Medical Questions > Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum

Husband cheated on me

Couple weeks ago I found out my husband has been cheating on me with one of his co-workers... Since then I have been extremely depressed, my mind is a mess, I cannot concentrate on anything... my work and studies are not going well, I have no energy to do anything but to stare at the wall and try to somehow cope with this horrible pain... I had no idea I could feel this BAD, I feel sick in my stomach, my head is too heavy... I thought I had a good and reliable husband, who would NEVER let me down, he was everything to me... We wanted to grow old together, enjoy this life together, and now everything is lost, gone, crushed...! How can I make this pain to go away??? How can I ever feel anything positive?? I feel so desperate, so lost, so lonely... as if someone is slowly stabbing me to death...!
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replied August 1st, 2008
Sounds interesting
Thank you for your reply! The book you mentioned sounds very interesting, especially that Survival package after cheating... Its exciting to imagine that we could really learn to control the way our brain works same way we control our muscles... it would be fantastic if I could train myself NOT to think about the affair every second every day.... maybe I can teach myself to see this breakup as something positive, rather than the end of my life... I think I will buy that book. I read the page you linked to your message, and it lead me to this page (link below). Did I understood correctly that I just pay normally with credit card of paypal account and after that receive the electronic book to my email? I have not bought an electronic book before, so I don't know how it works...

Thank you again!
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replied August 1st, 2008
about the process
Yes, its very simple, it goes just as you described, and you should receive the book to your email within couple minutes from purchase, that's how it worked for me. Yes, it really is an exciting idea that we could control the way our brain works! When you start to think about it, there are many examples of people being able to control their physiology: people can train themselves to control their heart rate, or block the feelings of pain, etc... so why could we not control our brain and also other emotions in addition to pain in same fashion? That book deals with this topic, and gives pretty good practical advices of how to achieve this goal. I was able to teach myself to deal with pain and negative feelings related to my husbands cheating, so that I was able to start a new, balanced life. I feel I am now much better equipped against all sorts of tragedies which may come my way in future, I will not be crushed by hurt and pain, now I know how to deal with them.

I wish you strength and lots of sunshine!
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replied August 26th, 2008
Experienced User
He wasn't your dreaman...why? because you're not like him...you wouldn't cheat... so your real dream guy is out there somewhere...

I don't know how youre thinking but I read a women magazine (I'm a guy) just to read something at home...and most grls go back to there cheating husband because there are depressed...so don't think that you want him, or you need to be around him.

I'm only 20, but I hate guys or girls who cheat....why because they think they are loving but they aren't...because LOve is Respect and Love, and what he did wasn't respecting you...it's time to defend yourself...defend your principles, stand up for yourself and say "No way Ho say! you are going to be out of my life from this point!"

and then look outside....go in the city and you will see so many people, so many guys...so many guys who could be perfect with you...of course do not go into something yet...just think for the time being.... that the world is your Oster(sorry don't know how to spell that)

hope this helps!
if you need any info on how to get over him, don't hesitate to ask!

Bye!
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replied August 26th, 2008
I agree with pizzadude...and remember to look good no matter what, you deserve better!
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replied August 27th, 2008
Experienced User
yeah...
I agree with tinkerbell....listen to pizzadude.lol.lol.lol.

bye!
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replied August 23rd, 2009
Supporter
hi im suffering the same thing i found out that my husband is hiding stuff and that he is comunicating with other women and when i ask him about them he denies thet he ever talk to them i feel so depressed and in pain i think he is way into more than that i feel there is abig thing he is hiding i don't know what to do i know he is doing stuff but i cant confrunt him
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replied August 23rd, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Hey mariah79
If you're feeling betrayed by your husband certainly don't do anything about it without evidence. It would be a shame to lose what could be a very good marriage over a misunderstanding. But do talk about this with someone, either a health care professional or pastor. Get an outside voice that you can trust and one you can be sure will respect your privacy.
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replied August 23rd, 2009
Supporter
one day i was playing a game with his mobile and he was checking on me every minute and when he ask me to find any wep sites with his phone wile he driving he wont stop looking at what am doing i felt its weird specially that he lock his phone with a secret number so i can't use it unless he open it.he is out every night by him self and he doesn't answer my calls moreover he never ask me for sex.one day i saw an email and a tex saying that he was meeting some girl in a private restaurant that i hate and he knows i would never go there another email was from a girl he said he never talk to and he knows nothing about her. he is very aggressive and he fights about every thing i can't face him because i know he will lie or get so aggressive acusing me that am spying and even if i did tell him what i found out does that mean that he would stop i tryed to find some help but they never replay i think they are to busy
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replied September 1st, 2009
OKay, I'm just the type of person that believes that communication is everything. He doesn't have to say much or he can talk a lot but your guts tell you if he's really sincere because honesty is something that shows respect and respect really is what love is. Men are full of lame excuses. Women have to take care of themselves inside and out. I am sorry you are feeling pain. It's understandable! Please don't waste time hurting over it and even worse thinking about him! If you can run to the salon, join an organization, register for a class, buy a great dress, redesign your life and think about you! Things will start to change and you'll be on the way to finding the happiness you deserve. Let him feel remorse of what he's done. You don't need to pay the sentence for his stupidity when after all he will realize that he gave up on you when he shouldn't have.
For me divorce was very painful and now I'm pretty sure I wasted a lot of time beating myself up over HIS mistakes. I wish that I never paid any attention to it and found a way to love myself and life faster so that i could enjoy life more fully. I can't take those years back for my broken heart healing, but now i laugh at myself for being so sentimental for someone that just wasn't worth all that 'adoration'. You will heal, just be loving to yourself!
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Users who thank mikko for this post: mariah79