hi!new to any forum. I have been a hypochondriac for 25 years. It is positive agony.I am 54 yrs. old. It started 25 years ago when diagnosed with cancer. Im cured now for 25 yrs, But shortly after that the racing heart, panic attacks so extreme, I would drive myself to e.r..Every day is a battle of self checking to the point of causing soreness and bruising.Right now Im convinced I have tingue and lung cancer. Over the weekend, my leg was sore from walking aroung fairgrounds so long , I was convinced I had m.s. or bone cancer or lymphoma. I watched my mom and brother die 5 months apart. Then my younger brother died of a broken neck, my cousin, liver failure, my dad, old age and saw them all on a slab at funeral home. Im wondering when my time is up. Last years physical was excellent along with blood workup. I am hypothyroid, but undercontroll with meds,so dont know where this is stemming from.My psychiatrist says I have post traumatic stress because of a horriffic child hood including guns put to my head, severe beatings, head gashed opin 16 in. they would not take me to dr.fearing state would take all my parents kids away. MY father kicked me between the legs with sharp cowboy boots cause they were both drunk. Both of them alcoholocs, mom also a pill head. She kicked me in my eye and still have huge scar.They would try to suffocate us in our sleep with pillows. My little sis says dad molested her for years.
We would get out of bed and run down long country roads and hide in ditches with our newborn sister to keep him from stabbinb or shooting us. Have been put on my knees with a cocked gun to my head. Just found out my oldest brother was the one who broke my younger brothers neck and left him in a ditch and ants ate part of his face, and he never told any one. My brother who was the victim told us truth before he died. So yes post traumatic, I can see, although that is just a sampling of the horrific obuse. I saw several counselors, but it didnt help. Psychiatrist has had me on several ssri's but have had side effects from all of them. Im so TIRED!!! of living like this . Sorry for the long drawn out story, but have no friends because I have not learned to trust anyone. I have never told my husband about all this for fear heel call me crazy, and hurt me internally even more. Thanks for listening. lo down