Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

hurting badly and need some advice

Hello... I just need some advice on what to do about a break up, its going to seem like there was just too many things wrong with this situation but the fact is that me and this girl are so perfect together and our feelings were extremely strong. I'm sorry this is so long but please bear with me, I want to explain it fully.

First of all she is 18 almost 19 and I just turned 26 so there is a big age difference, secondly she is from a divorced family and has a lot of trouble living with either of her parents, she knows they love her but she doesn't feel loved, and lastly she had decided to live in Calgary for a while during a time when we were not together so we were doing long distance because we got back together before she left... I know that's a lot

I`ll give the whole situation from the beginning. We were together for about a month and a half when we first met and it was great, then she got weird and broke it off saying she felt that we were just friends. I knew that wasn't the case but I tried to give her space so she could figure stuff out. We only talked a couple times but then after about a couple weeks she texted me asking to please text her later so I did and she told me that she had decided to go to Calgary for a while to live with her dad, who she has some trouble living with, because she was having hard times at home with her mom and she wasn't happy and felt like she needed a change. I've always been very supportive and I've always been there for her and she knows that. She started texting me again on a fairly regular basis and after a little bit said she really wanted to see me again before she leaves because she misses me a lot. When we got together her feelings came back harder than ever, a couple days later she told me she knew a big reason why she left me was because I was the type of guy she would fall in love with and she wasn't ready for that, she had never felt that before. After that until she left, which was a little over a month, we got together quite a bit and talked all the time. We had such an amazing time and our feelings for each other grew more and more. She wanted to stay because of this but it was kind of too late and it was something she felt like she should do and I thought it was good too and I said I would still talk to her all the time. She decided to go for 6 months and save some money and then we would be together when she came home and it ended up being a full out long distance relationship. We were together the night before she left and she almost told me she loved me.

Right after she left I booked a flight to go see her in a month and a half, we talked everyday all day while she was trying to find work and it was actually really nice except that we both missed each other so much. She expressed a lot to me over this time about how much she liked me and how great it was going to be when she came back and how she loved being with me and that she planned on being my girl for a very long time. Finally after about a month she got a job that she really loves at a restaurant and met some really awesome people and she really needed that to happen because she was becoming extremely bored, all she ever did was talk to me. After about a week and a half at this job she got kind of weird so I asked her about it and she said that she loves being out there now and she can't keep the long distance thing going because she can't be on a time frame of when to come back because she wasn't sure if she would come back, but she might. She also told me she wasn't sure if she wanted me even though 4 days earlier she said I was the only one she felt loved by, how she was planning to be my girl for a very long time, how I was her favorite person, and lots of stuff along those lines. She broke up with me a week before I was supposed to go see her and we had a big trip planned but after a bit of talking I told her I understand and agreed that we would both take some time so I cancelled my flight and the hotel we had booked for our trip because she said it would be too hard for her to see me. I know she's finally feeling happy because she's meeting awesome new people and loves her job but that's partly because all she did for over a month was sit around bored and feeling depressed, I was the only thing she had and that was only through text everyday and talk on the phone once a week. I don't get how she could have her feelings for me change in a matter of days after all that time that I've supported her and the way she felt about me and the things she said to me.

She broke up with me a week ago and I was actually supposed to see her tomorrow if I hadn't had to cancel because of all this, I know she doesn't want to see me because it would be too hard for her because she still has feelings for me and I`m worried she doesn`t want to see me because she`s going to try to just get over me. I haven't heard from her since and I'm not sure what to do. I honestly feel like eventually she will get homesick and come home after a while but I'm scared that after all that time she might lose her feelings for me.

I know this girl has feelings for me and knows that we would be great together but I know she's loving it out there right now and feels like she's not quite passed living her young life. I miss her so much and I miss talking to her all the time and I know she misses me but I don't know if I should talk to her or if I should just leave her alone and wait for her to talk to me, I'm not sure if she's not talking to me just because she knows I'm hurting and knows it's hard for me. I just don`t know what to do I really feel like her and I are the perfect pair and I know she knows we are good together but it seems like she`s trying to deny her feelings for me. Any help on how I should handle this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied April 24th, 2010
One thing you need to always remember, when somebody loves you all the attention and affection comes EASY. you dont have to work for it. she is a game player. the only way to get over her is time and finding things you really stongly want to do. and forcing yourself to get out around other girls you like
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied April 27th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I dont think she is a game player..i just think she is young and is unsure about what she wants...Love can be a scary thing for a young person and because you are a older guy she is probably wary of you. I would give her some time and if you get the opportunity tell her how much she means to you and she might want to talk to you...Jenny
|
Did you find this post helpful?