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Husband fanticizes about me with others

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Ausee12

May 2nd, 2009

My husband has told me that he has fantasies of me with other men...probably women too, I'm sure.

He recently told me that after college, he had an experience where he was the 3rd party in a sexual experience with a couple. He had never told this to me before, and I feel betrayed. I feel that, yeah, he had fantasies before, but now I think of them as a way of reliving a past that I didn't know he had. I am not as comfortable with being with other people as he would probably like...which I think is weird (on his part). I don't really want to go to a hedenism resort or invite somebody into our bedroom. I have always known I wasn't a real kinky person and he should've made me aware of his sexual goals before we were married. Our marriage is great, but stuff like this makes me feel inadequate. How could our sex life fulfill him if I don't take it to new levels like he fanticizes?

Or..should I just start flirting and engaging with other men at bars and stuff. I guess this is my idea of putting it in his face because I'm so frustrated with thinking about meeting his needs.

What do you make of this?

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worrywart01

replied May 3rd, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

my boyfriend has the same fantasy...apparently its quite common...i was actually really offended at first..i mean i was thinking how can this guy love me and want to share me? i still dont really understand it..but we've moved past it...basically I made it clear that I am just unwilling to sacrafice MY morals and My beliefs just for one night that may or may not be great..could be REALLY awkward and could ultimately ruin the relationship...I believe that if you're in a relationship thats serious then it should stay monogomous period..I dont want another man...you really really do not want to sacrafice yourself for something you don't feel comfortable with...just sit him down and talk to him calmly..tell him you respect that he has this fantasy and you'd be willing to do ANYTHING to assist with this fantasy(buy a dildo or a doll etc) EXCEPT bring another man into the bedroom...i dont see how it wouldnt cause problems...I would never want to risk making my man feel inadequate or jealous just for one fantasy night...and i would never want to jeopardize the relationship..and he can sit there and say over and over again that it wont but I personally think that if he ever did get this fantasy out of me..his opinions of me would completely change...anyway...if you don't feel right with it..then just discuss it with him..its not your fault this wasn't discussed before the marriage

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starship33

replied May 4th, 2009

Supporter

anyone can have fantasies, i have fantascies, but it's somethings i would never do.
do give into this, be straight up with him, tell him that will never happen because it would be breaking your vows, its adultery.
he shouldn't told you about this in the beginning.
my ex (good guy) told me he was in a threesome. then he told me the guy gave him oral, then one day he said he gave a guy oral. i felt so uncomfortable, but i got over it. he was bi-sexual! that's different, we were not married, and if we were i would have a big problem with sharing him.
is your husband bi-sexual?
you also have to be careful with std's in that type of lifestyle.

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MFMgal

replied March 23rd, 2013

Hi there, my husband has encouraged me to do the same and if handled correctly I can now tell you, it can be really fantastic. For me having sex with sexy black men with my husband’s support and encouragement can be the most exciting and pleasurable thing in the world. Us white wives in their 40s and 50s having hot sex with younger black guys has become a real big thing in the US these days and is actually very popular. However, to enjoy successful experiences it is absolutely vital that all parties share the experiences fully, are genuinely willing and comfortable with the situation and have shared expectations. You must discuss everything thoroughly first and make sure you both want it as a means of improving your marriage. We have found it to be the ultimate sharing experience and we both love my extra sex activities. My husband worships me for being so sexy and I can tell you there is no shortage of young black studs eager to please a mature married white lady. Good Luck

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	Tags: sexual experience, sex, about marriage, sexual life

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