Medical Questions > Relationships > Single and Struggling Forum

i am 34 and i have never dated, ever!!!

i am 34 and have never been on one date! literally
and gosh its nothing i have done or not done
i am just not attractive
and not is not self esteem
guys just have never been interested enough
i feel left out
most of my friends
actually right now
all of my friends are married
some have kids
and i dont
i cant have kids
not only do i feel left out
i feel behind

i cant have kids
actually i was told i had a gender reassignmentt surgery when i was young
i have no female parts of any kind
genetics tests concluded i was supposed to be a boy
chromosomally i am xy not xx

i was raised a girl
whatever that means
but i never experienced anything a normal girl experienced
no firt period
that was never going to happen
no first date
no first dance
no first kiss
i have experienced none of that
and i am very mad at this!!!!!!!

hmm being shy is irrelevant
and self esteem is a cop outi dont revert too

guys dont know my medical condition
so how does any of that have anything to do with me not dating

this has depressed me
leaves me hopeless
leaves me beyond confused
and religious people are ignorant
and offer no solution
and are very dumb about this

bottom line
what most people get to experience and take for granted
i never experienced

basically i am without a gender
as i dont identify with either

i am not feminine
anti girly

i like what guys like
except gals in that way

also why are some poeple defined by their sexual preference
like that person is straight or gay
come one
they are being labeled by that
so they are not a person
but are defined by sexual orientation

i can never have sex
i have no desire for sex

many poeple have counted me out for marriage
ok
but if a relationship allegedly cannot survive without it
why aer so many ones failing with it?
and they do

thanks
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Users who thank kam1975 for this post: Bambie34 

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replied September 4th, 2009
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have you ever thought about getting an account with myspace, facebook, and twitter. you can meet so many people that way. you can specify what you are looking for and hopefully come across someone that has the same interest as you.
have you tried dating sites, or date lines.
these maybe silly ideas but i m just throwing some ideas out there for you.
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Users who thank starship33 for this post: Bambie34 

replied January 15th, 2010
I can relate to you in some ways. I am a man and I have never had a girlfriend. Due to an injury, I might be infertile. Women stop replying to me online once they have seen my pictures. I'm not persistent enough or motivated enough to pursue someone. I'm 33 and still single. I want sex, but never had it. To say the least, I'm sad if not depressed. Like you, I also feel left behind.

Somehow I wish that there's a dating web site for rejected people like me, but I have a feeling that some if not most rejected people would not want another rejected person.

For what it's worth, I just want you to know that you're not alone in being unwanted and unexperienced in many things in life. I'm on the same boat too. I try to live a happy single life, and try to stay positive in my thinking of things.

I've thought of hiring escorts to "get it over with" and experience what I've been missing, but I'm scared of STI's and becoming addicted to it (it's expensive).

Have you ever tried a dating web site called plentyoffish? (You can google it) It's completely free, and you can look for someone who is open to what you are looking for. I wish you the best of luck!

I wish that someone wishes me well regardless of what I am like, and so I would wish you well, regardless of what you are like or where you are in your life.
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Users who thank rdoder for this post: Bambie34 

replied January 24th, 2010
That is really sad.
I'm 32 and a reject as well.
I laugh and joke about it.
Guys won't even consider me.
I'm just too ugly.
I have a cool personality though. I make friends easily. I make people laugh, I'm clever and interesting, I have lots of hobbies, I'm always studying something and I've travelled all over.
But men take one look at my outer appearance and decide no go.
I wish I could be married and have someone to scratch my back and love me and we could have babies, you know the whole picket fence... My friends say I would be wonderful with kids - they say if I had a husband he would be lucky to have me as I am pasionate and lively...
But - guys seem obsessed with the hollywood picture of perfection and beauty...maybe that is why so many marriages fail and people cheat and sleep around...No one is willing to give people like us a chance.
But, I am determined to not let this worry me. Life is too short to sit around and mope about what I do not have. I remind myself (I know it is cliche!!!) about all the people who are physically disabled, but still live complete lives or who have terrible illness - and still smile, laugh and get on with things. How dare I bemoan my lot in life??? So I go on smiling, laughing...I hide my hurt well...and at the end of my life I will be able to say NO REGRETS.
Don't get too fixated on sex - it will actually PREVENT you from being able to have a relationship with anyone.
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Users who thank Hounslow32 for this post: Bambie34 

replied May 28th, 2010
Me too
Don't feel too bad. I'm 33, raised a boy...but XXY and live as a woman. I look ok and like "girly" stuff but I"ve got too many hangups about sex and dating to ever do it. Sad

Still...I don't want to grow old alone. I'd like to have what many others do.
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Users who thank Marigny for this post: Bambie34 

replied February 13th, 2012
Chris in shape, atheltic, unattractive
same story, im 50 year male,unattractive however not overweight, in fact i have worked out 4 days a week since i was a teenage. Played High school football (not ever jock is a stud), just 1) shy 2) unattractive. While i have a college degree i have not been successful in a career ( Another things woman want). It is hard to find a woman that wants to be with you for you and not your job of position. Have never dated EVER!
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replied March 3rd, 2012
Pah! rejects? not even. All of you sound like great, wonderful and beautiful individuals with the potential to be great spouses who would never take it for granted. Never lose hope amigos! Get out there! Every single person is solely different and unique from each other. Age, experience and looks dont matter despite what social conformity and media expectations may say. Those are overrated and end in unhappiness, I know too many who have regretfully succummed to many things in life looking for acceptance and love and have become very broken, I wish you all much better oppurtunities. I hope you all find that special someone meant for you.
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