I can't

I'm not as fine as I look. I won't be. For a while, if I ever am.

Every time I think I'm recovering, it seems I just get lead on more.

All chances of happiness I ever had with anyone else have been crushed, because I will never be able to love anyone like I loved you.

It seems that as our friendship grows stronger so does my pain. I want you to be happy but I can't stand to see it with anyone else. You broke me. Twice. In less than a month.

As if this isn't enough, you're the only person who understands what I'm feeling. But now that you're the one dealing the pain, it's different. But it seems like every time I break under pressure after trying to avoid the subject, my chances get smaller.

And to top it all off, whenever I close my eyes to go to sleep, all I can see is you. And it kills me.

My best friend is the one who broke my heart. The one who Knows more about me than I do. The true me. And I've forgiven him. After the pain you've put me through I shouldn't have. But I can't live without you in my life. I care far too much to show how deep you've cut me. There's already a physical scar to show it, but the emotional damage is far deeper.