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I Can't Stop Thinking About Her

I was recently involved in well a fling with this woman however now I am heartbroken. All the traditional red flags were there, meaning I knew she was to young for me (she was 21 years old so it was legal), she had a boyfriend who she lived with at the time, etc. I chose to ignore those signs because I will be honest she was extremely attractive and I had been curious about her for a while. To make a long story short, from the end of October to Valentines Day we had sex very often but what I thought were true feelings arose. I love you was exchanged many many times. She used to leave me text messages declaring that her love for me was greater than her love for anyone she has previously known, that I saved her from a breaking point in her life, you get the picture. We spent lots of time together, I spent lots of money on her by my own choice, etc. We had our differences, I was not to keen with her past sexual history, which I did NOT ask her about because I truly did not want to know, which brought out my insecurities not to mention again that she had a live in boyfriend that she was now cheating on so trust was something I never had for her. With all of these glaring faults I was still swept away in a whirlwind of her words and physical attributes. I know this all sounds like nothing more than infatuation and I am sure a large part of this was but somewhere in all of this fluff actual feelings developed. She claims to have loved me, I know I loved her on some level. Did I see her having my children? No. I never really mentioned dating primarily because she had a boyfriend and I did not want her to go from one relationship to another.

Fast forward to last week. I found out she went on a date, of course I found out because of her Facebook post, well we fought via text where she proceeded to tell my that she could still go on dates and still have feelings for me, she did not want to have feelings for me because she would never date me now, She calmed down and that Monday I told her that I still loved her and she replied and I love you. On Wednesday of that same week she told me that she stopped loving me completely. To be fair she said at the end of February that she realized rhat she did not love me like she used to. Now this week she told me that she really likes someone else and that I just need to leave her alone and back off.

How in the world does someone cut a person, that they said at one point that they loved the most ever, out of their life so easily. I am so hung up over this that I can't focus on anything else, I know I should not contact her anymore but I want to. What do I do? I can't move on
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replied March 30th, 2011
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Hi ABrokenMan and welcome to ehealth:...First and foremost she is young...she is just and I say just, growing into the woman that she will be...She has the world at her fingers...Men love her...She doesn't want to be coupled or chained to any man in life...Even if she did, it would be a mistake...You mentioned an age difference...To some women this can mean a lot...To others none...To me this would mean a lot....

How does she cut you off like this?...IMO, the same reason that she uses the words "I love you"....They are words...Only words..To her they have no meaning...They just fit into the time and place in life where she is...They have and will be used often and possibly sometime in her life she will find the true meaning of what they are...

What can you do?....Move on...Write her a note and then destroy it...Don't send it...Let this part of yourself learn from this lesson in life...Grow...It's something that we all have to do...Honey, time cures a broken heart...Only time...I wish you well...Take care...

Caroline
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