So my dilemma is this, I just recently discovered that my husband has been communicating with his ex-girlfriend via facebook and email. When we first got together 7 years ago this female contacted him via email to allegedly catch up. He told me about it at the time and even let me see the email he sent back to her. We agreed then that communicating with exes was something we didn't think was appropriate for our relationship and that we would not do it. Since then, I never thought that changed. About a month or so ago I noticed a girl who was commenting on my husbands facebook posts and looked at her profile. I thought it was his ex, this same girl, but at the time I was not sure. So I specifically asked him that night if he had any of the people he had slept with as friends on his facebook. He said no...and I believed him.
A couple of days ago however I was in my husbands email looking for a message from his ex-wife regarding the child support arrangements. I would not have needed to look there, but I had deleted the message out of my box but thought he might still have it so I checked his. While scanning the list I saw a message from this ex-girlfriend. (We have always mutually allowed access to our emails) It was archived and I don't believe he realized the email trail was still there. So I talked to him later the same night and though I was talking about a mutual friend (seriously), and the fact that she still talks secretly to the man she cheated on her husband with, he apparently felt guilty so he deleted this girl as a friend on fb and then deleted all the messages he had sent back and forth to her. He never mentioned anything to me about it so I called him on it the next night. His explanation was she had sent him 5 or 6 friend requests on FB over the years and he had previously denied them all...but this time her name had changed so since she was married now he thought her contact was innocent. I would by that except for these things...
1. In the emails he had with her he called her by the nickname he used for her while they were together.
2. He said "I miss you and I think about you alot" "I remember how hot you always were" "You have always been so put together, that's what draws me to you" and "you're still looking as fine as ever" and that she should contact him on his work email instead of fb or this email address.
3. She said "I still look at your pictures and think about all the time we spent together" "I never looked at you as just a fling" "You were and are a really good person" "I miss you" "I really want to be in touch with you more."
4. There just seemed to be something else behind everything that was said in the email and FB messages.
5. He lied to me about being friends with her.
6. He leaves for work at 530 gets home well after 7 ever ynight and is asleep on the couch by 930 each night.
7. Dramatic drop in our sex life. (I am pregnant, but that didn't stop us the first time so this is unusual)
8. He treats me differently...has less patience with me, says things he never would have, doesn't hold me at night when we go to sleep (before couldn't fall asleep not holding me) to name a few...
I just feel like he is a liar and would be a cheater (IF he isn't already). I feel like the writing is on the wall about him and if I try to let this go I am setting myself up to be played. He claims they never communicated beyond the stuff that I saw, but that's just too convenient in my mind. Why would she reach out so many times just to not say anything when she finally gets his attention? I've asked him to explain why he did this knowing how it would hurt if I found out and he says he just wasn't thinking. I asked him why he told her to contact him on his work email (the only email of his I don't have access too. Not that he couldn't just make another account) and he has yet to even try and respond. I just feel like I can't trust him anymore.
Am I over reacting...do I even have a problem? I am mostly bothered by the lie. I really can't believe he would lie to me about something like this...and then the fact that the emails seemed sexually charged (but the trail was incomplete) makes me think he's done more than I know.
Sorry this is so long I felt like I had to give all the history...
Saving 
