Bipolar Disorder Forum - husband can't take it

Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum > husband can't take it

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Q: husband can't take it

asked by: Meklia on June 22nd, 2008

Experienced User

He didnt know i was bipolar when we started dating. I was happy cheerful and when i would self harm he thought it was just depression, cause thats what i told him was wrong.

But a few months into our relationship i had a traumatic experience with him and his ex.(my own fault might i add but still) and since then i havent been the same...

My moods shift constantly, weekly now. between severe crippling depression to severe anger..to being so happy its like i'm on air. I've become abusive, controlling and selfish when i'm upset.

I love him so much, and he loves me or we wouldnt be married, but he's at wits end with me. He yells at me for my lack of a job saying i need to stop blaming everything on my disorder..but i cant even hold a job for more then a month if i'm lucky. Hell i didnt even make it past orientation to my last job. He says he wants to understand whats going through my mind but he cant, and when i'm angry he cant even reason with me because he says its like i'm not myself at all.

He's afraid of me cause twice last year i pulled a knife on him...but i dont remember doing it fully...and as soon as the worst of the anger is over i'm a crying wreck begging for forgivness.

We want children..and are even trying now..but with my most recent mood swing..i'm beggining to think i dont want kids to be like me..or to be raised like i was always fearing their parents.

what the hell do i do to keep my problem from destroying my realtionship?
(by the way i'm 19, he's 20..and i'm not on any meds and dont plan to even get on them i dont like side effects.)

Replies(4)

CarolDiane

replied on June 22nd, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

He needs to brush up on knowledge of this disorder. Maybe then he will uderstand why we have so much trouble in employment, relationships and just life in general. I can go off on a rapage in a hearbeat if someone sets me off. Been much better since on medication. Like day and night. I have been through three marriages due to my Bipolar.
I really think the slight side effects of Bipolar medications will never outweigh the benifet you get from them. You will never know unless you try. It could mean a change for a better future and your sanity. Don't say no unless you have at least gave it a try. Ask anyone one this board that is Bipolar. I think you will find that most of us have very little side effect from them. Besides, your doctor will try you on one and if that don't work another will be tried. Took me twice to get the right cocktail. I am a new person. I think I actually have a good relationship now but there is to much water under the bridge to even think about it. To much hurt and a passed I can not forget. Would be way to hard for me.

Carrie

antigone

replied on June 23rd, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

I agree with Carrie. The benefits outweigh the negatives with medications. You do not sound stable. Medication can bring much more even moods and that will have a very positive effect in your life and relationship with your husband. You are allowing your disorder to drive the car when you should be behind the wheel. This is self destructive and will lead to more chaos in your life. Give medication a chance. There are many options out there to help you. It is not a one size fits all treatment plan. It takes trial and error but when you find a medication or combination of medications that work for you, you will feel so much better.

I hope you will reconsider getting treatment. It will bring some stability to your life.

Users who thank antigone for this post: CarolDiane

Meklia

replied on June 24th, 2008

Experienced User

thanks

is there anyway to manage this without medication? Its not just a matter of side effects...its a matter of i dont have insurance, and its to expensive to see a psychiatrist to get the meds in the first place. Hell i cant even find a therapist out here for anything lower then 100 bucks. I've tried looking into sliding scale but i cant find anything. That and even if i make the appointment i can bet money on the fact that it would come around and i wouldnt go.

I need to get a job, so i can get meds etc..but i cant get a job untill i get on meds and get stable.

I've had this since i was 12 or so, and all these years..been hospitalized twice and still havent gotten the help i need, i'e been on prozac, trileptal, paxil, and something else i cant remember..and all any of those drugs ever did was send me into a worse suicidal mindset then i had already been in.

so thats also why i'm sorta weary to trying any drugs.

blah..

sorry ranting..i used to be a part of a wonderful self help group online, even tattooed its name on my arm surrounded by a wonderful design to remember those we couldnt help, and those we can try to help...but that group has sadly died (not litterally...people just stopped posting, and our older members got better and left.) I miss having people to talk to who knew the worst of it all Sad

eep i'm sorry i'm just going on and on..my minds sorta a mess today.

CarolDiane

replied on June 24th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

If your strong enough and can go it along, and not let things get to you, then yes. Good luck and I wish you the best.

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