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I already have 2 kids and im pregnant with my 3rd and single

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I have already been raising my older 2 on my own for 2 yrs and i was dating my new bd for a lil over a yr. We had talked about if i ended up pregnant what would happen. Well i ended up pregnant, it wasnt planned but it wasnt prevented. And he decided after a month of knowing and telling his family that its not what he wanted, so he left me. So now im not only alone with my 2 again but im pregnant. Im scared and no one is supporting me. I dont believe in abortion and i couldnt live with myself with adoption. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what i should do, and its confusing me because i know what is best for me in the long run but i cant help but feel like i did something wrong, that this is all my fault and im going to have to struggle now alone with 3 kids. Has or is anyone else going through this and any advice or support you could give me. Some days are good but when i slow down and have nothing to keep me busy its when the lonliness hits me hard.
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First Helper momtoobe
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replied July 23rd, 2011
well i think i have a solution to ur problems if u need help
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replied August 6th, 2011
I wish I knew what to say but I don't. I have a 9 year old from a previous 12 year marriage. I have been with this boyfriend for almost 4 years. We have a 6 month old and I am now 7 weeks pregnant. Needless to say we are breaking up and I will be alone. I am terrified. I only work a couple of hours a week so that I can stay home with the baby. Like you, I do not believe in abortion and I could not consider adoption. I am terrified. I wish I could offer support but I can only offer an understanding ear.
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replied August 24th, 2011
left holding the baby
you know what guys im another one in the same boat i have 2 kids and got back with my ex after 4mnts i ended up pregnant- im on the mini pill and wasnt expecting it I already had thoughts we wasnt working out and getting back together was a mistake and then i found out i was pregnant ive been totally confused too i am terrified of having this baby alone yet i cant bring myself to make an appointment for an abortion to i have sat in my doctors and sobbed, its now been 3 wks ive had 4 doctors letters i havent booked in with antenatel and im walking round in a daze trying to keep busy.. my ex is a loser he says he wants us he wants his family back yet he just has no commitment goes out to work in the morning an turns up at 10pm drunk without even giving me the courtesy of a phonecall how am i to put up with that and cope with 2 children plus a baby plus work why is it too much to ask to just have a supportive partner.. im sorry i cant help you but know this ..your not alone....x
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replied September 17th, 2011
i am in the same boat as well...dont know what to do, i am already receiving single parents welfare, have 2 other children and a 3rd on the way - totally unplanned and not what i wanted but dont want to abort - dont want my friends opinions and negativity, i try to think about all the positives, then the negatives come in about how hard it actually is bringing up kids alone, all my pregnancys are to the same guy, but we have a pretty rocky relationship at the best of times, feel so alone and emotionally unsupported Sad
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replied December 2nd, 2012
Sorry to hear about your situation. You DO have choices available to you but it is up to you to make the best choice for your child.

What about adoption? 3 children being supported on welfare is not much and it is not fair to you, your other children and this child to have to struggle when there are people out there with the resources to support a baby 100% There are many places that will consider open adoption so at least you'll have some for of contact with your child through the years.

