamed of my inability to meet my targets, (4) which makes it even harder for me to focus because I start to feel worse and worse about my academic career, life and future success.
I wish I could help folks with this problem, but if I can't help myself, I don't see how I can help anyone else. However, I must say it does feels good to write this down. Thanks for reading it.
Like everyone else who has stumbled onto this forum I am currently in a low point in my life. The only words of wisdom that I have to pass on is that life is cinema and we are the only ones who can choose how to film the movie of our lives. When was the last time you watched a movie that did not have a part where the protagonist was struggling in some way? Let the movie roll on! It feels great to know I am not alone experiencing the not so perfect life. Stay strong and try and enjoy the little things that we usually take for granted.
do any of you smoke pot? i am having the same exact conflicts within myself, and used to be the most fun outgoing person. all my friends used to love who i was and now i dont have very many cept the ones who were closest to me. i did move out of town tho, and have toked once in a while before. but it seems that after i started smokin pot more regularly, due to progressing plain old anxiety, I didnÃ¢spamï¿½t realize at first, but its like my brain started to talk inside me about everything i was thinking and doing, and it has progressively gotten worse.. and now i feel like i am so aware of myself, that i cant BE myself. but it is more the fact that there is a constant fog that i cant think past, i can almost feel when i hit this wall, usually when i am trying to think ahead.. because all i seem to do is re-hash things that dont matter, even to me! i am always thinking of something that happened or was said and my thoughts crowd around the topic without me realizing until its too late.. and i am not thinking, bad thoughts necessarily, but dwelling thoughts? it is hard to explain cause I know I dont care about it inside myself, or in the long run, but then why is it floating around there? i purposely change my thought pattern yet 5 mins later woops! i was thinking that same situation again! then comes the most severe anxiety, just knowing that it is my own brain stopping my brain! And it also used to be only once in while like fluttering butterflies, not a full panic attack which I have had in the past before I smoked.. no full attacks since tho. but for about 6 to 8 months now i have not woken up nor felt at any time during the day or sleepless nights that i am the normal me, be it health or personality... in other words my heart beats very high, it does not slow down, even when I sleep which makes it very hard to get any at all. I wake many times with my heart already racing, and even when it slows a little i cant sleep because i am paranoid about my loss of sleep and am afraid i will have to pee soon and get back up.. lol. i find myself going to the bathroom as soon as i wake up just so i can stop thinking about weather i MIGHT have to go.. my heart rate keeping up is probably due to the fact that my brain is working at the same belligerent pace yet I am not really focusing on anything at all. which in turn causes irregular breathing because I am not paying attention to myself Ã¢spam and circles round to keep my heart rate pumping hard.. . i am so preoccupied with whats going on inside my body and once tip-top brain i forget what it feels like to be ME, and that is what scares me the most, that i will never be back to the happy outspoken carefree me.... the only problem is I am a strong believer that every one has the power within themselves, and their own psyche to think into reality anything they strongly desire. Why can I not do this any more? don't say the weed cause if any thing it has helped in certain areas, it may not have helped in the progressing of, but i have since found a personal effective dosage that doesnt turn me into a lazy zombie.. i toke a couple puffs to take my mind off the racing strip each day for an hour or so lol. I used to be able to coast thru life on autopilot, not have to think, because my brain was so strong and knew what I wanted and what every one else wanted all the time without a thought in the world. Now i overthink EVERYTHING and cant make it stop no matter how hard i try to use my FULL brain to overpower the little peices of brain i am using.. confidence is what i am lacking so badly right now. how do i gain something like that back with my brain how it is now? I am not giving up, I consistently search for others input on the topic and dont rule anything out, incorporate what seems to help even the slightest, or if it had even one time. We are the only ones in full control of ourselves, even when we feel we are not, and no one else can see whats inside. even when your shaking inside thinking what am i going to say or do? flash a solid smile on the outside, and feel it. it may ease your situation already! i just try to remember that time is my best friend because these types of feelings took a life time (with out you knowing until it was too late!) to build up inside you, and it is going to take more than a day of realization to back-peddle until you feel the real difference. i almost felt the REAL feeling of happy again the other day, as i have been working hard on not thinking at all unless it is to focus on what i am physically doing, to allow my natural feelings come thru again as they please. the next day i let myself slip, i didnt keep my brain in order, and it ruined the last few months of hard work to get to that almost happy feeling. i was back to not even being able to eat without my cheeks tingling to toss it back up each bite. some advise that has worked on occasion for me, but more often than others: although it seems opposite, be alone with your thoughts, breathe deep and slow and let them flow, whether they are negative or just dwelling, and let them tell you something anything they want. keep your breathing slow and steady, then tell them strongly back what you REALLY think. your not a schizo, you are healing yourself thru self meditation lol. I wish the best of luck to all who are in any situation that renders them depressed or anxious. Stay strong <3