Husband doesn't care about my ED Posted: 07-02-08 20:03pm
Hi, I'm 23 years old, recently married to
a man who says he loves me deeply - and he
knows about my ED, I told him like 2 yars
ago and he is the only one who knows.
I've had my ED (bulimia with
binge/fasting) for almost 5 years now and
it is getting worse, it basically became a
living torture, present every minute of
the day. I do extreme binging and fasting
(with plenty of horrible effects, extreme
weight fluctuations, fatique, depression,
hair loss) and my husband simply DOES NOT
CARE. Obviously, I got 2 problems: my ED
(with a desire to heal!) and why doesn't
he care/help? Because the fact that he
knows and does nothing feels way worse
than being competely alone in this.
I never eat with him - and he doesn't even
ask me to join him. He knows what I am
feeling, I am vividly explaining
everything, I am trying to make him see
that my life is a living torture - he
feels bad for some minutes, then never
asks again.
He never asked me to go to a doctor, never
thought about a therapist, medication,
anything! Months after I told him about my
bulimia, he was clueless - he didn't even
try to get information on what my bulimia
means and how he can help.
Even more, when we go out, he always
suggests fast food places because he likes
them, even though I tell him I want to eat
healthy to get better.
Is this normal? Is this ok? Sometimes I
feel like if I lost dramatic amounts of
weight till the point of being extremeley
underweight, maybe then he'd notice and do
something, anything! So basically, him
knowing but not helping me is definitely
making my ED even worse.
Please give me your thoughts - why is he
so passive? I simply do not understand how
he lets me fall apart like this and he
just stands by.
Thank you.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2603 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 07-08-08 06:22am
I don't think he will do anything as by
now I'm pretty sure you already look very
underweight. So you are on your own to
heal. And you can heal without his help. I
wouldn't know what to do as ED are so
complicated and from what I seen it
doesn't help someone with ED telling them
to go a doctor. So it doesn't help telling
to go to a doctor and it doesn't help not
telling. Then what helps right? It's gotta
come from them the desire to heal and do
something.
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caratron
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jul 2008 Posts: 1
same here Posted: 07-09-08 17:40pm
my boyfriend doesn't care either...but i
was thinking, and they probably pretend to
not care because they're scared that if
they try ti help, they won't be able
to....and they're probably just scared by
it in general...maybe he doesn't ask you
to eat with him because he's scared of
making you feel uncomfortable...you know?
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mhunter916
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2008 Posts: 2
There is help Posted: 07-23-08 09:42am
For eating disorders there is a 12-step
program called Food Addicts in Recovery
that is for both overweight and those with
ED to stay thin. It is a fellowship of
those that help you deal with what is
going on inside your head that makes
people over eat or starve and purge. Not
sure if there are any meetings in your
area, but you can check online at www.foodaddicts.org.
It's a non-profit organization that is
self funded, there are no dues or
membership fees, members donate a dollar
or two at each meeting. Like with
alcoholics, food addicts have found an
uncontrollable urge to eat because of an
allergy to sugar, and flour. Once you
find a sponsor you are guided in a new way
of eating and trusting a Higher Power to
help you do what you can't do alone.