I also recommend therapy and getting on birth control. You have to be more responsible for your body and what you allow other people to do to it. Why put up with a guy that is clearly subpar - as a woman who is a good mother, you DESERVE better and therapy will help this. If a man cannot support you 100% and encourage you to do more with your life (school, work) then he is not worth your time.
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replied October 12th, 2011
same situation
I am a 34 year old, single mother of three kids. My husband and I split about 2 years ago and I started dating a guy I had known in high school about six months ago. I found out I was pregnant about two months ago. He was against having it as soon as I told him. I almost felt like I really had no choice but to "terminate" or" resolve the issue" as he said it. He slowly started distancing himself and now I don't hear from him or see him at all. He never asks about baby and I fear he will never be a part of this child. I am a strong woman and have no doubt that I can do this on my own. I am sure it will be a struggle. I too have those days where the lonliness is unbarable and I think I have made the wrong decision by keeping this child. But each appoinment I hear the heart beat I know I didn't. I have just started telling people and I fear the judgment and questions to come. I am now starting my second trimester and am starting to feel excited about this new love entering my life. We can not make other people good parents we can only make ourselves the best ones we can be. Good luck to you!
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replied February 5th, 2013
How are you doing now? Thanks for posting this. I am in the same boat as you, but you have your baby now. I am due in 6 weeks. I am just starting to get over the heart break, but not there yet. He distanced himself, because of the fear of ridicule of people, but I am hoping he will come around when the baby comes.
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User Profile
replied October 19th, 2011
Creating new paths through the thoughts of our mind.
I have 2 childern and am pregnant. All with the same man. I wanted much to be a family and I feel good about this baby and happily embracing the struggle. I don't know how optimistic I would be if I did not have family to intervine and support to step in when I said enough is enough. I have 18 dollars to my name, go to school full time and used the last of my money to pay the rent and electric and the dad was just not pulling his weight while. Not just finicially but was not supporting me emotionally or spiritually. I been here before..fool me once, shame on him, fool me twice shame on me. I didn't need a third strike to realize where my young 23 life is headed with him. I was remvoved from my home as I wrote my mother a giving up on life letter. Boy was I down and gone. He took my car with force and I just wanted to press chargers for a 24hr hold to get my car back..and be done with this maddness. He had a gun on him and weed. As a woman wanting to love a man that failed to be a good example for his family..he is my 1st bd so my heart will always feel a slight way but I can honestly say i am a lot of a bit stronger and over nite reassurance from God that a renewal and need to start over is very nessacry. I prayed for that..sometimes are prayers are answered even if it is in away we feel is uncertian. I questioned this pregnancy as you other mothers. But I feel great about this child and I embrace the struggle with a smile and open arms. We are God's greatest creation..If he let not the birds go withot a meal..for each blessing we birth into the world struggle is ordained but God won't let us go with out. Have faith, find faith build faith, thrust love in God and know that he is there. He is the only true security blanket in the rat race of life because without Him you will find yourshelves where you are or where I have been. Some days are better then others..just think good thoughts and call on those you know that are postive to remind you to steady the course when you can't seem to remind your self. Good luck to all you beautiful mothers out there. WE birth the generations to be..the world would not thrive without us. Let go of the artifical worries creating stress about things that have yet to happen that may not even come to exist to happen because we think the worst in hopes to prevent..try thinking the best in hopes to prevent the worst(smile). *LIVE,LOVE,LIFE*
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replied December 30th, 2011
putting an end to irresponsible and abusive men in your life
Hi there I have two boys 10 and 11. I have always wanted to have a family a loving caring, trusting, respectful relationship with a man. Unfortunately, I have not been that fortunate. I have been divorced from my boys father for nearly four years and he is a devil in any and all relationships...this last one took the cake....who to blame...two months pregnant and father leaves due to ex, his own insecurity and damages our relationship to no return.....I have been unemployed since August due to a boss...who was sexually inappropriate and whom was my step-father....I would love to meet a male whom I could trust.....therapy is assisting me in learning to recognize harmful men and to not let them into my life.....I hope that you all can take steps from continuing to let these kinds of men into your lives...meanwhile I am hoping and praying for this maddening cycle to be broken......LOVE MM cheers to a new year that end cycles of men abandoning women and children....and actually becoming men who are trusting and responsible
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replied March 4th, 2013
Hi ,
I have almost the same problem what you have. Sometimes I feel lonely and betrayed.But then again we can always think the bad sad of it not planning it well.But what I do with my situation now , I dont like adoption,abortion as well.

I always keep in MIND that not all WOMEN are capable of giving birth or having more than one child.So even if the man will not support you it will be his lost.We can never tell what will God will give us and bless us for believing what is right and what is best for now.

Yes we cant support 2 or more kids if we are single mom but for me as long as we try everyday to be a good mother to our kids I think it will be more enough than just giving financial stuff.

This is just my own idea or opinion as i have a smart 7 year daughter and 4 months pregnant now.Not with the same guy. I'm not bless with a partner but I do know I'm bless in having kids.

Hope this will help you a bit. Just be positive and in all our desire for our kids God will always be there for us.
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replied September 4th, 2012
i so dont what to be by my self whhen going thow laber where can i get help
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replied October 7th, 2012
SELFISH responses
why is no one giving her and answer she didn't ask to here about your situation selfish post i was hoping to get some answers but none here. Hope all works out do what i best for you.
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replied October 7th, 2012
some time I come on these post to see similar situation and what advice is giving but there's always rants about other people problems under the question. Don't mean to rude but it's frustration of not seeing advice. When people ask question your not helping. I don't no the answer to her problem because I have the same issue so i will not go on telling her my problems. I'm praying that god shows you the answer and everyone else who has this problem.
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replied December 2nd, 2012
This might not be what the OP and others want to hear but it is really not about you and how you feel. Many have stated that they couldn't deal with adoption but as a child of adoption, i was so grateful to my birth parents for giving me to someone who could take care of me financially, physically and most importantly, emotionally.

