I am 22 year old female and having a bit of a start-of-life crisis, I suppose. Nobody around me takes anything I say seriously, I guess because everyone has trouble during this time. The thing is, I''ve always been very strong and worked through things before. I have battled depression and was diagnosed as manic when I was younger.
I don''t know if it is because of all the change I''ve been through in such a short time or the people around me. Where I am currently living and where I grew up seem very different and I have always had trouble finding friends that share my interests. I don''t like to drink, which definitely puts me at a disadvantage at my age. I believe I have some anxiety issues only because going into public places for me is completely nerve racking. I can''t go into a Walmart without breaking into a sweat. I''ve tried everything to calm down, but sometimes it just makes it worse. I don''t know what it is I am so worried about most of the time, whether it''s the large groups or the atmosphere. In addition to my people-phobia, I worry about everything. For example, my issue at the moment is that I am starting a new job soon after being unemployed for a little while and am unable to function (for lack of a better term). I can''t sleep, I get nervous and anxious, irritable and severely depressed. I act like this whenever something significant occurs in my life and it just --completely consumes me--. I find myself reasoning with suicide, however am not afraid I would ever actually attempt anything like that. Sometimes I just get so upset that I black out, experience blurred vision, or become physically ill (migraines, nausea, fever). I feel like I am not living my life and I don''t know what to do anymore. I''m just trying to get by and go to school, but all of this is holding me back.
Is there anything that can help me? If it''s all in my head, how can I deal with this?
Also, I have suffered from amenorrhea for about 3 to 4 years now. I haven''t had health insurance since after 8 months had went by, a time in which they had prescribed birth control. I was never able to fill the prescription and did not feel that the doctors had performed a full examination (the clinic appointed a male resident that barely spoke English as my doctor). At any rate, I am not sure if this could have some correlation.