Did you know about his sexual short coming before the two of you were married, if so, then why did you marry him? I will not be the one to tell you to leave your husband, you need to weight the situation out yourself! I hope that whatever choice you make, it will benefit you the most. If you are not being satified with the sex you are getting from him, you might want to consider a toy until you make up in your mind if you wants out of this GOD forsaken marriage in which your mate wants the same thing you wants (A PENIS) or if you wants to stay in it!!!!

Hey marylander38
Your husband isn't Gay. He's developing an interest in other things sexually. This is very normal in a relationship that last more than a few years. Sexual appetite that can only be satisfied outside of the marriage are very destructive but watching gay porn doesn't mean he has a need to cheat on you with a man. Talk to him about what he does want in bed and how you can help him have it. When you understand what he wants you can make an honest decision if you're able to provide it or not.

bo21, I didn't know about this until a year into our marriage. He wanted to share me with his best friend, which came to a surprise to me because he had always acted like a very decent, very educated and manly man. After that, once or twice a year he liked talking about threesomes with another woman. I let it happen because he insisted so much, and I hated it and hated him for years. Then in the last year, he has been talking about threesomes with another man. His excuse is that he doesn't want to hurt me again and also, he is too lazy to please two women. I will NEVER let that happen again by the way, I hated it. But now he wants threesomes with another man. And Wolf, I tried to have fantasies with him while having sex because that was the only way he would get an erection. I told him that as long as it was just talking but not acting, it was okay. I think I know what he wants. He wants to use me as an excuse to be with another man. And bo21, I don't like toys. I like the real thing. I guess I am a little too romantic and prefer the kissing and the hugging than the wild sex. I figure, if someone is watching m2m sex, it is because he wishes he was one of the men in the video having sex. Ugh! so disgusting! Although he insists he is not gay and even gets mad when I bring up the subject, I think he is gay. I think I am going to have to leave him when I find the right time. I don't want to hurt him and I don't know what will be of me if I leave him. All I know is that if I stay with him longer, he will end up leaving me eventually for another man.

maybe he is just bisexual...and this was his way of telling you. and by you freaking out like you did, he might have just backed out of his idea of telling you his deepest desires and fantasies. you two definitly need to talk...good luck!

marylander38
Your husband isn't capable of being gay. He had sex with not just you but another woman. I'm presuming you didn't use drugs to disable him or tie him down and force him to have sex with a woman.

However you should leave him. You don't trust him. You don't seem interested in letting him regain your trust. Even if you could accept his taste in pornography you'd most likely find another reason to leave.

they had this HBO special about gay men in power who are closet gays and marry women to cover it up.
i would think that he is... especially because of the lack of sexual desire, interest, the point that you have to fantasize for him to get an erection.
you dont deeply know how he feels inside. you have to find out the truth by any means necessary so you can make an informed decision.

ServiceU
This isn't HBO, Gay men have sex with men much in the same way that white Tshirts only come in white. marylander38's husband has had sex with her, he is incapable of homosexuality.

Mary, he is what he is...You aren't going to change him...If you are happy, then accept him...Don't make both of you miserable...Stand by your principals...Stay away from the threesomes...I think the companionship is important to you...Honey, just be happy...

Regards,
Caroline

Mary, my heart goes out to you. Recently I found my husband of 25 years had been actively seeking out transvestite men and meeting them. In their bent world, he is classed as an "admirer" and "allowed" to perform oral sex on them. If only I were 40 again with a real chance of meeting another man! As it is I'm 60, and if I left would be facing a poverty stricken lonely old age. The blow to my self esteem was initially devastating. Then gradually I am being more selfish, in a thoroughly positive way - manicures, new clothes - damn, he mightn't appreciate me, but I sure can appreciate myself.
One positive suggestion - look (nothing more!) at some mature dating sites. You will find out that there ARE nice straight men out there. Point is, as long as you feel trapped in this relationship, you can't make good choices. Once you understand that there could be a way out, you may well choose to stay -or go!