Regardless of what happens with your husband, you need to start taking care of yourself. Are you seeing anyone for your anxiety and depression? If not, you really should. You owe it to yourself and to your son. You won't be able to fix your relationship until you are in a better place emotionally. There is no shame in having anxiety and depression. It isn't your fault, but you do have the power to begin to change it by getting the right kind of help. There are very effective therapies and medications that can help you get your life back.

Once you take care of yourself, you can put energy into fixing your relationship, if that is what you want to do. As it is, dealing with your husband's infidelity is too much on top of everything else.

Good luck with everything. I know this is a really difficult time in your life--maybe even the most difficult time, but it won't always be that way.

Have you considered going on vacation with him and your son?...Make it a family affair...By doing this you could take the stress out of your life and any temptation that may come his way...

You can't live a life of stress over this...Already it is tearing you apart with worry...Find yourself and decide which road to take in life and find peace...

Take care,
Caroline

I could almost swear that I wrote that. I'm going through a very similar thing. My husband had a weekend trip with his old buddies to the town he grew up in. He also invited an ex-girlfriend that he had reconnected with on facebook. They spent several hours alone together, though he swears it was just friendship and nothing happened. But I found emails from her to him, sent before the weekend trip, that told him how much she still loved him even after 10 years and telling him how much of a mistake it was for him to marry someone else.

I lived off meal replacement shakes for 3 weeks. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. We've been working on things, but I'm still not able to trust him 100%. This last week, I'm able to eat. And when he's home, I'm fine... but when he's out I'm a wreck... suddenly I have severe separation anxiety in addition to my already near crippling anxiety that I've yet to find a drug to effectively treat. Worst is that he's due to go back to his hometown at the end of the month for a convention, and I can't help but be afraid that he'll meet up with her again, even though he swears he's broken communication with her. (It's only been a week since he got the reply to his "kiss off email" -and in it she begged him to be with her and that she was nothing without him)

that's a dangerous situation! i dont mean to upset you, but that's the worse thing for a women to be there for a man and feel that way.
some men can be weak especially when there's problems in the household.
with my very painful life experiences i learned that if we can control anything, it is ourselves, and not anyone else.
so is there any medication you can get on to control your separation anxiety and crippling anxiety. you have to be strong and know that you are a beautiful person that deserve love, respect, and honesty.