While it is hard ( as my birth mother has told me many times),if it will benefit the child in the long run, you have to do what best for them, not you. I am also a teacher and i work with children who have parents that can barely take care of themselves much less their children. Love is not the only thing a child needs and it is unfair to stick a child into poverty/unstable situation if there are other options (adoption, relatives, family support, etc)

Not judging, just giving my perspective

Good Luck!
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replied February 22nd, 2013
Pregnant and alone
I am about 6-7weeks pregnant and I have 2 other kids from my previous relationship. When my boyfriend and I found out that we were having a baby, we were thrilled and happy at the same time as he is going to be a dad for the first time. Recently he has distanced himself from me, we tend to fight A lot about how he wasn't prepared to be with someone who has kids. When we started dating we talked about it & he assured me he had no problem with me having kids, he love me the same even if I had ten kids. Lately he has been suggesting an abortion and his reasons are " just in case we are go our separate way, I don't wanna leave you with another baby. I thought about it hard, I was raised as a Christian and I do not believe in abortion. I am so afraid to go along with my pregnacy alone, but if he decides to leave I will have no choice but to face it alone. Is anyone goin thru the same thing please help help
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replied March 4th, 2013
Hi ,
I have almost the same problem what you have. Sometimes I feel lonely and betrayed.But then again we can always think the bad sad of it not planning it well.But what I do with my situation now , I dont like adoption,abortion as well.

I always keep in MIND that not all WOMEN are capable of giving birth or having more than one child.So even if the man will not support you it will be his lost.We can never tell what will God will give us and bless us for believing what is right and what is best for now.

Yes we cant support 2 or more kids if we are single mom but for me as long as we try everyday to be a good mother to our kids I think it will be more enough than just giving financial stuff.

This is just my own idea or opinion as i have a smart 7 year daughter and 4 months pregnant now.Not with the same guy. I'm not bless with a partner but I do know I'm bless in having kids.

Hope this will help you a bit. Just be positive and in all our desire for our kids God will always be there for us.

We have to be strong .Just like you said your a christian so lets hope and pray that having a child is a blessing in all sort of way.

Keep safe!
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replied April 21st, 2013
To all of you ladies going through this and similar situations. I have 2 children and am pregnant with my third, I was a single parent to my previous 2 for many years and found it hard at times but easier when I allowed myself to let go of the past and focused on my children. I met someone and we were together for 4 years when I fell pregnant with my third (the one I am now carrying), he has left me and I'm fine with it. Yes I love him but I understand that very few are prepared and even fewer ready to be a parent. I have raised children alone before and will do so again with my third. The other two are still at home with my oldest turning 10 this year. I find that focusing on where you want to go rather than where you have been is a good way to come to terms with things. I am concentrating on becoming a teacher, I find that having a goal is a great way to focus your energies. If you do not have anyone around to support you like myself, making new friends online with people in the same boat is a great way for you to find support as you can help each other through the tough times ahead. There is an old saying that I always remember "a woman is like a teabag, only when in hot water do you really see how strong she is" remember you are stronger than you think, you can do anything you set your mind to and never let anyone else make life choices for you. Good luck ladies and go get the life you want!
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replied July 16th, 2013
Same. The only thing I can say is stay strong. If you put the baby up for adoption think of what your children will think and feel.. I'm against abortion. I'm on state assistance because I'm a high risk and other health conditions and my kids never struggle they are very loved.. money and items dont make happiness love does and quality time spent with them. My kids get what they "need" yes toys ect.at times.. Your not a bad person because this happen its a gift. Good luck and keep your head up your not alone hun Wink
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replied November 18th, 2013
I have 2 kids age 7 and 3 both from my high school sweetheart. He was abusive so I left him and shortly after started dating this other guy. After being together for 3 years, I became pregnant. Now he is so mean to me, emotionally abusive. He will get mad and stay away for days. I really need him right now. I don't know what to do. I never thought I would be raising 3 kids as a single mother.
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replied June 9th, 2014
Confused and scared
I have 2 boys from a previous 8 yr relationship which ended about 8 years ago. I met a man and just thought he was everything after only 3 months of dating. We made this mistake of not using protection and now Im pregnant with my 3rd child. He wants me to abort the baby but i have had previous abortions in the past and I dont want to make that mistake again. Im so scared of being a single mom of 3!.Im already struggling Im so upset with myself. Anyone going through something similar? I need help!
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